Overhaulin'

What's a good website to find classic car parts? Hi, I'm somewhat new to internet and I need to find some rare parts for my 68 Dodge Charger. I've looked at Ebay, Year One, and some other auto collector parts website, and can't find what I'm looking for. I need a website that has pictures of the parts. I need the main air conditioning control slider unit, and a front grille (the grille has to be for a 1968 Charger, but the A/C unit apparently can be for either a 68, 69, or 70). Thanks greatly to anyone who can help, and have a great week!

Would a classic car be a bad choice as a primary car? Would a 80's model year car be worth the investment or would I be asking for trouble? I would probably want it as a daily driver, but I don't want anything super fancy. I've always been in love with the 81-85 El Camino's, Monte Carlo's, Regals, pretty much anything GMC. I like the stock/muscle look so I wouldn't molest it with over-sized wheels or anything (love rally wheels). I would probably only put money into things such as interior, engine, and body work (of course). Here is my thought on these particular cars; parts are everywhere=cheap, older cars are more simplistic in terms of troubleshooting and maintenance, insurance (liability) would be cheaper, tags, if current, would be cheaper, and a trip to the shop probably wouldn't kick my ass. I would still be keeping my current car, 96 Honda Accord, but I just want something different, newer cars are nice but expensive, everything about them are expensive, and a nice 1985 El Camino just seem like a better answer for a younger person who can't afford a nice ass car along with the higher insurance, and maintenance costs. I figured instead of making payments on something new, why not put that money into a car that will never go out of style. EVERYONE can respect a classic. And I am very aware of the risks you take in buying cars that old, It could come with all sorts of problems, gas guzzlers, might not be as safe as modern cars, etc., but my answer to some of those is that I figured for one of the cars that I mentioned, I could get a pretty nice one, restored where it counts, with nothing special added, for at least $4000-$5000, keep in mind what type of classic I am talking about, not a Corvette, Mustang, GTO, Chevelle, but cars that were common in its day but super appealing now. Any advice would be appreciated, just share your thoughts. Thanks.

How logical is it to buy a 35 year old car instead of a 10 year old one? I'm a little biased because I LOVE classic cars. To me, the argument for buying a 1960's car vs. a 2000 is that parts are cheaper, and I can do some of the labor myself (saving even more money) because it's simpler to do on many of these older cars. I'm not concerned about going 100 mph on the highway. I'm asking you to comment on the logic more than the actual choice because I know one could find a 1968 car in FAR better shape than a 2003 and vice versa, simply depending on the maintenance history of the car. I've owned a few classic cars. I've heard people say that "those older cars are money-pits and keep breaking down." Overall, I haven't found that to be true.

Where to buy parts for 1949 Plymouth? I've had a stellar opportunity to purchase a 1949 Plymouth for a great deal; however, if parts are nearly impossible to obtain then I don't want to have it on my hands and nothing to do with it. Where are the best places for parts for such cars? For example, Year One has plenty of parts for the older muscle cars but not necessarily for classic cars. Are there any similar companies for classic cars? Where do most people obtain parts for this genre of cars?

Why can't I put a new engine in an old car? My absolute favourite model of car is the 1977-79 Lincoln Continental Mark V. That car is absolutely beautiful, and I would very much like to purchase it. However, every mechanic has advised me against it because apparently finding parts for a 30 year old car is an extraordinary task, and to replace the engine I'd need to find one of those 70s 460 big blocks, which would be hard to find. Well why is it that I can't just put in a brand new, modern design engine? Can't I just replace the engine, and get a new gearbox if that doesn't fit? Is it actually impossible to get a 460 block of a modern design and technology and hook that up to an old car or is it just a sentimentality about the origional feel of the classic car? Because honestly I couldn't care about that, that's just a damn nice looking car. If I can put in a modern engine, how much would it cost? That car's 4,567 pounds, I should expect I would need a powerful v8. Thanks 351Jas, but another idea just occured to me, if I want to put the engine sideways and make it an all-wheel drive, would that be possible too? Well I haven't actually purchased the car yet, I could certainly purchase a 1977 Lincoln Continental Mark V with a fully functioning 1970s 460 big block as it came origionally, however if a part went out on that engine, apparently it would be hard to replace. So what I'd like to do is find a beat up one for cheap, and then restore it with a brand new engine. The Continental Mark V in its origional production got 7 miles to the gallon, how much does a ford v10 truck get?

question on best company for classic/historic car insurance? Our family has had State Farm for 70 years now, several generations, and in the last 10 years or so we have been progressively more & more disappointed in their "caring" and customer service. Maybe its just the 'assistants' that my local SF agent (who never talks to his clients any more) use, they both seem to have just horrible attitutudes, sarcastic, and act like you are a complete PITA every time you call. I even have an email from his main assistant that I asked her to forward to the actual agent because I was told he was the only one that could answer my question, and just today I was SHOCKED when I re-read the email, and saw in the "forward" of my email when his assistant sent it on to the actual SF agent, She said "This guy will just not give up, he keeps haunting me about this issue!" I couldn't freaking believe it. I was going to forward the email to SF headquarters in Bloomington IL, but then as I read more & more about state farm I saw they are completely independent agents in each office, and have literally NO ONE who is their boss or who can reprimand or correct them. This is unbelievable. If I treated my customers at my work place & gave them the rotten attitude treatment we get from our SF office here, I guarantee you I would lose my job. No one is in charge at state farm obviously. Back to my question - I recently bought a classic car I have been looking for a long time - getting it next week - it is 25 yrs old, all original & in perfect shape. My state (Maryland) lets me register the car as "Historic" if it is 20 yrs old or more. I plan to do this. I contacted my wonderful state farm office today, to get a quote on a new policy/binder for this collectors car. They apparently don't like insuring a vehicle as Historic, maybe the policy is too cheap & they do not make any money off it. The 'assistant' said the best they can do, even if I REGISTER this vehicle in Maryland as Historic & get an Historic tag, which I will do, she said the best she can do is insure it as "part time, occasional pleasure use, under 7500 miles a year". Which of course is NOT an historic policy. You can get that on ANY extra car you have in your household even if it is a 2011 model !! She did say (and I understand this being required) that "in order to have is classified as Antique/Classic/Historic, you have to have an appraisal done on the vehicle as if it just came off the show room floor -then the premiums would be much lower if you had full coverage on it, as historic/classic". So here we stand. Can someone out there please help me understand - am I being taken for a ride by my State Farm office? Should I shop around for insurance companies that just specialize in Classic/Historic auto insurance? If so can anyone recommend the best companies that specialize in reasonable insurance for classic/historic vehicles? Thanks for your help. .

Car Reform Bill - idea? I had this idea for a Bill,Let me know what you think. Car Reform Free Car The Car Reform will entitle every American citizen one free car. The car will be from Government Motors formally called General Motors. Any non American car companies will be illegal in America. Ford will be given the choice to merge with GM or be shut down. All non-American cars will and can be traded in for a GM car. You must trade in a non American car and cars older than 10 years within 90 days after the bill passed or will be jailed for 5 years and/or a fine of $250,000.00. All cars will have an equal value of $0.00 United States dollar. Selling a Car without trading it will be jailed for 10 years and/or a fine of $500,000.00. Therefore there will be new jobs made by allowing only America Cars made in America and All parts. Car Trade in American Citizens can trade in a car with-in 90 days of the bill pasting for a GM car without Penalties. Ever American Citizen can trade in their car every 5 years. They must trade it in every 10 years for Environmental and technical advances reasons. Car Availability American Citizens will go to GM trade in lots to trade in their car and get a new one of their choice. If they don’t have a car they want it will be ordered. Classic Cars Classic cars will be empted from this and will be judged to be marked as a Classic Car in the Federal Car Log. Fuel Fuel will be in credits. The amount of credits will be given will be judged by the Car Government and GM. If you need more credits you can request them via cars.gov and will be approved or denied. Each Fuel credit will be worth 1 gallon. Credits will be refilled on the 1st of every mouth and unused credits will roll over. Every Gas station will be required by feral law to take the Gas Cards via the Credit Card slots. Funding will be made towards Gas Stations to get Gas Card Credit processing systems.

Car Reform Bill - idea poll? I had this idea for a Bill,Let me know what you think. Car Reform Free Car The Car Reform will entitle every American citizen one free car. The car will be from Government Motors formally called General Motors. Any non American car companies will be illegal in America. Ford will be given the choice to merge with GM or be shut down. All non-American cars will and can be traded in for a GM car. You must trade in a non American car and cars older than 10 years within 90 days after the bill passed or will be jailed for 5 years and/or a fine of $250,000.00. All cars will have an equal value of $0.00 United States dollar. Selling a Car without trading it will be jailed for 10 years and/or a fine of $500,000.00. Therefore there will be new jobs made by allowing only America Cars made in America and All parts. Car Trade in American Citizens can trade in a car with-in 90 days of the bill pasting for a GM car without Penalties. Ever American Citizen can trade in their car every 5 years. They must trade it in every 10 years for Environmental and technical advances reasons. Car Availability American Citizens will go to GM trade in lots to trade in their car and get a new one of their choice. If they don’t have a car they want it will be ordered. Classic Cars Classic cars will be empted from this and will be judged to be marked as a Classic Car in the Federal Car Log. Fuel Fuel will be in credits. The amount of credits will be given will be judged by the Car Government and GM. If you need more credits you can request them via cars.gov and will be approved or denied. Each Fuel credit will be worth 1 gallon. Credits will be refilled on the 1st of every mouth and unused credits will roll over. Every Gas station will be required by feral law to take the Gas Cards via the Credit Card slots. Funding will be made towards Gas Stations to get Gas Card Credit processing systems. 16 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.

What is the best year of the Classic VW Beetles? I've always wanted to fix up a VW Beetle since I was about 16 (I'm now 29). When I was 17 I finally saved enough to buy a '71 Superbeetle for $800. I should have done more homework, but the internet was fairly new back then and I don't think I even knew how to use it. Anyways...I after I had already purchased the car, the first thing I tried to do was lower it... but couldn't because of the suspension. Also I started noticing little things about it that I didn't like... like the front end, tail lights, moon-shaped cut-outs behind the back windows, etc. Basically turned out that a '71 Superbeetle was not a good one to "pimp out". I believe they say the '67 is the "last of the good years". But I kind of want something older... like a '61 or maybe even older than that. I'm not really going for the all-original look. More of the two-tone paint job (probably red or teal body with cream colored doors), chrome rims, lowered suspension. Any VW enthusiasts out there have an opinion on this? What year is like the ultimate Beetle and why? 57? 67? Something in between?? Also, what do you think about the two-tone look? I know a lot of people are really big on restoring the car to all of the original parts and the original look...but honestly, I don't care much for the look of a stock Beetle. You can take a look at the link for a visual reference. Thanks for looking. http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/8726/img5459tonemappedbp1.jpg

Has anyone ever bought anything from Yearone? I am looking at restoring my classic car so I called year one. They told me because my car is a Sedan they don't have any parts for it. Anyone know any good restoration sites that might have parts for a 67 Impala Sedan?

What should my next car should be: an '07/'08 Honda Civic or a 2010 Kia Soul? I'm just asking because I have an '85 Buick Skylark, that I'm driving right now. It's really hard to find parts for a car that's 25 years old up, especially if it's not "classic" car, like a '60s Mustang or Camaro. I mean the Kia has a 10-year/100,000 mile warranty, but the Civic doesn't depreciate as quickly as most cars. They're basically the same price, unless I want to get extra bells and whistles on it, like getting leather interior on a Honda Civic EX-L (the L for "leather"). Anyway, I like to hear your answers. Which one to pick?

What's a good way to go about learning more about cars, parts, how they work, etc? Hi, my dad knows a ton about cars, but unfortunately i never knew him so i never got to learn anything from him. He's been in jail since i was a kid, woes me! haha Anyways, i'm 20 and i know very little about cars. I change my own oil and check antifreeze/trans fluid/break fluid. That's about all i know really. My mom has one of my dads old junk cars, it's an 88' firebird or transam, can't remember which. It doesn't run(did a few years ago) so i thought about maybe just toolin around on it and getting a manual from my local library, but i dunno. I also thought about maybe enrolling in auto-mechanics classes at the community college, but i'm kind of embarrassed too because most guys going into that probably have at least a solid understanding of things where as i know nada. I'd really like to get a nice classic car when i get older like an old GTO, or Impala, or charger, mustang, etc. But i think it'd be kind of lame to have such a great car like that but not know anything about how they work. So what do you guys think i should do to learn a little more about cars? Thanks for any ideas, appreciate your time.

Would it be a bad idea to have an older classic or muscle car as a first car? Bear with me. I'm 16, and I'll be getting my license in late october, and I am currently looking for a job. So, to the point. I absolutely LOVE older cars. I'm not so much worried about the size of the car, because I've driven a couple big cars, and those are easy for me. The next thing I'd have to worry about, is gas milage. So, here the next part of this. Depending on insurance, I don't know if I should drive any real muscle cars, because it would be classified as a sports car. (Maybe they wouldn't worry about it, because it'd be so old. But I don't know) So I was thinking of a 1971, 72, or 73 Monte Carlo. They are bigGER cars, but I've driven bigger, and they weren't a problem for me. How would the gas milage be for a 71-73 Monte Carlo with a turbocharged V6? I don't think a 4-cylinder would even MOVE a 71' Monte Carlo, and the turbocharger would actually save some gas. If the car had a turbocharged V6, would the insurance company bite me in the ass? Monte Carlos have never really been considered sports cars in the last 30 years anyways. They were just cars with 2 doors. (Apparently, if i car has only 2 doors, its considered a sports car; according to insurance companies) Like I said, I am looking for a job. Reason 1.) I want one. Reason 2.) I need one because my parents told me as soon as I got a car, I'd be paying for my own insurance. (And of course its gonna be high anyways because I'm 16) I asked both my mom and stepdad about those older Monte Carlos, and they said they were good, SAFE, solid cars, and they wouldn't have a problem with me driving one. My real dad wants me to get a really small car, like a Chevy Cavalier, or a Ford Ranger, or ANY small car that you can total just by hitting it anywhere with a baseball bat. And the SAFETY ratings on Cavaliers, Rangers, any small car, are Terrible. My real dad is more worried about insurance rather than my safety, and my dad wouldn't even be paying for the insurance!!!! Since I love older cars, I'm trying to make a compromise with myself about getting a 1971, 72', or 73' Monte Carlo. They're nothing compared to a 1969 z28 Chevy Camaro, or any 60's or 70's era Dodge Challenger, or 1972 Plymouth Barracudas, but Monte Carlos CAN have the potential to turn some heads if they look nice. (Since I'd might drive it to school, I'd probably make it look like a piece of shit. Probably put some scratches or small dents in the car, etc. But in reality, it'd have a hell of an engine, transmission, and other great parts. I wouldn't want anyone to want to steal it, but nobody my age is interested in older cars anyways, because they think they'd break down, even if they are completely restored......I think that's hilarious.....lol) Also, I CAN drive a manual transmission, so that's no big deal. Give me any advice. I appreciate your knowledge.

87 Integra; worth referbing, or get new? Actually, a couple of questions rolled into one. I have had a 1987 Integra LS 5spd for 7 years. It has 82k miles, some minor body panel rust (no rust on under carriage), front right bumper mount is broken; rigged, straight thru exhaust (I was lazy haven't fixed), a broken center console (cosmetic), and the seats are torn crazy (I put seat covers over them). KBB puts it at $640 trade-in. 5 more years, my state considers this a classic car for registration purposes, adding to my annual taxes. Engine is very sound for a 20 year old car, I personally cleaned or replaced a lot of parts under the hood, but I'm wondering if it is worth continuing the referb process, or should cut my losses and trade in? I love how the car drives. The only parts I can find come from salvage yards, but no intact body panels to replace the rusted ones. The only referb body kit I can find that fits and looks good is made by Kaminari (#085+1809). Any ideas? Yes, I'm a member of TI net. JDM parts begin in '94. I can't use them.

I can't look for this one classic song? I have been looking for this song for so long. I have no idea who sings it but sounds like the Beatles although I already checked but came out unsuccessful so I turned to you guys instead. Please help. I also don't know what year this song came out. I even listened to it on the cd player in my uncle's car. But part of the chorus goes like this: "Cauk, cauk, cauk, cauk, cauk" I'm sorry it sounds like cock but actually more like between "cak" and "cauk". These words repeat after another in the line. I really don't know what the singer was trying to say at that line, basically why I'm looking for it now. Please help, it's really bothering me lol. sorry for lack of details, mainly the reason why I still can't search for this song. Forget what I said about sounding like the Beatles, it actually only has one guy singing it but sounds like from the 70s or 80s. I hope this helps.

Car Help! I cant decide;? I need to buy a car within the week. I would like some opinions and feedback. I want a classic car, but it needs to be a daily driver. I would like sporty, not so much top end, but more torque and tight handling. I might be taking this on some gravel too once in a while. Im picky with cars but the few im thinking about is the BMW e30 on of the 3 series, or 90-93 Toyota Celica. or a BMW 2002 if i can find one. I have $4.5K to spend, but i would like to spend under $3, so i have a cushion when parts start to break. I was really stuck on the E30 but all i hear from my friends and family is its gonna cost 1.5k a year to maintain it. Any E30 owners disagree? or agree? if you have any other car suggestions id appreciate them. Maybe a 190e Mercedes, but i know nothing about those.

How do I go about getting started with buying/restoring a 1957 Chevy Bel Air? I've been searching the internet for months trying to find any info I can specifically about this model of car. I've learned a lot, but there are some major topics I haven't been able to learn ANYTHING about. I'm starting to get quite frustrated as it seems that nearly every resource out there is geared towards people who already know what they're doing and/or have had one of these cars for years already. For example, on general guides I've read over and over that I need to research what typical problem areas are for the model of car I'm interested in. Do they have problems with fuel gauges breaking often, wiring problems, etc... But anytime I try to research this for the 57 Bel Air all I ever get is advertisements for replacement parts, cars for sale, or toys/models. None of the forums I've looked at have any stickies for novices, either. There is a local car club, but it seems to consist entirely of much older men who couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day. Would anyone mind answering these questions for me in regards of what I need to get started, what to look out for, etc? 1. Assuming I plan to farm out complicated stuff like bodywork, paint, mechanics, etc... and only plan to do minor restoration myself/maintenance, what sort of tools would I need? Assuming I get average entry-level grade tools/hobby grade tools (as opposed to professional grade), about how much will this cost? 2. What are problem areas for a 57 Bel Air? As in, what should I look for when purchasing one, and what kind of problems often occur as far as maintenance for this particular model? (IE: what, if anything, requires the most frequent repairs on one of these cars?) 3. What kind of places would I want to check out in my local area if I wanted to get a look at one of these up close? (scrapyard, body shops, etc?) I can find these cars easily enough on the internet, but I'd like to get a better look in person so I can better understand/apply what I've read so far. 4. How often are these cars stolen? I've seen a few threads on car forums where owners report their cars being stolen, but I can't find any info in regards to how often this happens. My main concern is that I was considering getting this as a daily driver, but if I have a significantly higher risk of it getting stolen anytime I park it in public than I would with any other classic car (yes, I realize a classic car is more likely to get nabbed than a nondescript modern one) then I may have to rethink my plans... 5. Assuming I only want to do minor bodywork/restoration myself and leave the major stuff to professionals, about what kind of condition car (IE: price range) should I want to be looking at? I'm hoping to spend no more than $10k on the car itself and an additional $5-$15 on restoration. Is this even possible, or am I in fantasy land? Sorry for being so verbose, but I'm sick and tired of fruitless internet searches. Edit: This is a long term thing. I don't plan on buying anything for quite some time (10 or so years from now.)

Do classic/muscle cars cost more to insure? Im 16 years old with my driving permit going to be g2 in a few months (can drive alone with g2) Im looking to get a classic or muscle car so cars such as late 60's camaro or mustangs to something later such as late 80's monte carlos the car will likely be a project (im up for a small to medium restoration) so id try to get antique insurance? my cousin has antique insurance on his '81 camaro thats almost mint and its been appraised and everything and he can drive it on weekends and theres a set km's that he can drive according to his insurance im fully able to do a restoration as ive worked in an auto shop and I know a bunch of parts suppliers & garages (including one of my cousins) basically ive got the place, the tools, the know-how (im an auto student) and a parts suppliers anyways what I want to do is have it on my dads insurance, his record has been clean since started driving which around 30 years do insurance companies charge more for say cars that have options such as "SS" or other things that make is look sporty or make the car faster (bigger & better engine) say car with a 267 chevy v8 would be less insurance than one with a 350 v8? is it cheaper to say my dads the primary driver while I drive it? do older cars generally have cheaper insurance? is there such a thing as project car insurance? (do I even have to have insurance on a project if im not driving it say for a month?) im just so confused with all the insurance talk like premiums and deductibles etc etc.

Reliants and other 3 wheeler cars? Has anyone ever owned one? I'm thinking of getting a classic regal supervan in the future, but I'm concerned about getting parts and also the steering. How is it honestly going around corners? The only videos I can find are when people are racing them like idiots. Where would you get parts for a classic car? How expensive are they? What is it that makes them more flammable and would it be possible to get a slightly newer one that isn't? What year should I be looking for if I don't want it to burst into flames? Also what would the insurance be like for a 24 year old woman? Sorry for all the questions! Regards.

Should I repair or replace my 70s era loud speakers? When I purchased them in 1978, they were among the mid priced state of the art speaker systems. I have a pair of Ohm L loud speakers. The cabinets are solid walnut and weigh as much as two concrete blocks. At their optimum, these speakers make music and voices sound life like. When I crack up the speakers, friends have remarked that it sounds like the band is playing live in my living room. Now here's the thing. These speakers are very old. Do the math. Take 1978 away from 2011. What's that? Thirty three years, right. The speakers come with two tweeters and at least one of the two tweeters in both speakers is blown. In the woofers, the cones have deteriorated and I believe that a re-coning job is needed or simply replace the woofers. I am being lazy but my best guess is that the woofers are a ten inch diameter and the two tweeters are about a one inch diameter. If these are pretty standard in the industry, I could see about simply replacing the woofers and tweeters with some compatible components. Or I could simply dump the 33 year old speakers in the dumpster and see about buying a new pair of speakers at a Hi Fi store or get them on Ebay. What are your thoughts? Have you had to part with old stereo equipment? I feel like a guy who has to part with a classic car because he doesn't have the skills to maintain it. Here are some of the stats on my speaker. Look at some of the prices to replace the parts. In this case, it would be cheaper to simply buy a new pair of speakers. http://www.ohmspeakers.com/store_item_detail.cfm?item_ID=25

Car seat woes.. convertible? Britax Decathlon for a newborn? I'm attempting to pick out my first car seat but I am getting overwhelmed by the plethora of information and reviews.. It seems to -me- that small infants won't fit into most convertible car seats due to the lowest strap-setting being too high for them. Like, the Britax Decathlon is an awesome and very safe car seat and fits an infant with 9-10" (at lowest setting) shoulder heights.. but I'm concerned that infants tend to be smaller than that when newborns? Do you think YOUR newborn would've fit into the Britax Decathlon? Is there some other convertible car seat with lower shoulder settings? Did any of you use a convertible car seat from day one and have no issues with it? If not, and if ya'all think that going with a classic infant car carrier/seat is best.. Which one?! I don't like these base-things. I don't like the idea of any extra moving parts. Extra moving parts means extra parts to FAIL. I read on one consumer-reporting site about consumer complaints about safety .. Britax convertibles and Evenflo Triumph convertibles had very few (only a couple hundred) complaints .. whereas Graco Snugrides, Safeseats, and Chicco carseats (the plastic seats with bases) had thousands of complaints involving cheap materials, ie. they break easily, infants tear up the foam, latches come undone or break.. (And these seats are not what I would necessarily call CHEAP) sometimes causing injuries. It could just be that Britax is used a lot less often -- but, somehow I don't think so. Somehow, I think they must just manufacture their seats to higher standards. That being said, I don't think my mother-in-law will buy me the infant Britax (Companion) since it can only be used up to 22lbs. She won't like spending 300$ on a carseat that could possibly only be used for about 5 months if my child ends up large. Most likely she'll insist that I get a cheaper car seat if I think I must use the newborn carriers instead of a convertible. She wouldn't mind spending 300$ on a car seat that I could use for possibly 3, 4, or 5 years, though. Like the Decathlon. Sooo.. Decathlon? Newborn? Anyone?

why are older cars re-emerging as popular now? Reading through several questions and answers I found that personality in addition to reliability and cost have large parts to play in people's decisions. There is no truly American made car anymore, and by most people's standards they don't care if their car is made in America or not as long as it's affordable. If you priced an American branded car over the price of a foreign branded one, I think you would find that people are more price sensitive than patriotic. This of course is the case in parts of the country like Colorado and Utah where there's no "car culture". Places like Michigan and midwest that were home of auto production for many decades still have the "American or nothing" mindset. Reason being is that if you bought an imported car, the impact would hit closer to home. Your next door neighbour might work or know someone who works at an assembly plant and the effects of you buying the imported car mean the company selling less and therefore not needing as many workers or cutting back working hours because of that. Another part is that the economy that we're in right now makes buying and affording a new car more difficult. An economy car is $17,000 for a nice one, and buying a classic model like 60's or 70's might cost $5,000 if you get a deal on it. The newer car will seem to be maintenance free for the first few years because everything is of course new on the car. Most parts on most cars new or old last about 7 years, just standard wear and tear on parts not because of low quality. Most people are now concerned with fuel economy (big thing now) and make the argument that newer cars get better economy, which they do. However even if you compare a car that gets 28mpg hwy and one that gets 19 hwy the cost difference in ownership is still higher in the newer car. Most people don't think about the taxes they have to pay on that new car, nor higher insurance rates, nor car payments and interest for a period of several years. On a new $17,000 car you'll probably pay around $3,000 in interest if you get a good (for today's standards) loan. The price difference between $5,000 and $20,000 is of course $15,000. Just calculate at current fuel prices how long it would take to spend $15,000 in fuel. Safety is another thing people are concerned with and of course they have every right to be. There are two things to this that I'm concerned with. Safety is great, but I also believe it's much of the driver's responsibility to learn how to drive their car(s). Newer cars have loads of safety features and are unarguably safer than a classic American car. Yet the converse of this is that the younger drivers of today don't have the experience and skill to be able to get out of possible accidents that older more experienced drivers can have. I'm choosing to drive my 67 Fairlane over my 03 WRX for a few reasons. The Subaru isn't nearly as unique as the Ford and even though safer and possibly more reliable, the way it looks (how I bought it) sometimes gets the wrong kind of attention as in people want to race me. I can also fix many more possible issues that come up with the Ford without needing a code reader and code decypherer. It rarely needs to see a mechanic, and at one point out of owning 4 cars, "the old Ford" as I used to refer to it actually was the most dependable. The 60's and 70's makes of American cars that are popular today were also race cars. The companies had to produce a car that the average consumer could buy in order to race the cars. This meant (from many documentaries, some that are a bit biased) the cars were going to be much more rigid and made to last in a grueling race. Economy cars are the opposite. Many of the parts in those cars aren't made to last a long time because the company wants you to of course buy a car, but it's not the companies that are evil. An econobox is made to be inexpensive and so the quality of parts (not labour) is usually lower than it's more powerful relative. The production methods on both powerful and value based cars are equalising. Most companies for a long period had the same types of cars. Their racing line (challenger, charger, fairlane, nova, chevelle) were built to race, and the economy cars (tempo, escort, pinto, etc.) were mostly underengineered as the companies just didn't care to put the focus (no pun) or energy into cars that weren't selling well. Another post to a question I was reading is the fallacy that older cars are not made as well. I would have to disagree with that on one part. Many of the more popular models as stated above were made for racing. However 1960's and 1970's engineering was nowhere as good as it is now. You can install modern things like engines and gearboxes and get the car just as dependable if not more in ways than a new car. 28mpg hwy is not unreasonable to ask from say a new direct injected 5.0 mustang engine and 6spd gearbox.

Project car question!!!!!? I'm only 16 years old, and my dad and i decided to do a project car. right now i drive a 99olds cutlass, but that is going to be given to my younger siblings. My question is: What is the best classic car we could fix up? im looking for one i can drive alot with minimal problems, and one i can drive in the michigan WINTERS. so are there any classic cars that can drive well in the winter... maybe like a cuda? something super heavy? we were also looking at wranglers or possibly an amc eagle.(im only a teenager and price plays a part too)

Mini Cooper Classic 1990 should i buy? I have been looking around for a classic mini for a while as my first car now ive turned 17, i hav the money ready and i also have a part time job to help me with the finances invilved :) however... i was never able to find one local for the money i have got saved until yesterday, i went to the house were it was parked to ask the details they are; *1990 mini racing green 1275 engine (i think) *good condition (includign a sunroof lol) and original interior which is also in good condition *but 90,000 miles! they were asking £1200 for the asking price but they said the price is negotiable? i just want to know if this was a good buy and how long would you estimate the car would last me for if i did a maximum of 5000 miles a year? any answers would be appriciated :) as im determined to get a mini for my first car otherwise i would regret it :( many thanks, Donna

I want to build my first car; is it possible? Okay, so Im a 15 year old girl, and I want to build my first car. I have basic, knowledge on engines, and tires. ( I.e., how to change oil, change tires , and a couple of other miniscule things.) but thats it. I found a great car the other day at a junk yard. No rust, just typical wear and tear for cars that are out there. I do have a uncle whom, could help me occasionally along with my bestfriends brother who works on cars. but for the most part it would only be me. So I want to know, if it's possible for me to learn to build one; and to actually build it? and just how much would it be? Average Cost, with a simplistic engine, and paint job. ( The model is a classic ford) Please and ThankYou :] Also, if you have any websites, or books or tips in general on how to go about this hole thing, that would be great. What I meant by Build, was to "restore it" just, had a stupid "Forgot a word" type moment. My apologies!

help with the choice between two car .........? I am of it are of the USA, I finished to complete 18 years of age e I am in doubts which of these cars I must catch: 1997 528ia BMW or chevrolet caprice classic 1992 350 the BMW this good one, with 80.000 miles, only has that to change shocks and brake componenets… in my country Brazil the parts of the two ploughs faces…. the caprice is 5,7 v8 very nice, with 40 000 miles and must change the you only take off now I ask, which the best purchase? it remembers that the price is the same…. thanks will be answering

What type of mustang should I get? Ok so here is a little information on me. As of now i am 14 years old and going to be looking for my first car. yes i know its a little early but my dad thought we could work on a car with me so i understand how all the mechanical parts of the car work and so i would have a sick car once i get my license. As of right now i am thinking of a 1970 Mustang fastback, 1970 Mustang coupe, or a 2006 Mustang gt that i dont have to work on. We have a budget of $10,000 we would get the money from selling his hot rod. ( im not rich or all or to into my self ) i just want to know what one i should try to find my dad doesnt really like coupes but i bet he could make it sick . my dad has worked on classic cars and knows what hes doing

1972 Ford Thunderbird needs fuel pump replaced. Advice? A buddy of mine is giving me a 1972 Ford Thunderbird (for free! Why do all these people give me free classic cars? It's really uncanny!). There's a catch, however. I have to switch out the old fuel pump (he already got a new one, which he is giving me, I just have to switch out the old one). Aside from disabling the power to the pump, what else should I do before installing it? Also, my friend done went and got an Edelbrock four-barrel carburetor to put on there, only he was trying to put a spacer underneath it. The carburetor went on fine, but the threads of the engine block weren't big enough to put the spacer on. Can I just have the carb on without the spacer? He has new threads to put in, but the part that screws into the block on one of them is stripped and is harder to get off than a Catholic school girl's chastity belt. Also, some punk broke into the impound yard where it's parked (my friend works at a towing company, and he is keeping it there) and smashed a few windows on some of the impounded cars. The driver's door window (it's a coupe) was one of them. Currently I've jury rigged a complicated system of zip ties, tarps, and buoy line (from my dad's fishing trawler) to keep the inside dry, but I'm having a devil of a time finding a replacement window (72-73 is the year most muscle cars like the T-bird here were shunned in favor of smaller, more fuel efficient vehicles. Not very many exist today). Is there a place that can custom-fabricate a new one? I appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thanks! I meant disable the pump and de-pressurize the fuel in the lines before working on any fuel components. Doesn't matter if it's mechanical or electrical, they both have a driving force going to them, making them work, right?

Anyone know this car commercial? Desperate to find it!? Hey everyone, A few years back, there was a car commercial that featured two women talking at their high school reunion. The one was talking about her new car and how much cheaper hers was than the other girl's. The other girl then gets snotty and says something like "oh yeah, well I went to the prom with Bo ???". Then the one with the cheaper car points him out and says "you mean THAT Bo ???" and it shows this crazy fat guy with a mullet doing this ridiculous dance and then shouting "ELAINE!", showing that he was no longer the great catch he was in high school. The commercial featured a part of the song "I Ran" by a Flock of Seagulls at the end if this helps. Any help on this classic commercial would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone!

May i have your opinion on this please? theres a 1973 lincoln continental that im tryin to get and this is the listing for it: this lincoln has 77,000 orginal miles, new carb. , new beautiful blue with gold pearl paint job , white leather int., you can run her at a 100 mph and she wont even shake, you must see it to appreaciate, i started to restore it and ran of of money and time the car got to go or me !!!, the only thing wrong is it has a small leak from the gas tank ... and no a/c ..but just needs a condinsor i had it checked ...the price is 2000 obo how much to fix up the gas tank and condensor for the ac? how much should i give him to offset that cost? and more importantly please help me answer this question. my dad agreed to let me have one classic old school car until i move out and get my own place. so when i had 3 grand he went out to jacksonville for me to get a 200 ci 6 cylinder mustang coupe with a straight body with under 60,000 original miles.my problem is that i tore up the car too much and then i realized not only can i not continue( i only make 200 bucks a week), i was also foolish since by the time i did this, i replaced perfectly fine parts. the car was all original. i replaced the hood,one door( i have another new door), both fenders, and new carpet. the mustang is missing one door, a trunk, all the lights, seats, radio,mirrors,glass,dash pad,both bumpers,wipers, and headliner. this car is not legal to drive and i hope i can still squeeze a grand out of it despite all the parts missing. i still have most of the original and all of the new parts. do you think this could be possible. p.s. when i took the seats and carpet out i painted the floor with por 15 to stop the few places of rust. the other two spots of rust are on each side of the quarter panel, but other than that, this is a florida car with a straight body, little rust, runs and drives fine! i really wanna keep the mustang but i doubt my dad will let me keep two cars in his driveway, so i must choose and although i havent lost patience, i must open my eyes. i havent driven in 3 years since my dui and i still have to reinstate my license and put a down payment for insurance. i also realized this lincoln has a big block, which drives me crazy! XD. 1965 mustang

will you read this( please have patience), any advice is greatly appreciated? there is a 1973 lincoln continental that im tryin to get, this is the listing for it: this lincoln has 77,000 orginal miles, new carb. , new beautiful blue with gold pearl paint job , white leather int., you can run her at a 100 mph and she wont even shake, you must see it to appreaciate, i started to restore it and ran of of money and time the car got to go or me !!!, the only thing wrong is it has a small leak from the gas tank ... and no a/c ..but just needs a condinsor i had it checked ...the price is 2000 obo how much to fix up the gas tank and condensor for the ac? how much should i give him to offset that cost? and more importantly please help me answer this question. my dad agreed to let me have one classic old school car until i move out and get my own place. so when i had 3 grand he went out to jacksonville for me to get a 1965 200 cubic inch 6 cylinder mustang coupe with a straight body with under 60,000 original miles.my problem is that i tore up the car too much and then i realized not only can i not continue( i only make 200 bucks a week), i was also foolish since by the time i did this, i replaced perfectly fine parts. the car was all original. i replaced the hood,one door( i have another new door), both fenders, and new carpet. the mustang is missing one door, a trunk, all the lights, seats, radio,mirrors,glass,dash pad,both bumpers,wipers, and headliner. this car is not legal to drive and i hope i can still squeeze a grand out of it despite all the parts missing. i still have most of the original and all of the new parts. do you think this could be possible. p.s. when i took the seats and carpet out i painted the floor with por 15 to stop the few places of rust. the other two spots of rust are on each side of the quarter panel, but other than that, this is a florida car with a straight body, little rust, runs and drives fine! i really wanna keep the mustang but i doubt my dad will let me keep two cars in his driveway, so i must choose and although i havent lost patience, i must open my eyes. i havent driven in 3 years since my dui and i still have to reinstate my license and put a down payment for insurance. i also realized this lincoln has a big block, which drives me crazy! XD i aint trollin, im serious.......

may i have your opinion on this please? theres a 1973 lincoln continental that im lookin at and this is the listing for it: this lincoln has 77,000 orginal miles, new carb. , new beautiful blue with gold pearl paint job , white leather int., you can run her at a 100 mph and she wont even shake, you must see it to appreaciate, i started to restore it and ran of of money and time the car got to go or me !!!, the only thing wrong is it has a small leak from the gas tank ... and no a/c ..but just needs a condinsor i had it checked ...the price is 2000 obo how much to fix up the gas tank and condensor for the ac? how much should i give him to offset that cost? and more importantly please help me answer this question. my dad agreed to let me have one classic old school car until i move out and get my own place. so when i had 3 grand he went out to jacksonville for me to get a 200 ci 6 cylinder mustang coupe with a straight body with under 60,000 original miles.my problem is that i tore up the car too much and then i realized not only can i not continue( i only make 200 bucks a week), i was also foolish since by the time i did this, i replaced perfectly fine parts. the car was all original. i replaced the hood,one door( i have another new door), both fenders, and new carpet. the mustang is missing one door, a trunk, all the lights, seats, radio,mirrors,glass,dash pad,both bumpers,wipers, and headliner. this car is not legal to drive and i hope i can still squeeze a grand out of it despite all the parts missing. i still have most of the original and all of the new parts. do you think this could be possible. p.s. when i took the seats and carpet out i painted the floor with por 15 to stop the few places of rust. the other two spots of rust are on each side of the quarter panel, but other than that, this is a florida car with a straight body, little rust, runs and drives fine! i really wanna keep the mustang but i doubt my dad will let me keep two cars in his driveway, so i must choose and although i havent lost patience, i must open my eyes. i havent driven in 3 years since my dui and i still have to reinstate my license and put a down payment for insurance. i also realized this lincoln has a big block, which drives me crazy! XD.

so just brought a 1969 firebird how do i prevent the rust/cancer from spreding? finally got myself a classic car to fix up was aiming for a 65 or 66 mustang but everyone seems to have one these days then i stumbled upon a 1969 pontiac firebird,the price was right and the body is in exceptional condition and after seeing some pics of other 69's on the net i just couldn't resist,its a project car so between time and money it might take about 2 years before it's ready to take on the road,so body's in exceptional condition as i mentioned but theres a little rust /cancer on the top (outside only) any advise on how to stop it from spreading and keeping under control while car is being restored would be appreciated thanks never fixed up a classic before so if you know any sites or resources where i can find parts and accessories that would also be appreciated thanks

how do I beome less selfish with my father in laws death? My Father in law died this past June and all I have tried to be was supportive of my husband and listened when he needs to talk. I have been with him every weekend he was clearing his dads stuff out and supporting him with all the drama of the stepmom and his mom with life insurance and personal belonging issues.... I have been trying to do everything I can to keep kim happy in this very tough time for him. I took him out in a limo one night, basically have dropped my whole life to try and give what he needed. Yesterday was our 2 year wedding anniversery. This past weekend I surprised him with a (hoping to be romantic) weekend getaway and all he wanted to do was sit around, watch tv, and go shopping at sporting good stores even though we were at one of the most beautiful lakes and areas around. I let him do that, trying to just give him what he wanted again! Yesterday, I washed his classic car and dressed it up like it was on our weeding day so we could take it to dinner that I also surprised him with. It was at his moms so he didnt see it when he got home. When he got home, I had set up in the bedroom a cake that i had to look like our wedding cake, with rose petals and wine, and played our wedding song and asked him to dance. he stood there with a frown the whole time. At the end of the song, I asked what was wrong. He said the cake reminded him of his dad, cause his dad kept our top layer in his freezer for the 1st year.... I WANTED THE CAKE TO REMIND HIM OF ME AND OUR SUPPOSEDLY HAPPY MARRIAGE!!! So That was part 1. Then he takes of his uniform and puts on a collared shirt and jeans(he usually just wears tshirts)... I ask him why he is putting that shirt on. He tels me so he'll be ready when I take him to dinner... he never knew about dinner plans. no one knew. It was a surprise. He just expected I would!! So I blindfold him and put him in my car to take him to his moms to see his car.. The first thing he says is "oh theres water spots on the hood. The inside is a mess"... Um excuse me??? I spent an hour detailing it and dressing it up... Basically he didnt appreciate anything I did this whole week for him, and doesnt seem to realize I'm going through a hard time as well, dealing with his fathers death, him, and other family members additudes. I spent almost the whole day crying out loud in the car to myself cause I felt like I wasted all this time trying to make him happy and celebrate our anniversery. I'm frious that all he thinks about when he sees our wedding cake is his dad. Why am I so selfish and how can I understand the terrible feelings he seems to be having???? sorry this is so long! He refuses to go to counseling. I understand he must be going through a very hard time, I don't need my father to die to realize that. I just dont want to feel selfish and want him to think of me on our anniversery.

Chrome Plated Rods?!? (Engine Rods)? okay, I saw the movie Grease recently on TV, not the first time (I'm 25 years-old, I watched it like 5 times IN school before for whatever reason) that being all stated, in the song "Go Grease Lightening, you're tearing up the Quarter Mile"...John Travolta sings the Lyrics "...& Chrome Plated Rods, Oh Yeah!!" now, I was raised helping my dad restore & then work on and fix classic cars, my mom's '55 Chevy, that was the 1st one, his 1968 Plymouth Road Runner which has a 426 Hemi (NOT a 426 Wedge...a '426 Wedge' Has Wedge Shaped Combustion Chambers, not Hemispherical Combustion Chambers; Hence "Hemi", but now I'm getting off topic).....What could POSSIBLY be the use for Chrome Plate Rods, OF COURSE UNDERSTANDING, That Rods are what Connect the Pistons to the Crankshaft of an internal combustion engine....The only thing I could think of would be to show wear more easily...but if you're running a motor in such a way that you need to have the piston rods show where the stress is affecting them most...then you should probably switch to a car with a Rotary Engine...in a Rotary Engine, there's no Pistons to do stuff like that & there's no Moving Parts that change direction in a Rotary Engine...

What should I do about my divorce? I have several questions concerning a divorce I am going through. If anyone is an attorney, or has legal or divorce experience, that would be great. I feel and have been told that our divorce should be very simple- we were married for just over a year, both of us our college students, no kids, no real estate. We acquired only a few items during our marriage. The day we split up, my wife drained our savings account, not a ton of money, but still relatively a lot for college kids (around $4500.) Now, I have recieved her divorce paperwork, and am preparing my answer. She is asking that I help pay the remainder of the lease in the apartment we were in, even though she is the only one living there. Also, she is asking for $400 dollars a month alimony. I've spoken with a lawyer and he said that if this were to make it to court (let's hope it doesn't) he would be very suprised if a judge ordered alimony in a case like this- not kids, we both are in school, only married a year. Also, he said it is unlikely that i would be required to help pay where she is living, and that a judge would rule that that money she took be split up. I'm hoping if her and I cannot work this out between ourselve that a mediator can. Would a mediator tell her that it is not likely she will get alimony? I would love to keep this out of court, and think that with how simple and low-key it is, we should be able to do that. Also, I have a classic car I've had since I was sixteen that I rebuilt with my father- she put that she wants part of that. My lawyer told me there's no way, because it was mine long before she came into the picture, and since we were married such a short duration, it has not become a marital asset. Anyway, sorry to be so longwinded, I just really would like some opinions and some clarity on this subject, thank you.

What do you think of my short story? (its pretty short so it won't take long to read!) Creases in Jeans They say when a Granma enters the door, discipline flies out the window but that is merely saying the least in my daughter’s household. When Gran comes to stay, tummies are filled with delicious home made cookies, beds are made and all stress vanishes, in fact so does the huge stacks of dishes along with the endless piles of laundry! You would think 20 years of parenting and my job is complete. Children- just one more thing ticked of on life’s shopping list. 20 years filled with smelly nappies, trips to the principals office and wild screaming matches with argumentative teenagers and my not-so-darling daughter is still putting her hands out for eternal favours. Theres no question about it, it is time for revenge. Why do grandparents get on so well with their grandkids? Simple, they share a common enemy. Today that enemy is going to face her biggest showdown yet. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The iron hissed like an angry snake as it slithered across the overly expensive pair of Levi boot leg jeans. My grand kids, shoulder to shoulder, kneeling on back of the couch, giggled eagerly as I folded the jeans. Carefully, I positioned them in a perfectly symmetrical square on top of of my daughter’s huge pile of ironed clothes.Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I joined my grand kids on the back of the couch, all eyes in the room fixed on the wall clock. “When mom gets home,” I instructed them, “Look normal and try not to laugh”. Of course I knew that was impossible, but where’s the fun in being a kid with out false expectations? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Car wheels clattered over the pebbly driveway. My precious daughter had arrived home from her all-day shopping trip. The door handle creaked open. I twitched my hand upwards, and as we’d planned the children followed the signal and made to be busy. “Hi Mum” they chorused as she entered the room. I clung on to my walking stick, looking as frail as ever as the ice cold she gave to the pile of washing reflected around the room. She ran her long painted finger nail along the crease in the middle of the jeans. She then gave one of "those" looks that too fully appreciate you have to see with your own eyes. It was of bitter annoyance blanketed in complete helplessness. I knew when the corner of her lips twitched upwards and she gave me the classic put on smile, followed by the mumbled words “Thanks for the ironing Jan”, my role as grandma would never be abused again. It was official; plan “Creases in Jeans” was a success. Any constructive critisism?? Don't be afraid to be completly critical. It was for english and it only took me 45 minutes. Also how old would you expect the person who wrote it too be (me)? One more thing, I don't really like the "Tick tock" parts, can you think of anything to replace them. Thanks so much for all the help! Thanks so much! i mean ice cold glare

Good Racing Video Games? I own many racing games for PC, Playstation 2 and Xbox 360, games such as the Full midnight Club series and many Need For Speed games, Forza, Test drive Unlimited and many others. I'm wondering why all the games are so limited, everytime i play one game it feels like the developers leave out key parts and its weaknesses are another games strengths and vise versa, For instance the Midnight Club Series has great customisable options, considerable better than the Need For Speed Series, though Need For Speed has much more realistic car handling. I'm wondering why the games produced by each series still have these problems and why can't a game be created that has great realism and customisation options. The car lists are usualy quite small considering all the racing games that have been released you'd think that they'd build upon it and expanding it. That was an example, its's hard to explain as i said. I know you can just say "go make your own game then if you can do better" But i don't know why a racing game can't have a large car list, realistic car handling and feeling and have good customisation options? A great racing game would most likely be online, you would have a great selection of cars, some you can purchase from the start, some you can buy when you progress through the game, some only if you say achieve a special score or do something unique. You'd start with an old "bomb" car, something like an old honda civic gl or a hyundai xcel and youd work your way up to the powerful supercars such as the Koenigsegg CCX or Saleen s7. The game would have you enter as just a random person who wants to race, youd eventualy start making friends, enemies and throughout the game friends would become enemies and some enemies would become friends, people would betray you and you betray them. The game could have you racing in both legal motorsport and illegal street racing. Other modes such as drifting, drag, first to the point, cross country racing etc. Even some extreme things such as smashing up a car, somehow preventing an enemy from winning a race or stealing cars. You'd eventualy start racing the best people until you meet the best racer in the world, the perfect driver and they would have some realy fast, powerful car, it would be just you and them alone competeing for the title of the best and it would be almost impossible to beat them, but you would feel like you accomplished something great from beating them. Car customisation should be details down to trim on your car, colour of headlights, types of pedals, how pumped up your tyres are etc. and instead of the "level 2 upgrade" you should be able to install a custom flywheel and choose the brand (in accordance to the brands price and performance in real life) and choose how you want it installed. As said it should have a huge car list with regular downloadable content such as more cars and race courses, cars should include Classic, Import, Supercars, Luxury, Racing vehicles, Muscle cars, motorcycles, maybe even SUVS and off road vehicles, as well as concept ofcourse. Online racers could either join a server where you can cruise, race in an open world while other people drive around (during your race so you might crash into free roaming people as you race) or closed where you can only interact with people your racing. So i'm sure this is the nerdiest and pointless thing ever written/typed but i'm sure it's not that hard for a company to actualy spend over 1 year making a game (even if it took 5 years) to make a game like this, it's not like it wouldn't be a success. I know there are things such as liscensing etc. but i'm sure thats a drop in the ocean for the money that they'd rake in. Also i don't think graphics matter, the graphics of Need For Speed Most Wanted are 2005 but they still look fine and i'm sure anyone could play with those, for anyone saying the graphics of the game would end up being outdated by the time it's released. Thoughts etc. would be nice

Any advice on this hobby I'd like to try? I'm going to be 18 next year, I've loved cars all my life. I was thinking about saving up and next year buying an old car pre '72 for tax exemption for restoration. I'd love to be able to fix one up and take it along to rallies and fares. My father wanted me to follow suit and get an old Land Rover like he did. But I think even on classic insurance that will be a bit expensive, yet it would be cheap to fix as the parts are everywhere. I was thinking about an old Mini. Anybody else done this, anybody with advice on which car I should use as a project, preferable a British Classic. Must be tax exempt. By the way I'm from the UK

It's been 30 years since Star Wars came out. Still a junkie or are you over it? I was just a little over 4 years old when the original Star Wars came out. To me Star Wars is as much a part of American culture as apple pie, classic cars, and baseball. But at the same time, Star Wars has still been little more than a movie to me. I don't go to conventions, I don't read every thing Star Wars that exists, and I certainly can't recite every line of the movies. That being said, I was pretty psyched to hear about the Star Wars postage stamps and you can bet I'll be getting more than one sheet to hermetically seal. I have to admit my enthusiasim for Star Wars has diminished in recent years. Probably because the prequels were not as good as the originals - although I still accept them as they are an enjoy them. And I think part is because there is nothing else to look forward to. So I'm curious, what does Star Wars mean to you today? And did the prequels have any effect on your overall feeling about the franchise?

Need advice on a family situation that now involves attorneys.? My grandmother has been stuck in a nursing home even though she probably doesn't need one. My dad S, is the oldest with 3 siblings. About a year ago they all went to court because the middle brother M wanted a guardian. My dad's theory was that there should be a third party handling the money since there is over $10,000 a month in oil royalties that is supposed to be going to her. M hired a very expensive attorney to fight to retain custody, and I should mention that he and his wife swindled her mother and 2 brothers out of a lot of money and she dies penniless, literally. M does not care about his mother, he has called her a stupid B****, told her he wishes she would just die already, and last week it got very cold and he would not even spend $20 on a blanket for her. He has to drive about 35 miles to see her and brings her $15 a month to get a perm, no other money. Every trip he charges the estate about $750 to see her. What concerns me is that my dad's youngest brother D took all of my grandpa's classic cars after he died and retitled them in his name. My dad's sister G stole tons of stuff from the house, as well as her kids. And M stole the oil royalties. G has a restraining order against her for abusing my grandmother by nailing her room shut and locking her in rooms. From what my mother tells me, the police refused to prosecute, and that doesn't surprise me, D seems to be a loudmouth always in trouble with the law and his son is a 10 time loser and convicted sex offender. It seems like everyone is crooked up there, and I can't figure out why the police won't prossecute even though there is proof that she has violated the restraining order multiple times. Everyone is hiring attorneys except my parents and is now pushing to probate my grand dad's will, why? Also the attorney they have is as old as my great grandmother, and is always demanding more money but keeps delaying the court date. There was supposed to be an emergency hearing to remove M as guardian and instate my dad in March of 2008, then May, then July, then September, and is now on for January 30, 2009, an EMERGENCY hearing taking 10 months? Also M is givng my grandmother pills that no one knows what they are as well as giving her cold suppresants that her doctor has specifically said could kill her. What can we do? It seems like my mother is part of the problem too, telling my fiance that she regrets meeting my dad and how horrible his family is (however hers is worse), and the other day she said that it would be nice to have only even $50,000 of her money. HELP PLEASE!!

1970 chevelle restoration? I am in the process of restoring my 1970 Chevelle Malibu 307. It came with the fender trim that runs along the peak of the fender from the cowl to the front of the fender... a couple years back the trim was stolen off of the right side. I have gone to Classic Industries, Year One, SS 396 and a bunch of other websites looking for this part. And I can't find it. I have only seen maybe 3 or 4 other chevelles with this trim piece and all of them were 1970 Malibu 307's. So can anybody help me find this piece it is the one piece I need to restore my car to 100% completely stock condition. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Do you get enlightened from Classic Rock music? About 5 years ago, I heard Sgt. Pepper and from then my life was changed. I listened to White album next, abbey road, rubber soul, etc in a particular order and then after them I found The Who and listened to Tommy. This led into me finding Led Zeppelin (and many bands in between, Queen, CCR, Bob Dylan) which led to me now being at The Doors. I would become "obsessed" with each song, disecting it second by second, for each band. I would analyze each part of the song, what made it great why its great and how it can say so much. I wouldnt force myself to do it, it was just natural I spend every second, literally, of the day either haivng a song by one of these bands in my head. Also, I am always listening to it, really loud in my car. AND, I am usually super high too but not to where I am fucked up but I literally feel Enlightened. ALSO...listening to these artists made me pick up the guitar 5 years ago and now I can play (at an expert level) Drums, Guitar, Mandolin, Piano, and many other instruments. Some, I will pick up for the first time and learn it within 5 minutes. I feel I am alot smarter then everyone and that I can read people incredibly well. I want to know if I have become enlightened by constantly listening to these life changing bands every second of the day..I am 99.9% sure I have but I want to know the information on what has happened to me in my life or if this is a common thing between people listening to these.

Need to change a phrase in my short story? So heres the story... The Creased Jeans They say when a Granma enters the door, discipline flies out the window but that is merely saying the least in my daughter’s household. When Gran comes to stay, tummies are filled with delicious home made cookies, beds are made and all stress vanishes, in fact so does the huge stacks of dishes along with the endless piles of laundry! You would think 20 years of parenting and my job is complete. Children- just one more thing ticked of on life’s shopping list. 20 years filled with smelly nappies, trips to the principals office and wild screaming matches with argumentative teenagers and my not-so-darling daughter is still putting her hands out for eternal favours. Theres no question about it, it is time for revenge. Why do grandparents get on so well with their grandkids? Simple, they share a common enemy. Today that enemy is going to face her biggest showdown yet. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The iron hissed like an angry snake as it slithered across the overly expensive pair of Levi boot leg jeans. My grand kids, shoulder to shoulder, kneeling on back of the couch, giggled eagerly as I folded the jeans. Carefully, I positioned them in a perfectly symmetrical square on top of of my daughter’s huge pile of ironed clothes.Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I joined my grand kids on the back of the couch, all eyes in the room fixed on the wall clock. “When mom gets home,” I instructed them, “Look normal and try not to laugh”. Of course I knew that was impossible, but where’s the fun in being a kid with out false expectations? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Car wheels clattered over the pebbly driveway. My precious daughter had arrived home from her all-day shopping trip. The door handle creaked open. I twitched my hand upwards, and as we’d planned the children followed the signal and made to be busy. “Hi Mum” they chorused as she entered the room. I clung on to my walking stick, looking as frail as ever as the ice cold stare she gave to the pile of washing reflected around the room. She ran her long painted finger nail along the crease in the middle of the jeans. She then gave one of "those" looks that too fully appreciate you have to see with your own eyes. It was of bitter annoyance blanketed in complete helplessness. I knew when the corner of her lips twitched upwards and she gave me the classic put on smile, followed by the mumbled words “Thanks for the ironing Jan”, my role as grandma would never be abused again. It was official; plan “Creases in Jeans” was a success. I showed the story to my teacher and she said the 'tick tock' parts detracted from the rest of the story as they sounded too cliche (i'm pretty sure thats cliche like something she'd read many times before. She said a catchy sentence or something else would be much better but i'm stuck for ideas. So yeah any ideas??? Also any other constructive critisism would be greatly appreciated?? Thanks so much!

How should the rest of this story go ?! I NEED IDEAS PLEASE ! :) Okay, so I'm only 15. but I LOVE to write.. I will post the part i've already written at the end if you would like to read but here's the idea.. there's two sisters, Emma 16 and Abby 18 who find a message in a bottle on Huntington beach where they live, in California. I want it to be similar to the idea of "13 little blue envelopes" if you're familiar with that. Basically I want the message to have something simple that they have to find out that sends them to another country and then that clue leads them to another clue and that clue leads to another and so on and so fourth.. catch my drift ? so what should the first clue say ?? :) or at least what country should it lead them to first ?? and any other suggestions you have are welcomed & appreciated :) :) PART OF THE STORY I HAVE WRITTEN ALREADY: My little sister and I sat out in the sun, the waves crashing and foaming against our sun kissed legs. I laughed at her sunglasses tan, and she laughed at how I snorted when I laughed too hard. Every time a wave would go out, we would look for a pretty shell or two. We had a collection forming on our towel a little farther up the beach. This is how we spent just about every summer day. We were true California girls. Another wave crashed and went out. Something caught the sun and shined in the corner of my eye as the ocean sat still for a split second. “Hey Em, did you see that?” “See what?” She said obliviously. “I’ll be right back” I ran into the water until it was waist high and swam out about 100 feet or so. Then I saw it. A greenish piece of glass. I swam over to it, fighting against the massive waves. I grabbed it, not stopping to inspect what I had found in the deep water. I swam vigorously back to the shore, anxious to see what I had found. A bottle. A message in a bottle. I couldn’t believe it. “ABIGAIL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?! A MESSAGE IN A FREAKIN’ BOTTLE. A REAL MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE!” We screamed and laughed and practically convulsed in the sand. We drew attention from all the surfer guys, which we didn’t exactly mind. “Open it, open it! Hurry up Abby, jeez!” One problem. The bottle was sealed like a wine bottle, with a cork in the top making it watertight for its long journey. Well I’m not exactly Mary Poppins; I don’t carry around random objects like corkscrews and I don’t carry pocketknives because I’m afraid I’ll forget it’s in my purse and bring it into school. So we were stuck. I could see the paper rolled up in the bottom, dangling itself in front of my face like a pork chop in front of a dog. I was so eager to open it and figure out the secret. We gathered our shell collection, blankets, towels, and skim boards and headed for my car. I told you we were true California girls, and I’ve got the car to prove it. We threw our boards on the rack up top and climbed into my 1949 Ford Woody Station Wagon, headed for the local 7-11. “What do you think it says Em?” I questioned as I made a sharp right turn into the last parking space at the rundown gas station. “Probably just a kid messing around or something.” That was her opinion. I, however, had higher expectations for my discovery. I loved a good adventure and that adrenaline rush you get when you can feel that one is about to start. We rolled up the windows by the old-fashioned cranks and got out of the car. Bells chimed as we walked through the door and I was greeted by a friendly face, Mike from my third period algebra class senior year. I graduated this past year, making me 18. “Hey Abby, lookin’ good.” And the wink, the classic, cliché, oh so corny line and a wink. I was used to getting hit on. I was tan, tall, skinny, and had long blonde hair. I was practically Cali-Surfer Barbie. My sister was basically my spitting image, and only two years younger. Some people think we’re twins, and we basically are. But then again, I’m more like her mother. It’s a complicated story, we’ll get into it later. “Ha-ha, cute Mike, real cute. Say, you got any corkscrews?” “Corkscrews? Aren’t you a little young for that?” “No, no, no. Me and Em found a message in a bottle over at Huntington Beach.” “Oh yeah, here. On the house, as long as you’ll call me later?” “Sure Mike whatever you say,” I replied as he slipped a sky blue corkscrew and a scrap of paper into my hand. Emily snickered behind her hand at the ridiculousness of Mike’s pick-up techniques. The second the door closed behind us we burst out laughing. “ She shoots…” I said in my best commentator voice as I aimed for the garbage, using Mike’s number as my basketball “…aaaand BALLLIN’!” I struggled with the corkscrew as me and Em sat in anticipation. I twisted and pulled as hard as I could and finally heard a loud pop noise as I extracted the cork very carefully. I turned the bottle upside down and shook it as hard as I could, trying to get the note out. The neck of the bottle was too thin and the not got stuck. Again, our adventure came to a screeching halt. “Emma, will you go get me a wire coat hanger?” “Why?” “Just do it, okay?” I was starting to get frustrated, eager to know what the note said.

Automotive Upholstery Business Idea? Hi, I work as an upholsterer doing to interior of trucks. We do cab and sleeper doors, cab and sleeper roof, wall paneling etc. but not seats. Over the last few years I've had a couple of mates come to me and ask me too trim up new front door and back paneling. One was a classic Mini and the other an EJ Holden. Both as part of restoration projects, but the panels I did were of my own design. I did both jobs and they were both happy with the results, but the question arose both times and a couple since...Why dont you start you own business doing this? Im now entertaining the idea. Am thinking small, just me and maybe one other person. Basically Im thinking of a bit of a niche business that just makes interior door paneling and back paneling for classic cars (50's - 70's (holdens, mini's, vw beetles, etc)). Just paneling, no seats. I will provide flexibility for customers by allowing them to either choose to restore back to original, choose from a set list of my standard designs or design their own. The customer will have complete flexibility and control in design and color and materials etc. I also know that there are clubs and shows dedicated to cars like the Mini and Classic Holdens in my area, so I know its somewhat popular but just how much I dont know, an I also I figure these would be great places to try and get customers from. If I could show one of my interiors in one of the cars at a show, for example, that would be a great advertisement. Thats it in a nutshell. So is there any merit to the idea? Any aspects that should be changed? Or maybe abandon the idea all together if its not workable. At the most basic level, is this workable? Do you think there would be enough of a market out there for this type of thing? Im based in Melbourne's East but would be willing to relocate anywhere in Australia to find the right market. I have put a lot more detailed thought into certain aspects than the above would indicate but I didnt want to go into too much detail here, Im just floating the general idea because if the general idea doesnt work then the details dont matter. Dont hold back In your reply's. Im a grown up, I can take the criticism....but Im asking a question on the internet, Im sure I dont have to state that, haha.

Should I Buy a Rolex Watch? I'm only 21 years old, but hear me out. I've loved watches since I was little and have dreamed of buying and owning a classic watch. Last year, I bought stock in ford motor company for peanuts, and sold it two weeks ago for about 20 grand. I am in school on 100 percent academic scholarship, i pay no rent, no books, no nothing. I have a car paid for free and clear. I'll be going to law school next year. My dad is a prominent lawyer, I've grown up with every advantage and enjoy a very good lifestyle (amazing vacations, nice vacation home, nice meals, etc) and I appreciate every minute of it. However, these are all the fruits of someone else's labour. This watch would be mine. A treasured item paid for with my own money. In a few years, I'll have tons of bills and responsibilities and I fear this is the only time for a long while when i'll be able to justify spending 5 grand on a watch. Stainless steel black Submariner with Date is the watch i'm going to get. A timeless classic worn by men I admire for decades (including Sean Connery as James Bond). It will never go out of style, its made with impeccable quality, it will last until the day I die. I can give it to my son (if I have one) when I leave this earth. And it holds its value. If i find myself in a bind in 10 years I could easily, easily sell it for the same if not more than I paid (I will never part with this watch however). BTW, I have a job driving a forklift truck at a warehouse. I make about $700 a week during the summer when i'm not in school and about $200 a week working part time while i'm in school. That was alot, I hope you read all of it. Thanks for your help.

Should I buy a Rolex? I'm only 21 years old, but hear me out. I've loved watches since I was little and have dreamed of buying and owning a classic watch. Last year, I bought stock in ford motor company for peanuts, and sold it two weeks ago for about 20 grand. I am in school on 100 percent academic scholarship, i pay no rent, no books, no nothing. I have a car paid for free and clear. I'll be going to law school next year. My dad is a prominent lawyer, I've grown up with every advantage and enjoy a very good lifestyle (amazing vacations, nice vacation home, nice meals, etc) and I appreciate every minute of it. However, these are all the fruits of someone else's labour. This watch would be mine. A treasured item paid for with my own money. In a few years, I'll have tons of bills and responsibilities and I fear this is the only time for a long while when i'll be able to justify spending 5 grand on a watch. Stainless steel black Submariner with Date is the watch i'm going to get. A timeless classic worn by men I admire for decades (including Sean Connery as James Bond). It will never go out of style, its made with impeccable quality, it will last until the day I die. I can give it to my son (if I have one) when I leave this earth. And it holds its value. If i find myself in a bind in 10 years I could easily, easily sell it for the same if not more than I paid (I will never part with this watch however). That was alot, I hope you read all of it. Thanks for your help.

Getting two male dogs to live comfortably in a household together? We have a modest-sized 10-year old German Shepherd male, neutered. He is a fairly classic German Shepherd in temperament; he is extremely intelligent, but prone to be introverted and suspicious of other dogs as well as humans, yet this goes alongside of his extreme loyalty to us, his family, if makes him a little overprotective of us. He is a very gentle dog actually, and has never hurt another thing, and is clearly not an Alpha, we rescued him from ARF, and he was quiet and passive around other dogs in that environment, and rather malnourished from always shyly waiting until every one else was finished before he ate his food! He's been an "only child" with us for several years since then, we try to live a quiet life, and he has never had to interact with other dogs intimately, with one exception being a female labrador puppy of a family member who lived with us for awhile, whom he was patient with and not aggressive, though he obvious established himself as the leader of the two. He is OK with dogs and people at a distance, on a walk in the park, down the street or through the garden, but he can be a little tense of personality, though he is more contained than aggressive, he just doesn't like for others until he knows them well, be they human or animal, to invade his space, especially by surprise- people coming right up on him and trying to interact for example. He will bark at first when he is being disturbed, though he is also an obedient dog and can be controlled. We have just adopted a beautiful runt of a Pyrenees from The Humane Society, he is little over 2-years old and also neutered, and a very polite dog, bright and happy. He was hit by car once which gives him a permanent hip problem however. I think his disability and our first dog's age may work to our advantage, they're not so much fighters. Our new friend is also a temperate, relaxed dog, he is self-possessed, but enjoys attention from people. His hip makes it unlikely that he was an alpha dog in a pack as well. But while he does not seek confrontation, he is assertive, and when barked at or lunged for he reacts, he alerts, growls etc. We want our two dogs to live together like brothers... or at least roommates, we're not going to let anyone get hurt. We believe that both dogs are naturally intelligent enough, of healthy enough personalities and fairly-trained enough that this should be able to happen. But so far its been two full days and we've had mixed success and are looking for any insights you may have to keep us on the right path. We first introduced our Pyrenees to our Shepherd through the backyard fence he was relaxing in. Both dogs were curious but not aggressive at first. However there are other nearby dogs that started barking, which excited our Shepherd and he barked quite a bit at him, the Pyrenees was vigilant but did not return any aggression. We keep the dogs in separate parts of the house for now, but take them on daily walks together, where they have basically done very well. And neither dogs marks their territory in the house. We did have a relapse when the German Shepherd came inside before he was supposed to and ended up in the kitchen with the Pyrenees, which took them both surprise. They simply examined each other at first until outside disturbances occurred, lots of noise, and he lunged for the Pyrenees, but we kept them from touching. Since then however we've gone on picnics with them together and walked some, they walk side-by-side without any effects. They listen to us and will behave, but don't like each other. They will turn away from each other, and each ignore the other dog's presence. However, we need them to be civil when we are not around as well. The German shepherd also is ill-tempered when the Pyrenees tries to smell him and get to know him, he will reject him or try to assert his dominance, mounting him for example. But there have been no fights yet, but the Pyrenees did bark without provocation at the the Shepherd through the door, once when they were in separate rooms. How can you help us improve the situation? Personal experiences socializing dogs either from individuals or professionals would be especially appreciate. Thank you, SAM

Why are celebrities used in animated movies? Besides helping "sell" movies with name appeal, why are celebrities used for voice work in animated movies? Consider this: 1. Celebrity voices, mostly, are not unique. For every Jack Nicholson or Morgan Freeman- who do have unique voices- there are actors with totally "forgettable" voices like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. Sometimes you can sort of recognize their voices, but who cares? It's one thing to see Brad Pitt "act" and another to hear his rather mundane, boring, "average" voice. 2. Voice actors- so-called "voice chasers"- are truly talented individuals who have lent their voices to numerous animated shows and movies. In years past, it was almost all professional voice actors who played the parts in classic animated movies, or actors specifically chosen for their unique voice talents. For example, compare the classic Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Pinocchio, with the modern 'Rango' or 'Cars.' The "modern" movies consist almost entirely of celebrity voice work, all mostly forgettable. Again, I realize that studios want to pitch animated movies by claiming they "star" A list celebrities like Pitt and Depp. But save for that technical fact, why would one really care to "hear" a celebrity with an average, not very distinct or interesting voice, over an actually vocally talented voice actor? (And don't voice actors have a role anymore?) "me" you are an idiot. I have yet to read a coherent, concise answer.

decisions decision!!!!!!!!? I have decided now that my car insurance has come right down that i will spoil myself. Now for the people that know me I'am a complete car nut and, have petrol running through my veins. So this is the question do i go old school and buy myself a classic Sierra cosworth for some retro respect? or do i turn to the darkside and go for an impreza. I'm in a pickle especially with fuel prices the way they are however, if i don't get one now i never will as my next proper car will be a range rover. So opinions please should i go for the all out classic and loved by all that is the Cozzie or do i get the fast and furious inspiring Scooby? I know price for parts and potential problems with both (I was a mechanic for ten years) so i just want your opinions on the cars Themselves. Your most valued opinions please......... behave filya! chav i'm deffo not they can only stretch to a nova or astra if they flush! Kev the escort is too much like a brick and after the engine change over to smaller turbo and coil pack its not worth trying to improve the performance. The cosworth has more racing pedigree than what a lot of people give it credit for over 40 formula 1 wins they now build most of the engines in aston martins and lambo's i said retro respect mate not respect for me no car will give you respect you have to respect the car or it will kill you and i would hardly call either of them a town car. how many town cars do you know that after spending 7k on a decent one and then say another 6k on the engine will get you to 180mph not any i can think of!!! The cozzie will let you do that though. chuck norris has never heard of track days obviously!!!! so i sleep a lot i have a veccy sri 140 at the minute but sick of the sensor problems you forgot the scooby's triple shell bearing problems as well. Merovingian, both the tickford and brooklands capri are like rocking horse $hit!!!!!

what muscle care is for me? Hello i am 16 (turning 17 in July) and i am looking into restoring a muscle car with my dad or just getting a working one to customize over time. my question is what car should i get? i know i would like one of the classic muscles from back in the day 60-88 is my years. i am looking for one fast and reliable, one that looks more powerful than flashy such as 71 skylark 82 Camaro, a car that can be easily customized (i can easily find the parts without looking everywhere and paying top dollar.), please post with exact make and model, and pros and cons, thankyou what i am wanting to do is make a muscle car able to race. not really a drag car tho.

Living with a very sensitive mum.... any advice? I'm a 25 year old independent guy, I work full time, pay housekeeping and run my own car. I moved back home just over a year ago after I split with my then girlfriend and a year before that my father sadly passed away. I get on well with my mum, but since I've met my current girlfriend, things have been very difficult. My mum doesn't have much family where we live and never bothered to make or keep many friends as she always had my dad, the fact that I don't have any brothers or sisters makes matters worse. Whenever I try and spend time with my gf, mum is always blowing up, telling me how I managed to screw up my last relationship and how this one will end (before it's even started!), which is very disheartening. Talking to her about it just ISN'T an option unfortunately, I've tried countless times to discuss (not argue, I hate arguments) with her why she feels the need to shoot me down all the time but it always ends in tears, her shouting and telling me how dad never treated her this way, how she doesn't need the stress and ends normally with her classic line "do what you like, I don't care anymore" attitude, which is pointless because I can't just go off and relax then, which I think she knows. Basically, I'm absolutely dreading the day I want to move out and re-start my own life! Part of me thinks "she won't make friends and I don't want to end up a 40-something loner when she's gone, I want to live my life", while the other part feels nothing but guilt and tries to be the good son. I feel trapped every way I turn. Sorry to go on for so long, but if anyone has any advice or is in a similar situation I'd love to hear from you.

VIZ Letters? Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. Ben Hunt The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish they'd make their minds up. John 'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. Colin Hill I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. L Palmer, London The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I. P Boddington, Ringway Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? P, Leeds On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '<unt'. Not only was I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? Noel, Leeds My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? Alun Daniel I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both. Alan Thakray Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original? On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road Alan J., London Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars. T Barnham, London Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on muslim cleric Abu Hamsa. Les, Barnsley How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor. Reg Ashcroft, Bradford The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the poor sods? John Campbell, e-mail Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. Mike Woods, e-mail With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the last time he played hide and seek with them. Shuggie, e-mail Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of humour. Chris Scaife, Jesmond I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much, but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? Dave Owen, Edinburgh I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths. Tripod I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs. Stan What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. Thomas J

What do you think of these characters? I want to write a story based around these characters. Daniel Patrick "Danny" MacMillan - A 16 year old guy who was born in Scotland, but moved to the U.S. at the age of 2, because his mother needed a better job. His father left right after his mother got pregnant, and went to the U.S. and got another woman pregnant and she had a girl named Alanna. Danny never met her, but does know that she exists. Kam & Rebecca are his best friends. He secretly like Sarah. He sings well, and has a feel for a classic rock/jazz type of music. He's taken piano lessons since age 7. His eyes are bright green and he has dark brown hair. Usually seen wearing just the average shorts & T-shirt. He now resides in Seattle, WA and is enrolled in a performing arts called West Hills School Of The Arts, and is in the competition choir. He speaks both Scottish & English. His dream is to be a professional actor/singer. Rebecca Hope Evans - A 16 year old girl who originally lived in New York City, and performed in many amateur shows there, but her parents lost their jobs during the recession and she moved to Seattle to live with her grandparents at age 14. She quickly became attached to Danny & Kam. She's secretly in love with Danny. She has blue eyes and black hair. She very rarely sings anything but songs from Broadway. It is her dream to return to NYC and become an actress on Broadway. She is also enrolled in West Hills School Of Performing Arts, and is in the competition choir. Presley James Logan - A 17 year old guy who is the resident bad boy at West Hills. He has always lived in Seattle, but wants to go to college in Los Angeles to get a recording track. He is half-black/half-white and has black and blonde dreadlocks. He is very popular in the school, and desparately wants to date Sarah, but she likes Danny. His eyes are brown. He is friends with other popular people (not main characters). He's in the competition choir, and usually plays guitar or bass for them. Sarah Elizabeth Monroe - A 15 year old southern belle born and raised on Nashville, TN. She moved to Seattle when her parents got divorced at the age of 9. She lives with her mother and younger sister, Zoey. Her eyes are blue and her hair is dirty blonde. She likes Danny, but is going out with Samuel (jock). She is the captain of the dance team, and is part of the competition choir at West Hills. She has a hippie-ish style, as in she seldomly wears cardigans, but mostly dresses from Rue 21 or Earthbound Trading Company. She sings very well, and can play acoustic guitar. Kameron Lee Weaver - He is the 16 year old best friend of Danny & Rebecca. He is an amazing songwriter and singer, and is usually seen with his guitar on his back instead of his textbooks in a backpack. He has a nerdy-style, usually seen wearing skinny jeans, converse, and cardigans. He wears glasses. His eyes are green and his hair is reddish-brown. He is pale. He likes acoustic songs, but is known for being able to sing any kind of music. Lives with Danny, because his parents were killed in a car wreck when he was 10, and since he had been neighbours with Danny for years, so Danny's mom offered for him to stay with them. Alanna June Reading - Danny's long lost sister, who is 16 years old and lives in Los Angeles. She has fiery red hair (from her dad) and light green eyes just like her brother. She was born just a few days after Danny was, so he is a tiny bit older than her. She sings professionally in L.A. in her father's theater. She really wants to meet Danny, but they don't know where one another live. She can play clarinet in addition to singing. She would be introduced about halfway through the season (I'm working on a trip to Hollywood for the choir). Who is your favorite character? Mine would have to be.. a tie between Danny and Rebecca. They were my first creations, Lol. Leave comments answering these questions: Who is YOUR favorite character" Would you change anything about the characters? Would you read a story based around these characters?

What do you think of my disturbing, bizarre, in-your-face crime movie idea? Similar to "Reservoir Dogs" & "Pulp Fiction," with a big "fuck you" to "Boyz n the hood." It will involve the same black cop, officer Coffey. It will take place in Bensonhurst, Bay Ridge, Boro Park, and Fort Greene and multiple locations in NYC, and guess what? It will have a mostly black and Latino cast. But they will listen to rock, Hawaiian music, and classic 80s, grunge, new age, salsa, Mexican music (just to show that blacks and Latinos don't have to listen to rap, or talk like gangster rappers to be black or Latinos), in addition to maybe some good rap. No reggaeton (I'll tell you why: leave it for the shit-eating audience who will appease Republicans, lol). And with nonstop crude humor. No musical score, to keep that gritty surveillance camera look. Oh and all the murders will take place in broad daylight, making it disturbing. What happens in the movie is that Officer Casey goes to Long Island on vacation (since he "acts white," according to "Boyz n the Hood," which is bullshit, the but the cop is still a son of a bitch who deserves to get a kick in the nuts [not literally, what I mean by this is something way worse, which I'll get into later]). Meanwhile, a group of young 18 year olds, who will dress up professionally, in suits and ties (similar to "Reservoir Dogs") plan to highjack the Williamsburg Savings Bank (in Fort Greene, Brooklyn; you know that big huge clock tower), only to get ratted on by someone. So Officer Coffey try to use the same crooked smiling oppressive tatics he used in "Boyz n the hood," but a skateboarder kid (who will be part of this mostly black and Latino group of criminals) will capture and take him hostage and throw him a truck of a car. The gang of criminals will kick him, laugh at him while doing it, spit on his face, punch him brutally, Mafioso style. Then, the kid will be left with the cop, beaten and tied to a chair on a building's rooftop, where my torture scene will take place. To continue Tarantino's style, expect this: inappropriate music played in the wrong setting to make it disturbing. He will smile in contempt, laugh at him, make crude jokes about him, then torture Officer Coffey to "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, which one of the criminals will laugh at him in fun while doing. Oh yeah, realistic people laughs, not the evil ones you see. The gritty, normal laughter in the wrong setting, the kind with an "I don't give a fuck" feel. This is to say "fuck you" to reggaeton and "Boyz n the hood," the (don't mean to get too "Do the Right Thing" here, but I will describe this movie with some much hatred the same way the race rants scene was done in that movie) reggaeton-loving, shit-eatting, takes-shit-from-those-that-watch-"Friends" (even though "Boyz n the Hood" was around long before "Friends" was around, but I put that because I was bullied for loving "Seinfeld," by teachers and students), asshole movie. What do you think? LOL Anonimous C, Your criticism was helpful and constructive :), but this isn't an official movie idea, just a little movie idea that's all, but that's for the helpful criticism. I really just want people to say what they think about my brutal, yet smooth in a disturbing way, plot. Pardon me But thanks for the helpful criticism, :). Anonimous C, I wasn't attacking you, friend. I thought that what it was. I'm not angry at you. :) You're being honest and straight up, and thank you for that. I know it can use work. But yeah, I was trying to show that this is what the movie would be about, friend. This is a reference to the wheel chaired kid in "Boyz n the hood," who the cop would've beat up and laughed at him if he did it. So this is a big "fuck you" to "Boyz n the hood."

I want to keep the dog I'm dogsitting? Okay, my cousins have been gone for I think 6 days and one of their dogs, a silly two year old Basset Hound named Rufus, has been living with us. We own another dog, my dog, who is named JJ. Our other dog, Coco, just died suddenly on Easter. Rufus the Doofus, as he has been nicknamed, has really gotten under our skin. One of my brothers, Kellen, has always wanted a dog of his own. He really really loves this dog. He takes Rufus with him on walks, in the car, sleeps in his bed, even takes showers with him (Rufus LOVES water). I know, I know. He's not our dog. He already has a home. But my cousins are coming to pick him up tomorrow and I didn't know till now just how attached I've gotten. The other day Rufus was in his crate, and JJ was running frantically from room to room, whining. I pet her and comforted her, confused, cause the only time she does this is when she can't find me. Then it dawned on me and I let Rufus out of his crate, and JJ was so happy. I had no idea she'd gotten so close. She's been so lonely without Coco. I took a lot of pictures of him yesterday and sat in my room going through them. He's got the classic Basset Hound look. The long droopy ears and the stubby legs and a big hound nose and the barrel chest and those huge sad golden eyes. And then out of nowhere I felt like I got punched in the gut. In the past 6 days he's already become part of my family. He's such a clown, he's made us laugh so hard. My family is going through some tough times right now and besides that, my parents are always bickering and fighting. And he's brought so much humor and energy into our life. I don't know what to do. They're supposed to be picking him up tomorrow... and all 6 of us have fallen in love with this dog...... Pleas help! Okay, all I did was ask a question. NOT for people to be rude about it. OBVIOUSLY I wouldn't keep somebody's dog away from them if they wanted their dog back! And, right after I asked, my mom called my cousins. Not to ask for the dog at all, just saying how Rufus is going and stuff. My brother Kellen just graduated from High School today. My cousins said that it sounds like Rufus is really fitting in there.... and they think they want to give Rufus to Kellen for a graduation present.

Why buy a Jeep, Audi, Mitsu or other? I have just recently applied for a loan through my company and have been used car shopping. I am 21 years old and have 5000 to spend on a car and I've been a little heart set on a Jeep. I have found a 2000 Jeep Cherokee Classic I6 4x4 with power everything for about 3400 and only 85k miles, this sounds to good to be true and I know when that happens it probably is. I have had 2nd thoughts about it too after asking people their advise and alot of people say that Jeeps dont get the greatest gas mileage and they are generally more expensive to insure. Now I am a college kid so im full time student part time worker and I would like the least expensive thing possiable. I've searched on Autotrader and have turned up a few things that look nice to me a few of which are a 1998 Audi A4 with 120k miles for about 4k, a 92 BMW 3xxi with 90k miles on it for closer to 5k, and the Jeep. After talking with my girlfriend, her parents, and her family they told me that the foregin cars are more expensive to repair and why do I want a luxury car now when im 21? Why not wait till you graduate and you can afford one? Also, all of these cars have 6 cylinder engines and they suggest getting something that gets better gas mileage. Taking that into consideration I also found a 2001 mitsu lancer with about 103k for a little over 4. Really to me its between the Audi or the Jeep. What does all this mean? Well I would your opinions on the cars that I have found and some pros and cons of owning each. Do Jeeps really get that bad of fuel economey? Do they cost more to insure? Are forgine cars more expensive to fix? Are Cherokee's reliable? Are Audi A4's? Also I am open to suggestions on which car(s) you suggest. I want something that looks good and/or is fun to drive. Thank you!

Do you think multifunction cell phones will replaces all thing we know as portable devices? there are a ridicoulous amount of devices out there, but they can all be placed in a few specific categorys, multifunction cell phones seem to take all of these devices and put them in one. so do you guys think that any of these types of devices will stay dedicated, or just become a cell phone feature 1.pda's 2.good old regular cell phones (the dedicated ones) 3.pmp (portable media players) 4.mp3's (the ipod became the iphone, but what about non ipods?) 5.gps (sure your cell phones screen is small for a car, but in a few years theyll have fold out oled screens like paer which will make up for that) 6.calculators (for those that dont know the iphone is can be a scientific calculator, graphing calculator and !!!3 dimensional graphing calculator!!!) 7.hand held gaming device (hell game developers are abvondoning there trust of sonys psp faster then white people left OJ's, the ds lite is fun and great but cell phones look just like it, can have similar controls and can have a more powerful components) 8.speakers ( i know this sounds far fetched, ha sounds, but speakers ar getting smaller, louder, and better sound quality every day, I wouldnt be suprised is speakers of a cell phone would be used as a cell phone) 9.modems (you really dont want to read this part, i made it to long, but go ahead if you dare) (so youve bought your new $2000 dollar laptop, and your $400 hundred dollar phone, then you go on your smartphone and search the internet, the internet you decide would be a better experience on your laptop, you open it upand theres no wifi foe miles, so you go to buy a modem and find out that the modems contract fee is higher then your cell phones, then you realize that you can connect your laptop to your cell phone and miss the modem fee altogether, sounds like a rock solid idea to me, that's why id never buy an iphone, you cant use it as a mosem, my $50 dollar samsung phone can at 3g speed, and your $500 hundred dollar iphone can't just plain sad) 10.netbooks ( i know this sounds silly, but the only reason cell phones dont have fully featured internet browsers is their lack of power, in 2010 there will be 2Ghz processors in cell phones and 2gigs of ram, current netbooks would be slaughtered on there first birthday if we had cell phones two years from know, now. yeah so what netbooks will also be more powerful, but the only reason I think the cell phone browsing experience hasnt gotten really big is the limiting experience for the power) 11. projectors (oh yeh, if you dont think this is a possibility just research the exponential decline in the literal mass of projectors, at this current rate an HD projector will be the size of an ipod classic by 2013, and by 2017 the will be the size of the built in 2mp camera on your current phone 12. potable hard drives, thumb drives, storage devices in general, the mass to storage ratio of SSD's to regular hard drives are going to be caught up to hard drives by 2012 (for example, largest storage capacity of a 2.5 inch hard drive by 2012, 2TB, largest storage for SSD 2.5 by 2012 2048GB), by 2015 512GB's of SSD's will fit on a 1.8 inch drive or even more storage 13. DVR's (tivo, directtv, and a slew of others), your home computer is already as capable as a current DVR if you have vista, also that capability is rumored in apples next OS update (yes that's right apple lovers, underneath the surface leapord is missing out a whole bunch of stuff) things such as the size of the archos pmp's are already fully fledged dvr's, and several differeint applications have come out for smartphones, most notably the one for the iphone, I forget the name of the app, but its there and its kicking 14. flashlights, even thougth the average person dosnt have one of these on them it still comes in use at times, come on admit it, youve used your psp, ds or ipod as a light in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, but lcd's auctually arent that bright compared to future tech, oled screens dont need a backlight and can be as bright as 800 lumens, thats like a painfully strong flashlight, or FED which is slow to pick up momentum but is rumored to be even brighter with no backlight 15. keys, keys to everything, including your car, house, and anything else you can out fit a electronic automatic lock with 16.credit cards, this tech is already emerging for busses in europe, but what about safeway, pizza hut and that shaddy aldut store around the corner 17.mirrors, lady's will like this and it is out there, one way mirrors that turn into bright multitouch screens when fliped over 18.remote controllers, since phones these days are quickly adapting to multi touch screens, and not to long ago strange named new companys were popping up every where with dedicated touch only universal remote controllers, this didnt go over well because of most of the different companys didnt have suficient funding, the technology at that time wasnt advanced enough, and people are used to buttons, but

Does my book have any potential? I am only 14 years old!? Its about a family the mother killed herself when the found out their daughter had APL (Leukemia). This is a part when the Sophie ( cancer girl) is five years old, before her brother is born. The next few work days were better for Claiborne. As a routine schedule he would get up at six thirty a.m. and then he would eat breakfast and get dressed and head too work. Then he would arrive at work and he would schedule his lunch and break at the same time so he would get a longer lunch. Then he would proceed through the day as easily as he could. He would arrive home at six thirty and feed Lucille and Sophie, and then got to bed. This had become routine for Clay and he never broke this schedule. Except on weekends. That was when Sophie and Claiborne bonded. “Daddy” Asked Sophie one weekend. “Can I ask you a question?” “Sure, sweetie.” “When am I going to die?” She asked. Claiborne froze and could not think of what too say to his daughter. “You’re not going to die. I won’t let that happen.” “But daddy everyone dies.” “Yeah, but I’m not going to let you die before I die.” “Can you promise that?” “No” “Then you don’t know for sure.” She replied. Claiborne thought: Since when did Sophie get smart? “Well, sweetie, I don’t know the answers too everything.” “So you can’t promise me?” “Not yet, anyways, but maybe if your sickness cures I can then promise it.” Claiborne says with a smile. The grass they were lying on was dead and brown. They were lying in the meadow behind their house. It was absolutely beautiful. It was as big as two football fields, and trees grew all around the perimeter of the meadow. They often came her to talk and play. “Thanks, daddy” She said, hugging Clay. “Anytime, sweet heart.” He said. And with that, they got up and walked home together holding hands. Night time Claiborne had never been caught off guard, except for today. Why had she asked me if she was about to die? Could she sense death? Claiborne asked himself as he tried to get some sleep. Could in fact, Sophie be dying right now? If so I couldn’t stand to have two of them gone? These thoughts stayed within Clay’s head as he cried himself to sleep. Morning Clay awoke to the sound of birds chirping frantically and the sound of Lucille shutting off her 1987 red camaro. He looked out his window too see Lucille wearing her hair in a tight bun and her jeans and AC/DC shirt. Lucille had a thing for classic rock and old cars. Wow, she’s stuck in the 80’s! Clay thought too himself. Lucille walked to the front door and mounted the stairs. Our house was an old Victorian white house. When Sophie would be in the hospital for her leukemia she would tell people that she lived in “the dollhouse”. Clay skidded over to the closet where he saw that Lucille had ironed all his work clothes for him. Oh! Lucille you’re a life- saver! He thought too himself. He turned his head toward the door to see Lucille leaning against the hinges of his bedroom door. “Thanks so much for ironing my clothes, Lucille.” Clay thanked. “Your welcome.” She replied and walked down stairs to begin cooking our breakfast. Lucille and I would eat breakfast together, and then she would later cook Sophie breakfast. Clay pulled off his shirt and threw on his white work shirt and black sports coat and black pants. He actually seemed like going to work instead of grieving it. He had finally gotten over his wife to where if he thought about her he would not cry. This was better. Downstairs Lucille had a plate of eggs and grits waiting for Claiborne. As Claiborne rushed downstairs he could smell Lucille’s nice home-cooking. “Oh, Lucille thanks!” “Your welcome, Clay.” “So what are you and Sophie doing today?” Clay asked, as he took a seat at the table. “Um….well I was thinking of taking her to the zoo? If that’s okay with you?” She asked as she took a seat next to Claiborne. Claiborne’s face lit up. “Yes! That would be great! How about if I get off work and come along?” “Oh! She would be so excited.” Lucille said waving her hands in the air. “Okay, so what time?” “How about two?” “Sounds good to me.” Claiborne added. He glanced down at his watch and suddenly began to panic. “Oh gosh! I’m going to be late!” he said, slamming his fork onto the plate and rushing out the door. Claiborne is the dad. The mom has already killed herself and this is a few chapters into the book. Lucille is thier maid/ caretaker for Sophie while Clay is at work. :)

Looking for a Good Project Car? I want to find a car to buy to work on over the next couple years. I just want something that is cheap and fun to work on, and relatively simple and easy to maintain. Because of this I would assume that It would be an older car, like before the late 80's or early 90's. I'm into alot of different cars as long as their not terribly ugly or slow. I like American Muscle, Hot Rods, and Japanese and Euro tuners. Right now i'm driving a modified '03 Audi A4 1.8T Quattro as my daily driver. Basically I want to find a car under $1000, that doesn't even have to be running and I want to learn how to take it apart and put it back together, and learn how to rebuild the engine, do the wiring, etc. Then I'll slowly add parts to it and get it into proper working order and I'll eventually use it as a show room car or drag racer or something recreational like that. I know that It will be expensive to really make a beater into a great car but I've got plenty of time and If it doesn't work out I'll just do a demolition derby or something with it or scrap it. I wouldn't feel too bad losing a $500-$1000 investment as long as I get a little fun out of it. If anyone has any suggestions that would be great. I'd really like a classic muscle car but I'm not sure which one since I kinda missed out on that whole era being a younger guy. Anyway, Thanks!

What are some good clasic cars i would like? Ive been looking for an old classic car in the 65-85 year range. I like the old european sports cars the best so far but really dont know to many classics. I want one that that i can buy for less then 3k and is running (doesnt have to be in great exterior or interior shape just runs and rust free) and can find parts decently easy or can buy new parts from some shop somewhere in america, also gets good gas milage around 30mpg... so far here are the cars i found i like in order. 1. 1969-74 alfa romeo gtv (too expensive for me or atleast what ive seen) 2. old fiat spiders (this is my best bet so far but there has to be a better quality car out there) 3. Opel (but there rare and hard to find parts)

How can I get rid of my bad-boy image/vibes? For whatever reason, the common consensus on me is that I'm a bad person, bad-boy. My image over the last few years pretty much..came to that. I look good, but that has nothing to do with it. My weird bad/unstable vibes tend to radiate and scare some people. I mean they just label me as such, and I'm 26 years old. I cannot afford at my age to be a bad boy! Aside from no one taking me seriously, and thinking that I need mental help, I'm less likely to get hired anywhere, I'm sure. But they're here and I need to deal with them. But I don't know what I'm doing wrong. My clothing selection does tend to be very liberal, trendy/fashionable, and I do have long hair past my shoulders which I highlight blonde. I tend to like rock music alot especially classic rock, I have a nice red car, I like blasting music, but I'm also gay/bi, so it's strange. I never thought that a gay/bi person would induce fear in others. lol. Anyways, perhaps I'm a rock and roll at heart type of person, like a male courtney love, and this shows through and it really is undesirable and scary to many people. Some people read me right off the bat! This one guy at a store sees me from time to time and goes "stay out of trouble!." The other day he goes, "oh you went to court? let me guess...SPEEDING TICKET!" He was right about that! I have no idea how he knew but he knew. He matched it with my personality. He also said "stay out of trouble." Some people just glance at me, and just start to smile or laugh because I guess of my ovebearing personality. that's not really a good thing! It's great if you want attention, but...that's not the sort of attention I want at my age. It's just not. Also, christians don't seem to like me at all whatsoever, and neither do muslims. They think I'm hell bound. Doctors same thing. Depends on who but, one of them was like "have you ever used cocaine or drugs in your past, do you do them now?" Or they like mock me and laugh when I tell them how I applied to work for a major company ( which I did). Or like the other day I went to court to talk to one of the court clerks and she went "THAT's him?" Because I called them up to complain, and went "aha, pfffft." so basically...whatever my image is...it's not very appealing, at all, people react negatively to it (especially women), and kind of frown upon it or just give me weird looks, and it seems to distance people away from me, or kind of make them scared of me. even gas attendants are like afraid of coming by my car window sometimes and go "it's cool man, its cool." I don't know what I did to go from being a sweet kid to a straight A and B college student...to now being a crazy bad boy but,... I'm there, and I want out. The ironic part is,...I'm not poor. At all. I'm also not badly off. I wear designer clothing, my hair gets PROFESSIONALLY done... yet despite all of this, my image and vibes scare people. Not all though. I still get some people to check me out think I'm hot, like me, want to date me ,etc. So the signals I'm getting are: I'm a bad boy, a sexy one, but also a possibly dangerous one. I don't get why people judge you so strongly by your image, but that's what I'm gathering, and I REALLY want to change. What should I do? any advice? Seriously some people just look at me and think "sinner, guilty as charged!, etc." Like a male christian slater, or a female Jennifer Tilly. Sexy.,, ,but yet BAD. and the badness overpowers any good qualities. That doesn't seem to fly in the real world at all! And I'm NOT in Hollywood. I feel out of place. HELP!

I Think I may have the coolest parents in life...? Okay so my mom and I both use this account so this is hers too. I am 16 years old, nearly 17. I know when you're my age you're supposed to like despise your Rents but I don't, which doesn't bother me because I'm not a sheep. My dad is a Video game tester, and my mom is a Radio announcer at a classic rock station. They both tend to be pretty cool. I came home drunk one night, and I knew they knew. The next day when I was hung over I thought they were going to kill me. They both came at me, but they weren't mad I was drunk, okay they were a little, they were mad that I was trying to hide it from them. Apparently the "expect me to experiment" but they never want me to touch hard drugs, or feel I need to lie to them. I kinda noted the hard drugs part because I think back in the day they were both pot heads. mom ended the conversation saying ps to avoid a hangover chug water before bed. Whose mom says that? for the record I haven't experimented any other substances, I've drank a couple times with my friends, but I tell one of them so they know to come get me, and dad tends to be a night owl. I am also a drummer. I wanted to start playing drums 2 years ago so dad rented me a set, who's parents do that without a fight over can't you choose something quieter? they both stopped parking their cars in the garage so I had room to practice. They started a rent to own program for me and now that I have a job they split the monthly payments with me. We have a dog, and each of us have our own pets my 8 year old sister has a fish my 12 year old brother has a hamster I wanted a guinea pig, and so did mom so we got 2 girls mine is named after Alice Cooper, so her name is Alice, and mom is a big KISS fan so hers is named Dr. Love lol. To continue yes I'm on the pill. Mom put it on her health plan instead of dad's so I wouldn't be embarrassed. Dad lets me test out new video games with me and jams with me some times, also he insulated the garage this summer for me and bought me heaters so I could play in their in the winter. Mom, since she works for a classic rock station, she has taken me to see Trooper, KISS, The Stones, I met Eddie Van Halen, I saw ACDC in concert and she made my dream come true a month ago when I not only got to see, but meet my Idol Alice Cooper. My question? Don't I have the most KICK ASS Parents? a little from column a, a little from column b, and there is a hidden column c, that hopes mom will see this and feel appreciated ok They totally care about me, both of them are totally there for me, and tell me they love me all the time. Mom even makes jokes that she doesn't "throw around the L word". As for the friends comment. No they aren't trying to be my friend, because believe me I have been grounded for slipping grades and stuff, and I flipped on Dad one day, that was ugly. they are my parents first and my friends second. they're just laid back

Practical & Inexpensive classic American automobile to drive daily -- 1949 through 1961 -- Suggestions? I'd rather drive a car from America's golden age than a modern one. Not talking heavy mileage here, just routine errands and modest annual mileage. What classic autos from the 50's (plus or minus a few years) are folks out there actually driving on a daily basis, or at least several times a week? Don't need a flashy standout like a 49 Merc or a 57 Chevy or a 55 T-bird [although I wouldn't rule one out if I spotted a true bargain] But I would, however, like an old faithful that's relatively-easily to find parts for, and that gets better than average gas mileage for its era. Probably a six cylinder rather than an eight? Thanks for your stories and your suggestions!

Ladies Only: I am looking for a companion to spend time with. Someone that we can start out as friends but? that it will eventually lead to a relationship which is what I am seeking. I am friendly, loyal, courteous, well educated and enjoy the simple things in life. The reality is that I want to be able to share my life with someone. I'm not talking about running and get married...no that is not it all. I've been there and done that as they say and I'm really not interested in walking down the aisle again...but one can never say never, who knows? but what I am looking for is a woman that I can be a great friend to and be romantically involved at the same time. Why is finding the right person so difficult? there are so many variables that one must go through, so many obstacles along the way. I am not looking for the perfect woman because I am well aware that perfection in humans is nonexistent but just someone that I can have fun with and have a great time and also become a part of her life and she will do the same. I love a woman that can stimulate me physically as well as intellectually. You don't have be a beautiful specimen or have a Ph.D in Behavioral Science but a regular-looking girl with a brain that can carry a conversation. I tend to be shy and withdrawn at first but once we get going on a given subject, I'm a very good conversalionist in all modesty. I have a Master's degree in English literature so naturally any conversation about books, writers, poets, I am going to be fascinated with. I love music: classic rock from the 60s and 70s and I also like jazz, soul, blues and classical. I like going to the movies, the theater, dinner or just taking a walk along the beach and watching the sun go down. I LOVE sunsets, I can spend a long time watching how the beautiful colors intertwine with the clouds, it makes for a spectacular and most precious celestial sight. I am romantic...yes I am. I still believe in romance and sweeping a girl off her feet with a love poem, candies, and flowers. I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned in that sense. I just want to love somebody and have them reciprocate all of that love in return. I'm really a simple guy overall. I'm not materialistic or selfish and like to share whatever I have with that special someone. I hope I can meet somebody on here. I know that this is not a dating site...believe me I've tried a few of those and so far all of my attempts at finding someone have failed. Most women that I've encountered in the last few years and the ones I've dated seem to want the same thing: MONEY and POWER. I'm sorry but I'm not wealthy and I don't have any power. They all seem to be interested in how much money I make, or what kind of car I drive or whether I own or rent my house and if I own a business. If you're that kind of woman --than with all do respect don't continue reading because I am NOT the man that you're looking for. I wish you well in your seach and hope that you find what you're looking for. I love animals (although I don't have any) but if you have a dog, cat, bird or whatever other species as long as is not extremely dangerous I'm cool with it. Children are fine although I would prefer someone whose kids are pretty much grown but if you have a child that is a minor and living with you, I will understand. I know about kids as I have three of my own. One adult 21 and two teenagers 14 and 15, so I know all about having kids and raising them. I know how difficult it can be especially if you're a single parent. I really admire women that have been forced to raise their children on their own because the father left them and don't receive any kind of assistance either monetary or emotional. I ask that any ladies that read this narrative that sounds more like an advertisement for finding love, LOL and are interested in perhaps meeting and talking with me are from Miami only. I apologize if I seem that I am discriminating against other woman that live in other cities, rest assure I am not. Is just that I would prefer that the person be from Miami which is where I live so that I won't have to travel to another city in another state to meet her, I hope that you can understand. Although any ladies that wish to give me their advice on what they thought about what I've written here is welcome to do so and I appreciate very kindly. Well, I hope to get some responses and hopefully one of those will be the lady that I am looking for. I thank you for taking the time to read this long narrative and I do apologize for its length but I needed to be clear on some of the things that I am looking for in a person and needed to be as thorough as possible. I'm not posting my e-mail because I don't know yet what is going to come out of this but if something positive does which I am hoping than I will be get in touch with that person. Thank you.

Does anyone have any ideas for a bucket list? I would like 100? I am a 16 year old guy in high school. I am an athlete. To name a few sports I do, taekwondo, soccer, track, cross-country, and lacrosse. I have added my bucket list so far so I don't get any repeats and to help you if you want to make one. Please help 1.Join the Navy 2.Build up the courage to see Jerry’s grave site 3.Donate blood 4.Lead a parade 5.Ride a bull 6.Learn to fly 7.Get a college degree 8.Kick a field goal 9.Become a licensed minister 10.Learn to play an instrument 11.Tell a prosecutor: “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” 12.Send a message in a bottle and get a response 13.Scream at the top of your lungs on a mountain 14.Cut a ribbon at a major opening 15.Be part of the loudest crowd in a sport 16.Throw the first pitch at an MLB game 17.Kiss the Stanley Cup 18.Get in the Guinness Book of World Records 19.Make a toast at a strangers wedding 20.Skydive 21.Take a stranger out to dinner 22.Spend a week in silence 23.See a dead body 24.Make an important speech 25.Go dog sledding 26.Fall in love 27.Run and finish a marathon 28.Jump off a waterfall 29.Experience zero-gravity 30.Travel to every state 31.Join the 50 States Marathon Club 32.Become a tri-athlete 33. Swim across the English Channel 34.Learn to water ski 35.Participate and complete a stage in the Tour de France 36.Learn to say “hello” in 50 languages 37.Learn Latin 38.Get a song I wrote on the radio 39.Swim with sharks 40.Go scuba diving 41.Climb Mount Kilimanjaro 42.Ride the ten largest roller coasters in the United States 43.See the Northern Lights 44.See Christ in Rio de Janeiro 45.Climb the Statue of Liberty 46.Compete in the Empire State Building Run Up 47.See a changing of the guards in London 48.Be a honor guard at The Tomb of The Unknown Soldier 49.Visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa 50.Step on every continent 51.Solve a Rubik’s Cube 52.Restore a classic car 53.Meet Willow Palin 54.Get into Med School 55.Be interviewed on a national talk show 56.Be knighted by the Queen of England 57.Have someone tell me ‘I made a difference in their life’ and mean it 58.Make loans to entrepreneurs in developing countries through www.kiva.com 59.Drive a Lamborghini and/or a Ferrari 60.Become a Physical Therapist/Athletic Trainer 61.Be a College Basketball coach for a Division 1 School for a game 62.Be a College coach for a Division 1 School in a game for a sport other than basketball 63.Be a stand-up comedian for a day 64.Make a Coat of Arms for my family 65.Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain 66.Swim with dolphins 67.See penguins in the wild 68.See a platypus in the wild 69.See a koala bear in the wild 70.Be a vegetarian 71.Meet the Pope and hold a conversation, regardless of length, in Latin 72.Go to a Super Bowl (as a fan) 73.Go to a World Cup game (as a fan) 74.Go to the Olympics (as a fan) 75.Bet and win at the Kentucky Derby 76.Be in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 77.Have a high score for the world in a game 78.Complete “Project 365” 79.Throw a bad ass party 80.Help someone cross something off on their list 81.Meet Tyson Gay 82.Run with Tyson Gay and/or Usain Bolt 83.Lose my senses/privileges of life for a week 84.Be homeless for a week 85.Run the North Carolina Coast Line in less than 5 days (60.2 miles per day) 86.Score on an MLS Keeper 87.Score on an NHL Net-Minder 88.Score on an MLL Goalie 89.Show Criss Angel some of my magic tricks 90.Medal in a regional/national Sparring Championships again 91.See a changing of the guards at The Tomb of The Unknown Soldier 92.Learn Northern Shaolin Kung Fu 93.Learn Baguazhang Kung Fu 94.Learn Hung Ga Kung Fu

What's the name of this Japanese movie? I remember watching it in 6th grade, which was about 3-4 years ago and it was about this struggling manga artist who knew this little boy, I think it was like a classic Japanese movie and it was set in the old days. I think they had separate main characters and one was a girl who had moved in with this family because she wanted to be an engineer but the family owned a bike shop. It was comedy like and there was a cream puff and she found out later it was rotten because the fridge broke. Also I remember the part about the manga artist guy. The little boy had these really good ideas for his manga and the guy cheated off the boy. But the manga artist gave the little boy a fountain pen and he was really happy. In the end, there was a car driving away with someone in it and I think the man was running after it. And also no one had a tv back then so people would flock to anyone who owned a television set.

What Do You Think of McCain's New Christian Values? Senator McCain loves to tell the story of how McCain dreamed of his wife and children while he was a POW in Vietnam. Most people assume that Cindy McCain is the wife in question. However, he would have actually been thinking of his first wife, Carol McCain. She was a successful swimwear model when she became Mrs. John McCain back in 1965. When McCain returned from Vietnam in 1973, he found out that she had been disfigured in a car crash. Doctors were forced to cut away portions of her legs and she went from 5′9″ to 5′4″. Instead of standing by his wife, Senator McCain divorced her and 18 months later married Cindy McCain who was of course the heir to a beer fortune. He promised to pay Carol’s medical bills for life as part of their divorce, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that he abandoned his wife. When he returned, he said that he was happy to see his wife, though his friends say that in secret, Senator McCain was “‘appalled’ by the change in her appearance.” In 1979, Senator McCain cheated on Carol with his current wife Cindy McCain. One of Carol’s friends explains how she rationalized his infidelity: ‘Carol didn’t fight him. She felt her infirmity made her an impediment to him. She justified his actions because of all he had gone through. She used to say, “He just wants to make up for lost time.”’ Another friend points out that: ‘He was very generous to her in the divorce but of course he could afford to be, since he was marrying Cindy,’ His marriage to Cindy not only gave McCain a beer fortune, but also gave him even greater political connections which enabled him to become Senator McCain. Ted Sampley, who fought with the US Special Forces and campaigns for veteran rights explained Senator McCain: “I have been following John McCain’s career for nearly 20 years. I know him personally. There is something wrong with this guy and let me tell you what it is – deceit. When he came home and saw that Carol was not the beauty he left behind, he started running around on her almost right away. Everybody around him knew it. Eventually he met Cindy and she was young and beautiful and very wealthy. At that point McCain just dumped Carol for something he thought was better. This is a guy who makes such a big deal about his character. He has no character. He is a fake. If there was any character in that first marriage, it all belonged to Carol.” Ross Perot, the Texas businessman and former Presidential candidate paid for Carol’s medical bills while McCain was a POW weighed in with his thoughts about McCain: “McCain is the classic opportunist. He’s always reaching for attention and glory, after he came home, Carol walked with a limp. So he threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona. And the rest is history.” Yet he’s widely believed to be the candidate who represents family values rather than Senator Obama who is married to his first and only wife with two children. http://quixoticjournal.wordpress.com/2008/06/09/john-mccains-family-values/

Deadly Love part 1 please read? I looked at my room, what was left of my room. I look at the colorless walls like most of the house. My dark carpet that had gotten warns out over the years. The walls were slanted. The blue carpet was a darker. I dragged my hand against the hard thick dirty carpet. I felt my finger numbing as I rubber then against the carpet harder. There was gum on the floor it had turned black since before. My room was empty. It was always like that. I felt the cold golden knob against my warm fingers cooling. I walked through the narrow hallway with the white walls. The house felt so empty. We had gotten clear of the house months ago when we lost the house in January. I walked into my mom’s room. Her brown walls were hollow. We were ready to go to Del Monte Forest, California were uncle Hon lived. We were going to live there since we lost our house and need to stay some were. I walked though so big brown door that were the doors of my mothers room. I felt the cold golden knob against my warm fingers cooling them. ☼1☼ “Mom”? I muttered. My voice went higher than I expect it. There was a box in the middle of the lime room that was my mothers I walked to the box and looked what was inside. There was a picture of Scarlet, my twin who resident had gone missing three months ago after our Birthday and was calmed dead. I look at my sister she looked much like me she had my warm smile. my long reddish hair that went up to my neck. She had my long round classic nose. She had my almond green eyes but the only thing she did’t have was my beauty under my eye. I saw the lady that was my mother she looked quiet like me but was darker and quiet smaller. She had long thick hair up to her neck it was tied into a tress. She was a dark brunette tone. She had big green almond eye. she had laugh lines to. I heard mom chuckle “Over here”. She said her voice was cold and hard. I walked into the bathroom the blue color walls were dark “Mum, wait get these to the car”. She said making no notice that I was right next to her. She look at me holding the picture. She grabbed the picture from my hand and smiled warmly. “Remember were we took this picture”? she said about to cry. “At Santa Cruz last August”. Said. “OH”. She said. “Your sister looks just like you”. She said almost about to cry. “I wish she was back”. She said whimpering. I grabbed the boxes she was hold. They made my hand upset they were as a result heavy for me they were half my size. I walked out hearing my moms foots step behind me. I felt the cold air hit against my skin making it hard to breath. “Come on”. I heard someone voice. It was Elliot. ☼2☼ Elliot had long black hair like mom. He was a dark tan color that almost made him look black. He had big brown eyes. He was tall only thirteen years old my little brother had gotten bigger he was almost my size. I let the boxes fall into the car it was a black Toyota Hybrid with 23 horse power. “Get in”. Mom said her voice got hard. What was her crisis she 2want us to go now she mad. Sometimes I don’t get her. I got in the car Elliot was in the back. I got my backpack. I knew she knew I lied I was always a bad liar she would all way know if I lied. We had lost our house about a month ago. Mom had lost her job as a singer in Roxy’s chill curb. Mom hadn’t paid the bills since then. There was a dead silent’s in the car. It was a long time I could’t wait o get to the airport so I would’t have to see Conner one last time. We got to the William R. Fair child airport. I saw the car stop in front. I got out of the car and stretch my legs that were so numb. I walked over to the back of the car. I grabbed me suitcase from the back they were heavy to like the boxes but not that heavy. “Charlie, Elliot”. I heard her croak. “Mom we’ll be fine I promise I’ll take care of Elliot”. I said. “Ok”. She said. “Just call if you want to come back Charlie ok.” she alleged. I did’t want to stay I just want mom to be happy it WAS’t because of my selfish reason. “Mom, dose it mater Eastern doesn’t have any space”. I said. “I’ll miss you kid, I love you guys” She said. “Now call me when you get there ok and email my every day k.” she said her voice went to a high pitch after throwing her gum away. “I will mom”. I said. ☼3☼ “Ok now go I don’t want you guys to be late.” She said. She hugged me and Elliot for one last time. The last goodbye to her to the Port Angles. Goodbye to my old life I would begin a new chapter in my life. We gave are ticket to a lady with a big grin on her face.” Have a good flight”. She said her voice was kind of squeaky. We look for are seat A4 and A5. The people were shoving me against the walls in the plane. I was running out of air it felt like my lungs getting punched out of air. I got out my inhaler and shoved it in my mouth rapidly so I could breathe a

Can you make this funny? I have to write a story (1 page) that pertains to me and then transcribe it. I can do the transcription, but the story is giving me problems. I want it to be humorous, but I'm just not that funny. So if anyone has a humor streak and would help me I would be so grateful! Here is what I have: The other day I had the displeasure of cleaning out my kids’ closets. Now, in an effort to avoid the tears and tantrums of departing with toys they are never going to play with again, I usually do this while they are at school. And don’t ya know they never miss those items they claim to love so much! Both my husband and I know that this needs to be done on a regular basis, but there are the select few in my family that just don’t understand. Meet my dad, the hoarder. Now, dad isn’t a classic hoarder like you see on Dr. Phil whose house is completely overrun with junk, but he just can never seem to part with his beloved stuff. After all, you never know when that special something you’ve been keeping for the last 30 years will come in handy. When dad couldn’t fit anymore stuff under his trailer, he went out and bought two of those metal storage buildings and is on his way to cramming them full too! Now, I admit there are belongings, such as my wedding dress, that I have crammed in a dark closet somewhere that will probably never see the light of day again and I have trinkets in my curios, but they serve an aesthetic purpose. And while I’m sure that my dad has sentimental belongings, most of his stuff he keeps because he thinks that one day it will be worth a fortune and when he passes, my brother and I will be millionaires. For instance, crammed in his closet are marbles, Lincoln Logs, remote control cars, and various other junk. I always joke around and say that when dad does pass I'm just gonna cry over the millions I've lost while I toss the match. So, anyone out there that can make this funny?

What do you think of my short story? (its pretty short so it won't take long to read!) The Creased Jeans They say when a Granma enters the door, discipline flies out the window but that is merely saying the least in my daughter’s household. When Gran comes to stay, tummies are filled with delicious home made cookies, beds are made and all stress vanishes, in fact so does the huge stacks of dishes along with the endless piles of laundry! You would think 20 years of parenting and my job is complete. Children- just one more thing ticked of on life’s shopping list. 20 years filled with smelly nappies, trips to the principals office and wild screaming matches with argumentative teenagers and my not-so-darling daughter is still putting her hands out for eternal favours. Theres no question about it, it is time for revenge. Why do grandparents get on so well with their grandkids? Simple, they share a common enemy. Today that enemy is going to face her biggest showdown yet. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The iron hissed like an angry snake as it slithered across the overly expensive pair of Levi boot leg jeans. My grand kids, shoulder to shoulder, kneeling on back of the couch, giggled eagerly as I folded the jeans. Carefully, I positioned them in a perfectly symmetrical square on top of of my daughter’s huge pile of ironed clothes.Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I joined my grand kids on the back of the couch, all eyes in the room fixed on the wall clock. “When mom gets home,” I instructed them, “Look normal and try not to laugh”. Of course I knew that was impossible, but where’s the fun in being a kid with out false expectations? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Car wheels clattered over the pebbly driveway. My precious daughter had arrived home from her all-day shopping trip. The door handle creaked open. I twitched my hand upwards, and as we’d planned the children followed the signal and made to be busy. “Hi Mum” they chorused as she entered the room. I clung on to my walking stick, looking as frail as ever as the ice cold she gave to the pile of washing reflected around the room. She ran her long painted finger nail along the crease in the middle of the jeans. She then gave one of "those" looks that too fully appreciate you have to see with your own eyes. It was of bitter annoyance blanketed in complete helplessness. I knew when the corner of her lips twitched upwards and she gave me the classic put on smile, followed by the mumbled words “Thanks for the ironing Jan”, my role as grandma would never be abused again. It was official; plan “Creases in Jeans” was a success. Any constructive critisism?? Don't be afraid to be completly critical. It was for english and it only took me 45 minutes. Also how old would you expect the person who wrote it too be (me)? One more thing, I don't really like the "Tick tock" parts, can you think of anything to replace them. Thanks so much for all the help! Thanks so much! I mean ice cold glare

Need to change a phrase in my short story? So heres the story... The Creased Jeans They say when a Granma enters the door, discipline flies out the window but that is merely saying the least in my daughter’s household. When Gran comes to stay, tummies are filled with delicious home made cookies, beds are made and all stress vanishes, in fact so does the huge stacks of dishes along with the endless piles of laundry! You would think 20 years of parenting and my job is complete. Children- just one more thing ticked of on life’s shopping list. 20 years filled with smelly nappies, trips to the principals office and wild screaming matches with argumentative teenagers and my not-so-darling daughter is still putting her hands out for eternal favours. Theres no question about it, it is time for revenge. Why do grandparents get on so well with their grandkids? Simple, they share a common enemy. Today that enemy is going to face her biggest showdown yet. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The iron hissed like an angry snake as it slithered across the overly expensive pair of Levi boot leg jeans. My grand kids, shoulder to shoulder, kneeling on back of the couch, giggled eagerly as I folded the jeans. Carefully, I positioned them in a perfectly symmetrical square on top of of my daughter’s huge pile of ironed clothes.Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I joined my grand kids on the back of the couch, all eyes in the room fixed on the wall clock. “When mom gets home,” I instructed them, “Look normal and try not to laugh”. Of course I knew that was impossible, but where’s the fun in being a kid with out false expectations? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Car wheels clattered over the pebbly driveway. My precious daughter had arrived home from her all-day shopping trip. The door handle creaked open. I twitched my hand upwards, and as we’d planned the children followed the signal and made to be busy. “Hi Mum” they chorused as she entered the room. I clung on to my walking stick, looking as frail as ever as the ice cold stare she gave to the pile of washing reflected around the room. She ran her long painted finger nail along the crease in the middle of the jeans. She then gave one of "those" looks that too fully appreciate you have to see with your own eyes. It was of bitter annoyance blanketed in complete helplessness. I knew when the corner of her lips twitched upwards and she gave me the classic put on smile, followed by the mumbled words “Thanks for the ironing Jan”, my role as grandma would never be abused again. It was official; plan “Creases in Jeans” was a success. I showed the story to my teacher and she said the 'tick tock' parts detracted from the rest of the story as they sounded too cliche (i'm pretty sure thats cliche like something she'd read many times before. She said a catchy sentence or something else would be much better but i'm stuck for ideas. So yeah any ideas??? Also any other constructive critisism would be greatly appreciated?? Thanks so much!

What is a classic car in the UK? I've just been told that my ever faithful, much loved, 12 year old Renault Biarritz could now be classed as a classic car. I'm not actually sure what makes a classic car a classic car. Another reason I could never part with it is my bosses 5 year old car cost him just over £600 to put through the MOT and mine cost me £20 & 2 new tyres. Gosh I just love telling people that story.(lol)

How do I register a restored classic car without a VIN? What my question more specifically is, is- If I restore a 69 Camaro from the ground up, and the vehicle does not have a VIN number and no original parts, how do I register it? How does the DMV determine the year of the car is 1969?

what are general things to look for when buying a classic car? For example: 1. Cars before year XXXX are not required to be smogged, or passengers are not required to wear seat belts. 2. Accesibility of parts 3. Etc.

What is best venue for selling classic Mopar parts? I've got some old muscle car era Mopar parts and pieces I may have to sell, wondering where the best place these days to try and sell them. Basically I have all the drive train/running gear for a 67-69 big block A body and more. Back injuries have sidelined this dream project of mine for better than 20 years, I'm almost 50 now, looking at downsizing/simplifying life thinking it may be time to give it up, day to day life is hard enough for my back to handle. Ebay does not seem to be a very good place to sell anything these days, large/heavy items (engines and such) don't seem worth offering for shipment, especially with transportation costing so much these days. Where would I be most likely to get what the parts are worth? I've been out of touch with the hot rod world for too many years to have a clue. Auto publications, swap meets, local/national car clubs or? Specifics appreciated. I am a recent transplant to Tucson, AZ so if you know of local goings on, please share.

What is a good classic car to buy for osmeone who doesn't know abour cars? 40's to early 60's. plentiful parts, solid... something I can actually drive 4000 mi a year.

What is the easiest classic muscle/pony car to restore? I want to start my first restoration project, but I don't have a lot of experience or money. I think I can commit about $15-18K over the next few years to a car but I don't know what a smart choice would be. I love 68 fastback mustangs, 69 camaros, 68-70 challengers, novas, etc. Anything with a little muscle and style. Any recommendations on a good first project car? I'm not looking to show this car and win awards. I don't have 50,000 to put into it. I just want to build something I can afford and feel proud of putting together. I don't know what cars are easiest to find parts for, or which cars are notorious for anything. Any help would be HUGE! Thanks all!

How to sand a car to prep for paint job? I'm getting ready to paint my car. I'm doing it myself for a number of reasons I don't want to get into. This is a beater car, not a super-expensive car or classic. Just a regular, 9-year-old, commuter car. The only part of the job I'm not completely sure about is the sanding part. In the prep stage, before doing any primer or paint, do I sand dry or wet? and do I use an electric sander or do it by hand? And in the later stages, after each layer of primer and paint, do I sand by hand or with an electric sander? I forgot to mention that there are a couple of layers of bad paint jobs (done by so-called professionals) on 80% of the car, that I need to be sanded through. So, all of the sanding should be done by hand?

My sister and dad were driving my car....? My sister has her permit and crashed my car into another car. The actual accident was the other guy's fault. We thought insurance would cover it, but it turns out the insurance excludes everyone except me. Some irresponsibility on my dads end. So now the love of my life is in the shop and I had nothing to do with the crash...on top of that its a 40 year old classic and parts are hell to find...what can i do? If they arnt included in the list of drivers isnt that as good as not having insurance at all?

how to price and where to selll your average classic cars on the net with bests results? no show cars or restored cars just cars in good shape for their age, value of these cars on the internet and other parts of the country, family owned for years

How do I get a lawyer in San Jose Ca, when I have no money but it is a clear case of theft and embezelment.? I pre paid a body/paint shop $9,000 to work on my cars that I left with him along with many parts.They were to be finished over a year ago. Now he has taken my cars and hidden them and wants another $7,500 and is going to sell my cars if I do not pay him. All my money is in those classic cars. He has cost me thousands in lost sales of these cars. and I dont want him to get away with this.I last saw the cars in July 05 when I gave him a final extension to complete the work he had been paid for. When I went to get them in November he gave me the ultimatum to pay up or loose the cars,which are worth over $80,000 when restored

Olds 85' Calais.. How much is this car worth? A friend just gave me one, excelent condition not a scratch on it, clean interior, original parts, and a heck of a car to drive, how much would someone pay for one of these?I have gotten compliments telling me how good a car it is and how good it looks for its years. Only 73,000 miles on it and never seen another one like this on the road plus its easy on gasoline.... Ive heard itll probably become a classic in some years, can that be true? And how much would someone pay for one right now or how much can it cost later? -ty

where to start car restoring? well i am quite young (high school) but becoming a car restorer has been a dream of mine for as long as i can remember, ive always wanted to experience the thrill of driving that classic beauty knowing that what everybody is staringat is the work of my hands. my question is, are there any cars that people would consider "starter cars"?, i know restoring is about what you want to do. but i mean are there certain projects that would be easyer due to part acessability andcar complexity. or. are there types of projects that would be goot for a first project, regardless of car make model or year? thanks. bye bye

upgrades for a 1966 impala? i have a 1966 impala, given to me by my grandfather. it has not rust, dents, and the color is red w/red interior. the only thing that has been recently put on were brakes and a new starter. what new installations should i make on my car without ruining the classic car feel? i was thinking about uprising doors but would that be ridiculous? last part: its 43 years old and doesn't really have a fast take-off. i don't have a miss, how can i improve this and even do spin-outs?

1994 Ford Bronco - what are your opinions on this truck? A classic worth keeping? I'm just curious to know what you all think of the Ford Bronco in general. I have 94 that i've had for almost 4 years & it has been very good to me for the most part (besides gas mileage of course!). I just paid it off & only drive it part time right now - I have a Ford Taurus i use for a family rig most of the time cuz it gets better mileage, but i like driving my Bronco so much better, & feel much safer in it than my car. The problem is, it has almost 150,000 miles on it & the tranny has been acting up on & off for the past year or so, but no major, obvious problems yet. I know if i try & sell it now, i wont get much as it is a huge gas hog. It has a professional lift kit, large tires, lighted visor, nice paint, side-step thingies (what do you call those?), & other misc. extra's & is overall very nice looking & runs pretty good. I really want to try & keep it as I know they are no longer made & in my opinion they are a classic. What do you think - is it worth it?

I'm thinking about buying a Porsche 944 Turbo? I have about $4,000 and I'm working on growing that sum to something larger. I've read that the timing belt has to be changed every few years and that I'm going to have to maintain the car since it's from the '80s, but other than that I'd love to get this car. I've heard that this car's value is as low as it will be and will soon become a classic. I also discovered that it was made out of Audi/VW parts. Can I use Audi/VW parts on this car to reduce the costs of buying Porsche parts? Is this a good idea? Thanks.

i am thinking about buying a 1975-1987 camaro ! help me please, ? Hello all, ok im am 14 years old, my neighbor is moving and she said that for 200.00 cash i can buy her camaro, i dont no what the year is, i no its between 1975 - 1987, now it has been sitting in front of her drive in weeds for a long time now, i no there are goin to be some things wrong with it after sitting, its a nice blue color, the inside is very nice, i dont no much about this car but its been sitting for a long time now, i was wondering if this car is worth getting? see im getting my permit when i turn 15 and when i turn 16 i wanted to have a nice classic car, is this worth buying fixing, and were my mom works she gets free work done on your cars, all yu have to do is buy the parts, help!!!!!!

NPV,IRR help? The managers of Poncho Parts, Inc. plan to manufacture engine blocks for classic cars from the 1960s era. They expect to sell 250 blocks annually for the next 5 years at a sales price of $3,000. The necessary foundry and machining equipment will cost a total of $800,000 and will be depreciated on a straight-line basis to zero for tax purposes over the project's 5 year life. The salvage value of the manufacturing equipment is $0 at the end of the project. Labor and materials costs total $500 per engine block plus fixed costs are $125,000 per year. Assume a 35% tax rate and a 12% discount rate. Determine the following for this project. a) Payback b) NPV c) Profitability index d)IRR e) Do you recommend this project? Why?

What should I do with my Jeep? I have a 2001 Jeep Cherokee Classic which I love. It's got like 135K miles on it, and I've had to replace some parts but now it runs well. I'm currently deployed for another 8 months or so, so my Jeep just sits, except when my mom drives it to work once or twice a week. She thinks I should sell it and just buy a newer used car or a new car when I get back not not risk having to put a lot of work into my Jeep. However, I think it's worth it to put in a little work into it, and save my deployment money for grad school. Do you think with the mileage that my Jeep had a few more years left in it? I love it and don't want to sell it, but will if it isn't worth it in the long run. I just want it to last me like maybe 4 more years, more if at all possible. Is it worth it? It's currently in southern Ohio, where it's ever too hot, never too cold, so weather won't really have much of an effect on it. My mom drives it to and from work which is about an hour and a half, maybe more round trip, once a week and it's in the garage the rest of the time.

Classic Mustang- How do you...? put in the instrument cluster in a 1964 1/2 Mustang. I have looked at it, and I don't think I'll have any trouble putting the bulbs in the right places (My grandfather labeled everything years ago before he died), but I'm not sure how to attach the (I'm not sure, correct me if I'm wrong) cable to the odometer and speedometer... Is it hard? Also, another question, I know how to change the oil, tranny fluid, etc, but I was told by a mechanic that I need to prime the engine so that all of the parts are oiled before we start up the car (so It won't jam or damage the engine) We pretty much dropped a new engine (302, it used to be a 289) and it ran, but it's sat for three and a half years. So how do you prime the engine? Is that hard.. (I haven't worked on cars like this for a while, and I don't remember much.) Are there any sites that explain this, or can someone just find pictures and show me. I have a lot of work to do- put the carpet in, seats in, panels, and then drive it to a shop because it won't go into third.

which car should i buy? ? ok right now i'm driving a 2003 merc c180 classic - going to trade it in soon for something similar (probably) in the small exec market. im factoring for between £3k and £4k part exchange and have £8 over and above that to spend. Obviously it is going to be used (up to 3 years and less than/equal to 30k miles). Any suggestions? I find the c180 ride to be boring if not dependable... hence seriously considering buying a new (old) c class. Thanks

Classic VW Beetle Performance? I've been investigating a project car for some time and i was thinking about the older Beetles the other day and they seem like a perfect project car. Rear wheel drive, Rear engine, Lightweight and if driven on the street they get good MPG. What more could u ask for? I'm really just looking for some insight on the subject of performance beetles. Air cooled or water cooled? Engine size? Any years better then the others? (i know they r basically all the same with minor differences). Any places or websites i could find performance parts? I don't think I've ever even rode in an older beetle so any and all help will be GREATLY appreciated thank you. This car will be street driven but main focus will be on performance.

how much for a vr6 swap into a g60? i wanted to tune a corrado but i cant find any good information cause im a newbie to VW i tune hondas nissan basically jdm but i wanted to get into the corrado i know that the vr6 is the best engine for the corrado but what year from what car what liter etc maybe a website of how to tune VW corrado or an engine land website to see the pricing oh will it be more expensive then a honda tune up i know it will but for parts you get me how much more and seeing that the corrado is a classic will it be harder for me to get parts i live in cali los angeles so its harder for us to get parts

2 Classic TV shows: make it a HAPPY memory? 1. Both shows are clean. 2. Both shows do not make any references to products. It was not necessary, the film producers felt. 3. The stories are original stories, with possible exceptions in regard to TV shows made in the 40's or before. 4. The shows make obvious commentaries on government control, war, and other human issues not related to race, creed or color. 5. The soundtracks are pleasing, with recurring themes, much like in today's movies. It had a pleasing effect on the viewer. 6. These old TV programs are not "hokey", and command NICE prices. 7. Loyalty and friendship between the main characters. They are friends.. 8. The programs are multiple genre, science-fiction, action, western. 9. The programs have obviously proved their staying power, that they have so much entertainment quality that people still like them after 40(forty) years. 10. The producers and directors of the shows are not using the shows to push their political, cultural, economic or environmental views and goals upon the viewer. In Star Trek war was treated as an ethical issue, usually. 11. Humor was a basic part of the shows. The viewer did not change or turn off the television feeling depressed or that there was no hope. 12. Instead of a reality show, there was a reality check in any program, to remind the viewer it is a TV program, and not reality. 12. There was always a little happy or humorous note at the end of the show. But not always if the story was very serious. 13. The shows are my cure for nostalgia. 14. The babes are finer than any I can think of that Cosmo can. 15. They're both available on DVD, without the used car commercials.

mustang 65 v8 ? I found a 65 4 barrel mustan v-8 with a 289 manual 4 speed tranny the car have headers and flowmasters,the a/c works and looks good for being that old no bondo minor scratches the car runs but it's being sitting in the guy garange for like 10 years so I have to change all the fluids and some other parts he want's 6k is this a good deal for how much this cars go the parts for this car aren't that hard to find cuz is one of the mayor classics so some stores carry the parts or other ones sell the aftermarket so is not that hard and they are expensive but not that much theres no rust on this car I will say is like 85% restored

FREELOTTO?is it TRUE or LIE?PLEASE HELP & THANKS!? I think this is a scam,so be careful & stay away from this website.NO free.................................

does anyone want to read this ( i know its so wierd but maybe any yahooligans here wanted to see it ) caution! The Basics Where does fart gas come from? The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts. What is fart gas made of? The composition of fart gas is highly variable. Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane. But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart. The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of boring, inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine. A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen. Encyclopaedia Britannica offers the intriguing statement that some people's farts contain no methane. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the anomaly is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells. What makes farts stink? The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts. Why do farts make noise? The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. How much gas does a normal person pass per day? On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell. How does a fart travel to the anus? One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids, and should therefore travel upwards. The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus. Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won't get very far due to the complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying down. How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose? Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever. Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls. Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell? Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them. Is it true that some people never fart? No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death. Do even movie stars fart? Yes, of course. So do grandmothers, priests, kings, presidents, opera singers, beauty queens, and nuns. Even Yoda farts. Do men fart more than women? No, women fart just as much as men. It's just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender. I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do. Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts? Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not. At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart? A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household. Why are beans so notorious for making people fart? Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas! Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence. What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual? People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence. Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end? No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps. Is it harmful to hold in farts? There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much. How long would it be possible to not fart? As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans-Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake! Do all people fart in their sleep? I have not made a scientific study of this, but I don't think all people fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to fart when they're awake do so when dozing off. For other people, toilet training takes such a strong hold that they let nothing pass their sphincters in sleep. For these people, the gas accumlates in the night and they vent it upon awakening. Where do farts go when you hold them in? How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it? I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it? The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed. How can one cover up a fart? There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart. CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!" Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can. Is it really possible to ignite farts? The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is not more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, you might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon. Why is it possible to burn farts? Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame. Is it possible to light a match with a fart? No, even strike-anywhere matches have their limits, unless the fart has the consistency of sandpaper! Any fart that rough I would hesitate to call a fart. Also, farts have the same temperature as the body from which they emerge, and aren't hot enough to initiate combustion. Are there any books about farting? There are several! My favorite is the new book, Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson. This book provides an entertaining and thought-provoking history of the fart in literature, language and society. It is very informative and very funny! Ben Franklin's classic Fart Proudly is still in print. There is a collection of suggestive photographs called Who Farted Now by St. Martin's Press. Most of the photos come from old movies and political shots. For children, we have the famous The Gas We Pass : The Story of Farts by Shinta Cho, and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum (Translator), and the Canadian picture book, Good Families Don't, by Alan Daniel and Robert N. Munsch, about a highly visible fart infesting a proper middle class family. Is it possible for a talented person to earn a living through flatulence? Few people earn their living directly via flatulence. But a friend of mine says that he saw a carnival act in which the performer whistled tunes with his farts, blew out candles on the opposite side of the stage, and sent flames all the way across the stage. A famous performer who earned his living this way was Le Petomane, who performed in France at the beginning of the 20th Century. However, my friend isn't old enough to have seen Le Petomane, so maybe he had a chance to see Mr. Methane. Mr. Methane lays claim to the distinction of being the world's only performing flatulist. His CD can be purchased at the FartMart. However, people may also earn a living through the prevention of flatulence (as do the manufacturers and sellers of Beano and other products), through the practice of medicine specializing in the treatment of flatulence and other gastrointestinal problems, by writing books about flatulence (see the question before this one), and through the production and sales of various fart gags such as whoopee cushions and farts in a can. Fartypants sells a fart filter and a number of other fart-related products. Ultratech Products, Inc., sells the Flatulence Filter, "an activated carbon air filter disguised as a seat cushion." (This link was discovered by Steve of Boulder, CO.) Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll be able to find a copy of Le Petomane's biography by searching at alibris.com. Last time I checked, they had two copies available! What other fart products are available? You can visit the FartMart to obtain an astounding number of wonderful fart products, including the famous Crepitation Contest CD, and several other recordings, Pull-My-Finger Fred (a doll that responds with farts and wisecracks), whoopie cushions and a variety of other fart-noise generating products (some of which are quite high tech), some products which produce a fart-like odor, prosthetic poop, fart sludge, and the famous Fart Machine. Why do dog and cat farts smell so bad? A carnivore's protein-rich diet produces relatively small amounts of intensely stinky gas because proteins contain lots of sulfur. A dog's or cat's farts are rarely audible, but the odor is overwhelming. I have asked biologists why dogs and cats generally fart silently, and their theories include: (1) the amount of gas produced is small, but potent, (2) the horizontal orientation of their gastrointestinal system puts less pressure on the anal opening, so the gas is expelled more slowly, (3) their anal sphincters don't close as tightly as humans' because it takes less force to hold in the contents of the colon -- again because of the horizontal orientation of the gastrointestinal system -- and a loose anus makes less sound, and, my favorite (4) dogs and cats don't feel embarrassed about farting, so their sphincters are more relaxed, leading to less noisy flatulence. Mike F. points out that many dog foods are soy-based, so on top of all the above factors, add beans and stand back! Large herbivorous animals such as cows, horses and elephants, on the other hand, produce vast quantities of relatively non-stinky fart gas. The farts of these animals are noisy and can go on for astoundingly long periods of time. Cows in particular are productive, in part because they swallow huge amounts of air. They need oxygen in their guts for the various protozoa employed there as digestive aids. Is it normal for dogs to like the smell of human farts? Yes, any odor that we find disgusting smells delicious to a dog. Dogs respond to the smell of farts, rotting fish, and carrion the same way we respond to the smell of bacon frying or cookies baking. A dog will often sniff the butt of the farter in order to inhale as much of the odor as possible. I have heard only one story about a dog being disconcerted by a fart. According to a friend, her brother once delivered a fart so evil that it made the dog sneeze, shake his head, and paw at his nose. That was either an unusual fart or an unusual dog. Do fish fart? According to our ichthyologist at the University of Guam, fish flatulence per se has not been studied, although people have investigated fish digestion. They find that although most fish have alkaline intestinal environments like our own, coral-eating fish have acidic intestinal contents. The acid serves to dissolve coral skeletal material. Coral has the same composition as Tums (calcium carbonate). One product of the reaction between acid and calcium carbonate is carbon dioxide gas. Therefore, it is logical to assume that coral-eating fish fart a lot. The other fish probably fart also, for the same reasons that we do. However, Mike Pulte, a great fish enthusiast, said that he has never seen a fish do it. I asked our ichthyologist if it were possible that fish gas would go into the swim bladder instead of out the anal opening. He said that modern fish have an air bladder that is independent of the gastrointestinal tract. The gas comes from enzymatic activity and not from the intestine. Older models of fish have their swim bladder connected to the gastrointestinal tract, but it is attached high up, closer to the mouth than to the other end, and these fish come to the surface and gulp air to fill the bladder. Therefore, we can assume that intestinal gas leaves the fish through the anal opening. We also pondered the possibility of fish making noise via flatulence, but apparently most fish noises are made through belching rather than farting. Lisa P., an aquarium enthusiast, reports that she has seen her fish fart: "I have four aquariums and many fish, and I have personally witnessed fish farting! My goldfish used to do it all the time! You'd see a little bubble come out of his anus and stay there, trapped in the mucus of a long string of poop. (Ugh!) And my opaline gourami does it too. Neither of these are coral-eating fish. I have only owned two coral-eating fish so far, but I have never seen either of them fart. It seems most likely to me that much of this gas comes from air swallowed during eating. Also, goldfish have a very simple digestive system and their food is absorbed inefficiently, so possibly the bacteria have more to feed on" Do turtles fart? Yes, turtles do fart, and their farts smell incredibly bad, as do the farts of snakes. In fact, it is my opinion, based on personal experience with reptiles and not on any formal research, that many reptiles use farts as a weapon. Reptile farts smell so bad that sometimes you can tell that one is nearby in the woods, even on a windy day, before you can see the animal. One day I was hiking through the woods in Arkansas with a friend and I told my friend, "I smell a snake fart." A second later, the snake crawled across the path. Astounding but true! In an article published in the December 2000 issue of Discover, "the world's leading expert on snake sounds," Bruce Young of LaFayette College in Easton, Pennsylvania, affirmed that snakes do fart. The sonoran coral snake and the western hook-nosed snake fart with an audible popping sound when disturbed. Why do horse farts smell worse than people's farts? I'm not sure that horse farts smell worse than our farts, but they do smell different. Horses have a different diet from us and different gut microbes, so their farts have a different composition. They also fart more voluminously than humans, and the volume of the gas can be overwhelming if one is unfortunate enough to be near a farting horse indoors. What kind of animal has the highest worldwide output of flatulence? Believe it or not, the animal that wins this honor is the humble termite. Because of their diet and digestive processes (with more than the usual microbial assistance), they produce as much methane as human industry. Termite farts are believed to be a major contributor towards global warming. Is it true that cow farts contribute to global warming? Recent research has shown that most methane produced by cows and sheep emerges from the mouth rather than the anus. So one could more accurately say that cow and sheep belches are contributing to global warming. New Zealand researchers are investigating methods of breeding methane-free sheep. Is there any kind of animal that doesn't fart? If we define a fart to be an anal escape of intestinal gas, then it follows that animals that lack intestines or an anus cannot fart. Most animals possess intestines and an anus, but there are some that don't. These include: Sponges: These organisms lack true tissues and organs. They have just a few types of cells organized into a bag with holes in it. Water flows into some holes and out other holes. Sponges are so different from other animals that some biologists think we shouldn't even call them animals. Cnidaria: This phylum includes the jellyfish, corals, sea anemones and hydra. Their tissues are organized into a bag with a mouth surrounded by stinging tentacles. Food enters the mouth and is digested inside the bag, after which the leftovers are expelled via the same opening. In effect, the same hole serves as both a mouth and an anus. Any gas expelled by a cnidarian would be more appropriately termed a belch rather than a fart, since the animal lacks intestines and separate anus. Pogonophoran worms: These remarkable animals, who dwell on the sea floor near active volcanic regions associated with mid-ocean ridges, possess no mouth, no stomach, no intestines, and no anus. Apparently they retain their svelte, worm-shaped figures by giving up on eating completely! They survive by means of a mutualistic relationship with chemosynthetic bacteria that live in their flesh. Anyway, these animals cannot possibly fart. A second category of animals that probably don't fart are animals that live very deep underwater. At high pressures, gas remains in solution rather than forming bubbles. So there is a good chance that all those clams, echinoderms, fish and other animals living near the seafloor don't fart because their farts stay in solution and never emerge as bubbles, even though the animals possess perfectly good intestines and anuses. Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it? Judging from what I see when I do the laundry, I'd say that the answer to the first question is definitely yes. As for the causes, we must remember that what we call "fart" and what we call "poop" are just end-members of a continuum. That is, we can have a pure fart, or a pure poop, or anything in-between, depending upon the admixture of the two. If a sample consists mostly of poop with only a small fart component, you get such things as jet-propelled bowel movements and spongy, floating fecal masses (you know, the ones that refuse to be flushed down the toilet -- they keep popping back up). If the sample consists mostly of fart with only a small poop component, you get what is known as "skid marks" or "fart art." These can also result from inadequate wiping, but the shape of the stain is different in the two cases. Inadequate wiping leads to elongate marks parallel to one's crack, usually with well-defined edges, whereas fart art is generally more circular and has an air-brushed look. Fart art is most likely to occur if (1) a person is suffering from diarrhea, (2) the person is trying too hard to fart, and (3) the person mistakenly perceives the pressure against his sphincter to be gas pressure rather than liquid pressure. Again, that last situation is most likely to occur if the person is afflicted with diarrhea. How can we tell when it's only gas needing to come out, rather than something more serious? Our ability to distinguish between the need to fart and the need to poop is something that we learn gradually in the process of toilet training and early childhood. With the tactile nerve endings in the rectal area, we can actually feel different sensations depending upon what is waiting by the exit. Of course, sometimes we are fooled, especially if the substance at hand is extremely fluid in nature, and that is when we have the unfortunate accident of venting a squirt of diarrhea rather than an innocent fart. What is the best position for farting? That depends on what you are trying to achieve. Years and years ago, I read a novel (can't remember which) that had a character in it who was plagued with intestinal gas pain. The character would coax farts out by getting down on all fours with her butt in the air, pressing her thighs against her belly. So perhaps this is the best position for farting if you are having difficulty getting them to come out. Back when I was in geology field camp, we would sit around the campfire in the evening and ignite our flatulence. It was a ritual. When a fart was ready to emerge, the farter would announce, "I have one." And everyone else would intone, "Assume the proper position." The farter would lie back on his or her shoulders with back propped up, head between the knees, and posterior in the air. The purpose was to give the person with the match easy access to the critical vent. Expert farters of my acquaintance often shift their weight onto one leg and lift the other slightly when farting. I assume that this position is adopted less to aid in the farting process than to signal that a fart is imminent. Why do chicks always deny farting? I suppose I should start by saying that only some chicks deny farting. The rest of us acknowledge our gaseous accomplishments with pride. However, a great many sisters do deny farting. The reason is that they have been misled into thinking that farts are not ladylike. It is a great mistake to say that farting is not ladylike. The reason is that all people fart, including ladies. Anything that ladies do is by definition ladylike, and that includes the emission of anal gases. Is it possible that, by inhaling other people's farts all day long, my own farts will smell more? No, inhaled farts would go into the lungs rather than into the digestive system, and would simply be exhaled again, although it might be possible that some of the fart components might be absorbed into the blood. If you wanted to benefit from other people's farts in the way you describe, you would have to swallow them somehow. Is it possible to get stoned after inhaling two or three farts in a row? I am not aware of any intoxicating agents in flatulence. However, most farts contain very little oxygen, and you may experience dizziness if you are inhaling overly concentrated fart essence, simply from lack of oxygen. On the other hand, if you are inhaling farts in the open air and are breathing rapidly in order to inhale as much fart as possible, you may be hyperventilating, which also induces dizziness. Then there is the intrinsic hilarity factor: farts are so funny in both sound and odor that you might feel high just from the basic entertainment value of farts. Is it possible for a fart to kill you? A great many of you have asked if farts can be fatal, or if you can die from smelling a particularly bad fart. My initial response to this question was "no," but I thought I'd better ask a doctor. So now it is official, the medical opinion I received is no, a fart can't kill you. However, if you really work hard at it, you can manage to kill yourself with just about anything. I recently read of a man who hooked up his nose to his anus with a system involving a gas mask, rubber tubing and a hollow wooden post. He died of suffocation. This story comes from the Darwin Awards, and I personally cannot attest to the overall veracity of their stories. The story of the bed-bound obese man who died from inhaling his own flatulence (and whose farts almost killed the paramedics) is an urban legend that has been in circulation for some time. But according to Buzzbomb43, whom I quote: "In World War Two, the Air Force estimates that around 1000 to 2000 airmen were killed because of flatulence. The reason is B-17 bombers were not pressurized, so when bomber crews operated around 20,000 feet, the gas would expand and rupture their intestines." Now, that is a nasty way to go! There are also, of course, (in)famous stories about excessive farters that bio-hazard small toilet rooms, and when they try to light a cigarette the flame ignites the gas-rich-environment causing an explosion. My personal view about such stories is one of doubt. When you smoke and you fart does it make it smell any worse? (Brittney) Only if you swallow the cigarettes after smoking Brittney. If you settle for traditional smoking (inhaling) - the smoke will travel to your respiratory system and not to your digestive system and hence will have little-to-no effect on the odour of your farts. Of course, a minute mass of smoked Nicotine can (and does) migrate from the respiratory system into blood vessels and downstream to the digestive system (Nicotine is actually a known laxative), but the proportions are too small to contribute dearly to the odours you contribute. However, if you do swallow your cigarettes after smoking - its a different ball game. Cigarettes are produced with measures of Ammonia which certainly intensify gaseous odours. My advise for you therefore is not to swallow. I am guessing the reason why certain people think cigarettes might intensify the bad smell of a fart has to do with the fact both farts and cigarettes produce bad odours. I don't think however that this is a case of competing bad odours that in blend will create a third - even worst odour. Last, while I do not advise you to ever quit farting - I do strongly advise to quit smoking. Can excessive farting cause impotence? That depends on the tolerance level of the person with whom one is trying to be potent! Fortunately for humans, farting doesn't cause tissue damage. Other animals aren't so lucky. Soldier termites can actually turn themselves into bombs by detonating themselves via the explosive release of gas and feces, a process called "autothysis." Is it possible to inhale (suck in air) via one's anal opening? Yes, but it's a rare talent. The great early 20th Century French flatulist, Le Petomane, was able to do this, and in fact was able to suck up an entire bowlful of water (just the water, not the bowl) into his colon and expel it again with considerable force. By sucking in large quantities of air, he was able to perform lengthy shows on stage, and could imitate musical instruments, farm animals, and bird songs, whistle melodies, and play the ocarina. His productions were said to be virtually odorless, which is to be expected from air obtained directly from the outside. Here is a message I received recently (November, 1999) regarding the skill of inhaling via the anus: "i would just like you to know that i am part of a trio, who can suck in air in our anal openings. we are somewhat air-bandits. we can let the longest farts you have ever heard. our record holder, chad, stands at 24 sec. the record for most farts in a row is derek, at 492. and i, robert, have earned such nicknames as: Mad Crapper, gurglemeister, and old wetful. We have followed Le Petomane example, and have mastered the art of farting." Jason W. says, "I am a 16 year old guy that is a part of a 3-man fart on command group. We get together every Saturday night andpractice our talent to songs with a good beat. We accomplish this by getting on our hands and knees, completely relaxing, and our butt hole just opens up and air just seeps into our colons. We then get into position and let them rip. We can so far play a song called "THE EYE OF THE TIGER" (Rocky 3 theme song). We came across another group of 4 guys that can do this during the winter of 2001. We started to get together with them more frequently, and now we have a full fledged band going all on farting...We are going to try to make a CD on some songs we know, but no one wants to let us...I personally have let a fart go for about 75 seconds. On average each Saturday night we let off about 1000 farts EACH! The only problem with flatulating when we want is that now 2 of us can't help but sucking in air through our anus when we sit down." Jason has also provided the following instructions for people who would like to acquire this skill: 1) Get a pillow and a soft surface. 2) Place your ear on the pillow with your head turned sideways. 3) Put your butt up in the air, bringing your knees as close up to your head as possible. This relaxes your anal opening. 4) Once you're relaxed enough, you should feel a strange sensation...this is air traveling into your colon. 5) Through practice you will be able to do this by just sitting down. Adam reports that a student at his high school, known as "The King" could fart "God Save the Queen" by alternately inhaling and exhaling through his anus. The students refered to the inhaling process as "input." Is it possible to swallow smoke and then fart it out your anus? No, smoke consists of solid particles suspended in air. When such a mixture enters the digestive system, the solids condense on the walls and other objects in the gut, or go into suspension in liquids in the system. However, for people capable of inhaling through the anus, it is possible to smoke a cigarette with the anal opening and then blow the smoke back out. What causes the burning sensation that sometimes accompanies a fart? This is generally caused by a recent meal of hot peppers or related spices. The oils associated with these foods remain intact and active all the way through one's gastrointestinal system. If you fart in the bathtub, is the water polluted and should you refill the tub? As long as what comes out is only fart and no poop, your bath water should not be significantly polluted. Most of the gas just bubbles up and contaminates the air rather than the water. Is it true that a woman can fart out of her, shall we say, frontal opening, and if so, where does the gas come from? Yes, it is true! The gas that emerges is simply trapped air, for there is no gas production in the genitalia of a woman. The air can enter because the system is open to the outside. This highly specialized kind of fart is sometimes called a queef. This occurs especially frequently during the sex act, when air in the genitalia gets compressed and is forced out at high pressure. Can a man fart out of his genital opening? I have asked various men this question and they all deny it emphatically. However, elrondh contributed the information that under certain rare and artificially-induced circumstances, a man might pass gas through his penis. In this case, the man's bladder had been inflated for a medical procedure, the air introduced via catheter inserted through the urethra. This gas escaped during later attempts to urinate, "accompanied by a brief but sharp burning sensation." Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use? It should be theoretically possible to do this, but there would be lots of logistical problems. I would suggest using a plastic bag instead of a jar. You might try the following as a science fair experiment: Fart into several plastic bags and seal them carefully. Then fill several other plastic bags with ordinary air. Wait 24 hours. Then get volunteers to smell the contents of the bags to see if they can correctly identify which ones contain the farts. This should tell you if it is possible to store a fart in any useful way. Malachi and Megaera have come up with a way to capture a fart in a jar. They say to do it in the bathtub while bathing. Fill the jar with bath water and then hold it with the open end downward. Lean back in the bathtub so that your fart bubbles will emerge in front of you rather than behind you where you can't see them. Catch the bubbles in the jar, and put the lid on the jar while it's still underwater. This way, you capture a fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air. To enjoy your captured fart to the fullest extent, make sure that your jar does not already smell like whatever was it it before, like pickles or peanut butter. Meep wrote to say that her fiancé was an expert fart collector at the age of ten. He used Kodak film canisters, and kept them on a shelf in his room. Experiments on his mother proved the efficacy of his method. Is it weird to enjoy farting? It is not unusual to enjoy farting. I believe that enjoyment of farting is a healthy attitude, since everyone has to fart. If a person is farting to the extent that it creates problems and unhappiness, then a visit to a doctor is in order. Is it common for people to enjoy smelling their own farts? I believe that it is not only common, it is universal. A person farts and then thinks, at least subconsciously, "Wow, I made that!" Can farting be considered sexy? Everything imaginable, and many things not imaginable, can be considered sexy by humans. However, the female southern pine beetle exudes a pheromone called frontalin in her flatulence that not only serves to attract males but acts as a general gathering call to both males and females of her species. Her farts are an invitation to an orgy. Unfortunately for her, her frontalin-laden farts also attract predators. What color is a fart? Farts are, alas, colorless. All of the gases that make up farts have no inherent color. But just think of how interesting it would be if farts were bright orange like nitrogen dioxide gas! It would certainly take the mystery out of who farted. Never-the-less, a high-personality gas like fart gas suggests color to people. Some people envision farts as brown, others as green or yellow. I have always thought of farts as brown, presumably because poop is brown. When someone farts in our car, that person might say, "You better not breathe through your mouth for awhile, or your teeth will turn brown." I knew a toddler who used to draw pictures of farts as yellow rectangles full of holes, like a slice of Swiss cheese. She thought of farts as yellow, and said that she knew they were rectangular because she could feel the sharp corners scraping against her on the way out! Ernie C. suggests that if farts were visible, they would look like pork rinds. Helen says, "It always seemed to me like farts were lumps of coal, black in color and irregularly spherical in shape." Do other people smell a fart better than the farter? The fart should smell just as much for the person who created it as it does for other people. However, the farter is somewhat protected by having the fart propelled away from his body in a direction opposite to his nose. Farting upwind nullifies this advantage. Why is it that when you scratch your *** through two layers of clothing (your underwear and your jeans) your fingers still stink? As pointed out by Barb F., who contributed the term to the fart thesaurus, a fart can be regarded as "aerosolized poop," which means that microscopic fragments and droplets of poop are actually distributed throughout the gaseous matrix of the fart. When delivered from the anus with some force, the components of the fart can penetrate one's clothing and these tiny particles can be trapped in the fibers of the cloth. The particles are transferred to your fingers and then your nose when you scratch and sniff. Why is it sometimes possible to taste farts? The sense of taste detects substances that are either liquid or dissolved in liquid. You can taste a fart when the fart's constituent molecules go into solution in your saliva. Do fart particles disperse in the air and float around until they hit something and then stick to it? The ultimate fate of fart particles depends on the nature of the particles. Gas molecules mostly mix into the atmosphere, although some may react chemically to form new substances. Aerosolized particles of liquid and solid poop probably do condense on surfaces. Most of these particles are polar (with a positively charged end and a negatively charged end) and are attracted to other polar substances or charged surfaces like a monitor screen. Other fart particles condense on microscopic water droplets in the air if the humidity is very high (as in a bathroom), and some particles go into solution in water. Is it possible to have bloody farts? Yes, this can happen if you are suffering from an anal fissure, a split in the wall of the colon. It can also happen to a woman who experiences a queef during her period. Why do farts seem to follow the farter? I'm sure that everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in which one delivers oneself forth of a silent but potent gaseous emission and then steps rapidly away, only to have the fart cling to one's person. Part of the reason for this annoying characteristic of farts is the turbulence that follows in the wake of a moving person. The fart "slip streams" or is actually pulled along in the farter's direction by the air currents behind the person. Another factor is that part of the fart is caught in the farter's clothing, and diffuses out slowly after the main part of the emission has dispersed. Why do farts smell so much worse in a shower than anywhere else? There are several factors. First of all, a shower is a small, enclosed space, so the fart gas is more concentrated, and the high turbidity of the air in the shower circulates the gas through the space effectively. Secondly, the high humidity and high temperature conditions in the shower enhance a person's sense of smell and taste. The farts don't actually smell worse, it's just that we can smell them better than usual. Similar conditions prevail in the bathtub. What would happen if someone farted on Venus? If Venus's surface temperature were a mere 200 to 300 degrees Fahrenheit, liquid water could exist there because of Venus's extremely high atmospheric pressure. But the temperature on Venus is almost 900 degrees Fahrenheit. Because humans are mostly water, a person would not simply emit gas on Venus, but would become gas, a whole-body fart. Venus already has a lot of sulfur compounds in its atmosphere, so a fart on Venus probably wouldn't even produce much of a smell. If you were in space without a suit, would a fart have the energy to propel you forward? Yes, a fart should propel you forward, since there is virtually no opposing force in the form of friction or gravity to counteract the force of the fart. Is it possible to freeze farts, and would they still be smelly after they are defrosted? The water vapor component of farts would freeze quite readily, but to freeze the entire fart would require high pressure and low temperature conditions such as that used to produce dry ice. The fart's composition would be unchanged by the process, and hence would still be smelly upon reversion to the gaseous state. Is it possible for a fart to rip your underwear? This is unlikely, because most underwear is made of material with a fairly high tensile strength, meaning that it can endure a certain level of extensional stress without brittle failure. Furthermore, the porous nature of underwear fabrics allows much of the fart's force to pass through the spaces rather than to stress the fabric. Where does the word "fart" come from? According to Eric Partridge in his excellent book of word origins (Origins: A Short Etymological Dictionary of Modern English), our word fart comes from the Old English word feortan, presumably of echoic origin, meaning that the word was chosen to sound like the object named. When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath? Now, that's an interesting idea! My guess would be yes, since farts are nice and moist like our breath, but this is one question that I'm not in a position to answer. I live in the tropics, and it never gets cold here. Several people have tried the experiment and have written to tell me the results. Most people said that they could indeed see their farts, but one person said that he couldn't see it even with his pants off. Here is what anywhere32 reported: "In the boys' locker room after morning water polo practice it was cold out and one of the players only had on his speedo and let out a fart. About four of us saw it and couldn't contain our laughter for the rest of the day." John of the UK said, "Farts expelled in cold air leave what can only be described as a long bushy tail. This is quite funny waiting on a train station platform on a cold dark frosty morning. A person will move away from everyone to a safe distance, and then release a long quiet fart, only to have a sudden and dramatic long bushy white tail coming from their anus; it goes down a little way and slowly curves up ending in a point, just like a dogs tail!" What are some other words for fart? The word "fart" is both a noun (referring to the substance and the sound), and a verb (referring to the act of farting). i seriously have no idea how this was posted as r & s!!!! but i hope u enjoy it as wierd as it is! i just copied and pasted it!! i thought it was funny

97 Trans Am Electrical Problem Part 1? 11 years and 121,000 miles, she is no spring chicken. But here is my issue or should I say issues. When I start the car, I get a delay. I have the key all the way forward and I get nothing. Then (only occasionally), it starts, shuts offs, starts back up. All the lights on the dash stay on but the car runs as normal. I shut the car off, wait a minute, starts right back up. After driving for a short period (couple miles) and park, when I leave I get the classic dead battery when I turn the car over. What could be the issue? Need a new battery, alternator or starter? As a side note, three years ago, this car was a daily driver. I would drive this car over 200 miles a week for work. Since then, I have put a total of 3700 miles on the car in the last 20 months.

What is the lesson of this story? David Pradarelli Assalam-aleikum wa rahmatullah! I came to Islam pretty much on my own. I was born and raised Roman Catholic, but I always had a deep fascination with the spiritualities of other cultures. My Journey started when I desired to have a relationship with my creator. I wanted to find my spirituality, and not the one I was born with. I spent some time in the Catholic religious order known as the Franciscans. I had many friends and I enjoyed prayer times, but it just seemed to relaxed in its faith, and there was, in my opinion, too much arrogance and hypocrisy. When I had returned back from the order into secular living again, I once again was searching for my way to reach God (Allah). One night I was watching the news on television, and of course they were continuing their one-sided half-truth reports on Muslims (always in a negative light instead of balancing it by showing the positive side as well) with images of violence and terrorism. I decided long ago that the news media has no morals whatsoever and will trash anyone for that "juicy story", and I pretty much refused to believe anything they said. I decided to research Islam for myself and draw my own conclusions. What I found paled all the negative images that the satanic media spewed forth. I found a religion deep in love and spiritual truth, and constant God-mindfullness. What may be fanatacism to one person may be devotion to another. I picked up a small paperback Qur'an and began devouring everything I could. It opened my eyes to the wonder and mercy of ALLAH, and I found the fascination growing every day...it was all I could think about. No other religion including Catholicism impacted me in such a powerful way...I actually found myself in God-awareness 24 hours a day 7 days a week...each time I went to my five daily prayers, I went with anticipation...finally! What I have been searching for all of my life. I finally got enough courage to go to a mosque and profess the Shahadah before my Muslm brothers and sisters. I now am a practicing Muslim and I thank ALLAH for leading me to this place: Ashhahdu anna la ilaha ilallah wa Muhammadur rasul ALLAH! This means: "I believe in the oneness and totalness of ALLAH and that Muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him)is the chosen prophet of ALLAH." I now also accept Jesus as no longer equal with ALLAH, but sent as Muhammad was sent ...to bring all of mankind to submission to the will of ALLAH! May all of mankind find the light and truth of ALLAH. Ibrahim Karlsson I was born in an ordinary , non-religious Swedish home, but with a very loving relationship to each other. I had lived my life 25 years without really thinking about the existence of God or anything spiritual what-so-ever; I was the role model of the materialistic man. Or was I? I recall a short story I wrote in 7th grade, something about my future life, where I portray myself as a successful games programmer (I hadn't yet even touched a computer) and living with a Muslim wife!! OK, at that time Muslim to me meant dressing in long clothes and wearing a scarf, but I have no idea where those thoughts came from. Later, in high school, I remember spending much time in the school-library (being a bookworm) and at one time I picked up a translated Qur'an and read some passages from it. I don't remember exactly what I read, but I do remember finding that what it said made sense and was logical to me. Still, I was not at all religious, I couldn't fit God in my universe, and I had no need of any god. I mean, we have Newton to explain how the universe works, right? Time passed, I graduated and started working. Earned some money and moved to my own apartment, and found a wonderful tool in the PC. I became a passionate amateur photographer, and enrolled in activities around that. At one time I was documenting a marketplace, taking snapshots from a distance with my telelens when an angry looking immigrant came over and explained that he would make sure I wasn't going to take any more pictures of his mum and sisters. Strange people those Muslims... More things related to Islam happened that I can't explain why I did what I did. I can't recall the reason I called the "Islamic information organisation" in Sweden, ordering a subscription to their newsletter, buying Yosuf Ali's Qur'an and a very good book on Islam called Islam - our faith. I just did! I read almost all of the Qur'an, and found it to be both beautiful and logical, but still, God had no place in my heart. One year later, whilst out on a patch of land called "pretty island" (it really is) taking autumn-color pictures, I was overwhelmed by a fantastic feeling. I felt as if I were a tiny piece of something greater, a tooth on a gear in God's great gearbox called the universe. It was wonderful! I had never ever felt like this before, totally relaxed, yet bursting with energy, and above all, total awareness of god wherever I turned my eyes. I don't know how long I stayed in this ecstatic state, but eventually it ended and I drove home, seemingly unaffected, but what I had experienced left uneraseable marks in my mind. At this time Microsoft brought Windows-95 to the market with the biggest marketing blitz known to the computer industry. Part of the package was the on-line service The Microsoft Network. And keen to know what is was I got myself an account on the MSN. I soon found that the Islam BBS were the most interesting part of the MSN, and that's where I found Shahida. Shahida is a American woman, who like me has converted to Islam. Our chemistry worked right away, and she became the best pen-friend I have ever had. Our e-mail correspondence will go down in history: the fact that my mailbox grew to something like 3 megabytes over the first 6 months tells its own tale. She and I discussed a lot about Islam and faith in god in general, and what she wrote made sense to me. Shahida had an angels patience with my slow thinking and my silly questions, but she never gave up the hope in me. Just listen to your heart and you'll find the truth she said. And I found the truth in myself sooner than I'd expected. On the way home from work, in the bus with most of the people around me asleep, and myself adoring the sunset, painting the beautifully dispersed clouds with pink and orange colours, all the parts came together, how God can rule our life, yet we're not robots. How I could depend on physics and chemistry and still believe and see Gods work. It was wonderful, a few minutes of total understanding and peace. I so long for a moment like this to happen again! And it did, one morning I woke up, clear as a bell, and the first thought that ran through my brain was how grateful to God I were that he made me wake up to another day full of opportunities. It was so natural, like I had been doing every day of my life! After these experiences I couldn't no longer deny God's existence. But after 25 years of denying God it was no easy task to admit his existence and accept faith. But good things kept happening to me, I spent some time in the US, and at this time I started praying, testing and feeling, learning to focus on God and to listen to what my heart said. It all ended in a nice weekend in New York, of which I had worried a lot, but it turned out to be a success, most of all, I finally got to meet Shahida! At this point there was no return, I just didn't know it yet. But God kept leading me, I read some more, and finally got the courage to call the nearest Mosque and ask for a meeting with some Muslims. With trembling legs I drove to the mosque, which I had passed many times before, but never dared to stop and visit. I met the nicest people there, and I was given some more reading material, and made plans to come and visit the brothers in their home. What they said, and the answers they gave all made sense. Islam became a major part of my life, I started praying regularly, and I went to my first Jumma prayer. It was wonderful, I sneaked in, and sat in the back, not understanding a word the imam was saying, but still enjoying the service. After the khutba we all came together forming lines, and made the two 'rakaas'. It was yet one of the wonderful experiences I have had on my journey to Islam. The sincerity of 200 men fully devoted to just one thing, to praise God, felt great! Slowly my mind started to agree with my heart, I started to picture myself as a Muslim, but could I really convert to Islam? I had left the Swedish state-church earlier, just in case, but to pray 5 times a day? to stop eating pork? Could I really do that? And what about my family and friends? I recalled what Br. Omar told me, how his family tried to get him admitted to an asylum when he converted. Could I really do this? By this time the Internet wave had swept my country, and I too had hooked up with the infobahn. And "out there" were tons of information about Islam. I think I collected just about every web page with the word Islam anywhere in the text, and learned a lot. But what really made a change was a text I found in Great Britain, a story of a newly converted woman with feelings exactly like mine. 12 hours is the name of the text. When I had read that story, and wept the tears out of my eyes I realized that there were no turning back anymore, I couldn't resist Islam any longer. Summer vacation started, and I had made my mind up. I had to become a Muslim! But after all, the start of the summer had been very cold, and if my first week without work was different, I wouldn't lose a day of sunshine by not being on the beach. On the TV the weatherman painted a big sun right on top of my part of the country. OK then, some other day... The next morning; a steel grey sky, with ice-cold gusts of wind outside my bedroom window. It was like God had decided my time was up, I could wait no longer. I had the required bath, and dressed in clean clothes, jumped in my car and drove the 1 hour drive to the mosque. In the Mosque I approached the brothers with my wish, and after dhuhr prayer the Imam and some brothers witnessed me say the Shahada. Alhamdulillah! And to my great relief all my family and friends have taken my conversion very well, they have all accepted it, I won't say they were thrilled, but absolutely no hard feelings. They can't understand all the things I do. Like praying 5 times a day on specific times, or not eating pork meat. They think this is strange foreign customs that will die out with time, but I'll prove them wrong. InshaAllah! Abd al-Hayy Moore I became a Muslim when it seemed I had already accepted Islam in my bones, as if beyond choice, and I only had to make a leap to embrace it formally. Outwardly I was content; inwardly I was coasting. My three-year-old theatre company was disbanded after a hilariously chaotic production for a Tim Leary Benefit at the Family Dog in San Francisco, circa '68 -- naturally the orange juice everyone had passed around was spiked, so that chorus members were doing the final scene in the first ten minutes -- and for six months I had been methodically typing out poetry manuscripts in my attic in Berkeley preparatory to a big publishing peak. I considered myself a Zen Buddhist. But I was other things as well. My normal routine was to get up, sit zazen, smoke a joint, do half an hour of yoga, then read the "Mathnawi" of Rumi, the long mystical poem of that great Persian Sufi of the thirteenth century. Then I met the man who was to be my guide to our teacher in Morocco, Shaykh Muhammad ibn al-Habib, may Allah be pleased with him. At first the meeting was simply remarkable, and my guide simply a remarkable man. But soon our encounter was to become extraordinary, leading to a revolution in my life from which I have never recovered and never hope to. The man looked like an eccentric Englishman. He too had only recently come out of the English version of the Hippie Wave. He was older, refined in his manners, spectacularly witty and intellectual, but of that kind prevalent then who had hobnobbed with the Beatles and knew the Tantric Art collection of Brian Jones firsthand. He had been on all the classic drug quests -- peyote in the Yucatan, mescaline with Laura Huxley -- but with the kif quest in Morocco he had stumbled on Islam and then the Sufis, and the game was up. A profound change had taken place in his life that went far beyond the psychedelic experience. For the three days following our meeting, two other Americans and I listened in awe as this magnificent storyteller unfolded the picture of Islam, of the perfection of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, of the Sufis of Morocco, and of the 100-year-old plus Shaykh, sitting under a great fig tree in a garden with his disciples singing praises of Allah. It was everything I'd always dreamed of. It was poetry come alive. It was the visionary experience made part of daily life, with the Prophet a perfectly balanced master of wisdom and simplicity, an historically accessible Buddha, with a mixture of the earthiness of Moses, the otherworldliness of Jesus, and a light all his own. The prophetic knowledge our guide talked about was a kind of spiritual existentialism. It was a matter of how you enter a room, which foot you entered with, that you sipped water but gulped milk, that you said, "Bismillah" (In the Name of Allah) before eating or drinking, and "Al-hamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah) afterwards, and so on. But rather than seeing this as a burden of hundreds of "how-to's," it was more like what the LSD experience taught us, that there is a "right" way to do things that has, if you will, a cosmic resonance. It is a constant awareness of courtesy to the Creator and His creation that itself ensures and almost visionary intensity. It is hard to put forward any kind of explanation of Islam, to try to suggest the beauty of its totality, through the medium of words. The light of Islam, since it is transformational and alchemical in nature, almost always comes via a human messenger who is a transmitter of the picture by his very being. Face to face with our guide, what struck us most was his impeccable, noble behavior. He seemed to be living what he was saying. Finally the moment came, as a surprise, when he confronted me with my life. "Well," he said one morning after three full days of rapturous agreement that what he was bringing to us was the best thing we'd ever heard, "What do you think? Do you want to become a Muslim?" I hedged. "It's the most beautiful thing I've heard about so far. After all my Zen Buddhism, all my yoga, Tibetan Buddhism and Hindu gurus, this is certainly it! But I think I would like to travel a little, see the world, go to Afghanistan (then unoccupied), maybe meet my Shaykh in a mountain village far off somewhere." "That's not good enough. You have to decide now. Yes or no. If it's yes, then we start on a great adventure. If it's no, then no blame, I've done my duty. I'll just say goodbye and go on my way. But you have to decide now. I'll go downstairs and read a magazine and wait. Take your time." When he had left th

Is my ipod broken or my cable? I've had my Ipod classic for 3-4 years, and its gotten a good amount of use and been abused a little i'm sure. Recently, when i plug it into my car (its the kind with a cord you just connect to a hole in the car and then to the headphone part of the ipod) it sort of switches volume on me..like if i go around a sharp turn and the ipod shifts a teeny bit it goes static or just changes where the sound comes from. this doesn't happen when other people use their ipods in my car. when i listened to my ipods with headphones it also had strange sound. is it broken?

How many receipt-less voting machines are used nation-wide?

Anyone want to know all the wrestlers?well here it is? RAW brand Male wrestlers Shelton Benjamin Lance Cade Carlito (Carly Colón) John Cena Daivari (Shawn Daivari) Jim Duggan Mick Foley Shad Gaspard Charlie Haas Jeff Hardy JTG (Jayson Paul) Brian Kendrick King Booker (Booker Huffman) Bobby Lashley (Franklin Lashley) Paul London Santino Marella (Anthony Carelli) Robbie McAllister (Derek Graham-Couch) Rory McAllister (Russell Murray) Trevor Murdoch (Trevor Rhodes) Randy Orton Chuck Palumbo William Regal (Darren Matthews) Sandman (Jim Fullington) Snitsky (Eugene Snisky) Super Crazy (Francisco Pantoja Islas) Umaga (Eddie Fatu) Val Venis (Sean Morley) Female wrestlers Jillian Hall (Jillian Fletcher) Mickie James Maria (Maria Kanellis) - Also an interviewer Melina (Melina Perez) Candice Michelle (Candice Beckman) Referees Mike Chioda - Senior Official Jack Doan Marty Elias (Marty Rubalcaba) Chad Patton Other on-air talent Jonathan Coachman - Interim General Manager Todd Grisham - Backstage interviewer and occasional ring announcer Jerry Lawler - Color commentator of RAW and occasional wrestler Shane McMahon - Occasional appearances Mr. Kennedy (Ken Anderson) - Appears in a non-wrestling role, due to a triceps tear Queen Sharmell (Sharmell Sullivan-Huffman) - Valet and wife of King Booker Jim Ross - Play-by-play commentator of RAW and Executive Vice President of Business Strategies Ron Simmons - Occasional appearances Inactive talent Armando Alejandro Estrada (Hazem Ali) - Manager of Umaga - (kayfabe) Suffered an injury at the hands of Bobby Lashley Lilian Garcia - Ring announcer - Suffered an anterior cruciate ligament tear Shawn Michaels (Michael Hickenbottom) - (kayfabe) concussion, Suffered a "Blown Out" knee, will require surgery Triple H (Paul Levesque) - Recovering from a quadriceps muscle tear Stables and tag teams Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch Paul London and Brian Kendrick Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG) The Hardys (Jeff Hardy and SmackDown!'s Matt Hardy) The Highlanders (Robbie McAllister and Rory McAllister) The World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) SmackDown! brand Male wrestlers Batista (Dave Bautista) Deuce (James Reiher, Jr.) Domino (Cliff Compton) Kenny Dykstra (Ken Doane) Edge (Adam Copeland) Eugene (Nick Dinsmore) Finlay (David Finlay) Ric Flair (Richard Fliehr) Funaki (Shoichi Funaki) The Great Khali (Dalip Singh) Chavo Guerrero (Salvador Guerrero III) Matt Hardy Mark Henry Kane (Glen Jacobs) Brett Major (Matt Cardona) Brian Major (Brian Myers) Chris Masters (Chris Mordetsky) Shannon Moore Jamie Noble (James Gibson) Montel Vontavious Porter (Alvin Burke, Jr.) Dave Taylor Jimmy Wang Yang (James Yun) Female wrestlers Kristal Marshall - Also a Backstage Interviewer; Teddy Long's Personal Assistant Michelle McCool Torrie Wilson Victoria (Lisa Marie Varon) Referees Mickie Henson - Senior Official Jim Korderas Charles Robinson Other on-air talent Cherry (Kara Drew) - Valet of Deuce 'N Domino Tony Chimel - Ring announcer Michael Cole (Michael Sean Coulthard) - Play-by-play commentator of SmackDown! and Managing Editor of WWE.com Vickie Guerrero - Assistant General Manager Hornswoggle (Dylan Postl) - Sidekick of Finlay John "Bradshaw" Layfield - Color commentator of SmackDown! Theodore Long - General Manager Maryse (Maryse Ouellet) - Appears in commercial post-bumps Runjin Singh (Dave Kapoor) - Translator of The Great Khali Inactive talent Sylvan Grenier- Working dark matches Gregory Helms - Major neck injury, receiving neck fusion surgery Hardcore Holly (Bob Howard) - Suffered a (kayfabe) broken arm; healing from elbow surgery Chris Kay - Referee; Under 60 day suspension[citation needed] Ashley Massaro - (kayfabe) Suspended by Mr. McMahon Rey Mysterio (Oscar Gutierrez) - Knee surgery; has been (kayfabe) re-injured The Undertaker (Mark Calaway) - Suffered a biceps tear Stables and tag teams Deuce 'N Domino with Cherry The Major Brothers (Brett Major and Brian Major) ECW brand Male wrestlers Chris Benoit The Boogeyman (Marty Wright) Elijah Burke CM Punk (Phil Brooks) Marcus Cor Von (Monty Brown) Tommy Dreamer (Tom Laughlin) Balls Mahoney (Jonathan Rechner) The Miz (Mike Mizanin) Johnny Nitro (John Hennigan) Nunzio (James Maritato) Stevie Richards (Michael Manna) Matt Striker (Matthew Kaye) Kevin Thorn (Kevin Fertig) Viscera (Nelson Frazier, Jr.) Referees Scott Armstrong (Joseph James Jr.) - Senior Official John Cone Mike Posey Other on-air talent Brooke Adams - Appears in Extreme Exposé Kelly Kelly (Barbara Blank) - Appears in Extreme Exposé Layla (Layla El) - Appears in Extreme Exposé Justin Roberts - Ring announcer Joey Styles (Joseph Bonsignore) - Play-by-play commentator of ECW Tazz (Peter Senerchia) - Color commentator of ECW Inactive talent Rob Van Dam (Rob Szatkowski) - Out indefinitely with a (kayfabe) concussion, contract expiring, not expected to re-sign Stables and tag teams The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von and Matt Striker) Developmental talent Ohio Valley Wrestling Male wrestlers Jay Bradley (Brad Bradley) Paul Burchill Colt Cabana (Scott Colton) Chet the Jett (Neil Bzibziak) Atlas DaBone Jesse Dalton (Ray Gordy) Justice Dalton (Drew Hankinson) Jacob Duncan (Ryan Wilson) Charles Evans Jake Hager Kassidy James (Cassidy O'Reilly) K.C. James (Kurt Sellers) Johnny Jeter Mike Knox (Mike Hettinga) Vladimir Kozlov (Oleg Prudius) Michael Washington Kruel (Mike Kruel) Steven Lewington Mike Mondo (Michael Brendli) Derrick Neikirk Nick Nemeth Antoni Polaski (Michael Depoli) Mason Raige (Jeff Velocci) Cody Rhodes (Cody Runnels) Dan Rodman (Daniel Rodimer) Chris Rombola Shawn Spears (Ronnie Arniell) Ace Steel (Chris Guy) Aaron Stevens Female wrestlers Victoria Crawford Katie Lea (Katarina Waters) Beth Phoenix (Elizabeth Carolan) Roucka (Milena Roucka) - Valet of Mike Kruel Other on-air talent Dr. Thomas (Tommaso Whitney) - Manager of Charles Evans & Justin LaRoche Kevin Keenan - Referee Inactive talent Matt Cappotelli - Recently had successful brain surgery; return date unknown Stables and tag teams The Daltons (Jesse Dalton and Justice Dalton) The James Boys (Kassidy James and K.C. James) Team Elite (Mike Knox and Derrick Neikirk) Terminal Velocity (Chet the Jett and Steven Lewington) Florida Championship Wrestling Male wrestlers Afa Jr. (Afa Anoa'i, Jr.) Robert Anthony Drew Galloway G-Rilla (George Murdoch) Kofi Nahaje Kingston Heath Miller Ryan O'Reilly Shawn Osborne (Shawn McGrath) Eric Perez Sheamus O'Shaunessy Sonny Siaki Russell Simpson Harry Smith Ryklon Stephens Keith Walker T.J. Wilson Female wrestlers Nattie Neidhart Shantelle Taylor (Shantelle Malawski) Krissy Vaine (Kristin Eubanks) Other on-air talent Wes Adams - Referee Nick Patrick (Nick Hamilton) - Referee Stables and tag teams The Samoan Fight Club - (Afa Jr. & Sonny Siaki) Unassigned talent Male wrestlers Eddie Colón René Duprée (René Goguen) Chris Gray Mariusz Puczko Hade Vansen Female wrestlers Beulah McGillicutty (Trisa Hayes) Talent Relations Management James Tyler Bailey - Director of Talent Relations Simon Dean (Mike Bucci) - Talent Development Manager John Laurinaitis - Senior Vice President of Talent Relations Stephanie McMahon - Executive Vice President of Talent and Creative Writing Creative team Court Bauer - SmackDown! brand John Carle - Unspecified Christopher DeJoseph - SmackDown! brand Brian Gewirtz - Vice President; Head Writer for RAW brand Michael Hayes (Michael Seitz) - Vice President; Head Writer for SmackDown! brand Jen Hunt - Unspecified Dave Kapoor - RAW brand Ed Koskey - RAW brand David Lagana - Head Writer for ECW brand Dusty Rhodes (Virgil Runnels, Jr.) - ECW brand Zachary Soto - SmackDown! brand Pantelis Ypsilantis - ECW brand Producers / Trainers Arn Anderson (Martin Lunde) - RAW Senior Producer Brad Armstrong (Brad James) Gerald Brisco Brooklyn Brawler (Steve Lombardi) Tony Garea (Anthony Garcia) Robert Gibson (Reuben Kane) Steve Keirn - FCW Director Blackjack Lanza (Jack Lanza) Dean Malenko (Dean Simon) - ECW Senior Producer Pat Patterson (Pierre Clemont) Brother Love (Bruce Prichard) Dr. Tom Prichard - FCW Head Trainer Irwin R. Schyster (Mike Rotunda) Ricky Steamboat (Richard Blood) Sgt. Slaughter (Robert Remus) Al Snow (Allen Sarven) - OVW Head Trainer Tim White Steve Williams Barry Windham Other roles Sue Aitchison - Manager of Community Relations "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (Steve Williams) - Makes occasional appearances Thomas Barreca - Executive Vice President of WWE Enterprises Jayson Bernstein - Director of Corporate Communications Eric Bischoff - Makes occasional appearances Robert A. Bowman - Member of the Board of Directors Max Bretos - Part-time interviewer Dorothy Brill - Senior Vice President of Human Resources Carlos Cabrera - Spanish commentator Peter Clifford - Vice President of Affiliate Sales Edward S. Cohen – Executive Vice President Kristi D'Aliso – Promotions Manager Lou D'Angeli - Director of Promotions and Event Marketing Gary Davis - Director of WWE Smackdown Your Vote! Carl Demarco - President of WWE Canada Basil DeVito – Director of Marketing Initiatives Pete DiNicola - Senior Vice President Darren Drozdov - WWE.com reporter Kevin Dunn - Executive Vice President of Television Production The Fabulous Moolah (Lillian Ellison) - Makes occasional appearances Howard Finkel - Part-time announcer Donna Goldsmith - Executive Vice President of Consumer Products Paul Heyman Hillbilly Jim (Jim Morris) - Public Relations Jim Johnston - Music Director Brian Kalinowski - General Manager of Digital Media Edward Kaufman - Executive Vice President David Kenin - Member of the Board of Directors' Jack Korpela - Part-time color commentator of Heat Neil Lawi - General Manager of WWE Music Dan Levi - Senior Vice President of Marketing Josh Mathews (Josh Lomberger) - Editor and host of WWE 24/7, occasional commentator Linda McMahon - Chief Executive Officer Marissa Mazzola-McMahon - Director of National Public Relations Shane McMahon - Executive Vice President of Global Media, Head of Media Relations Department Vince McMahon - WWE Chairman Heather Mitchel - Producer Stephan Moore - Retail Development Manager Christopher Nowinski - Public Relations Gene Okerlund - Part-time interviewer Joseph Perkins - Member of the Board of Directors "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (Roderick Toombs) - Makes occasional appearances Dr. Ferdinand Rios - Physician Jason Robinson - Set Design Geof Rochester - Executive Vice President of Marketing Monty Ross - Senior Director of Marketing Marcelo Rodriguez - Spanish commentator James A. Rothschild – Senior Vice President Hugo Savinovich - Spanish commentator Bob Schrader - WWE.com Fan Columnist Melissa Seffens - Director of Network Affiliate Marketing Frank Serpe - Chief Financial Officer Michael Sileck - Chief Operating Officer Joel Simon - President of WWE Films Stuart Snyder - WWE President Michael B. Solomon - Member of the Board of Directors Steve Taylor - Vice President of Event Operations Tim Walbert - Member of the Board of Directors Lowell P. Weicker, Jr. - Member of the Board of Directors Andrew Whitaker - Senior Vice President of International Television Mark Yeaton - Timekeeper Mae Young - Makes occasional appearances Julie Youngberg-Drozdov - Costume designer Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference 1960 Maurice Catarcio The Matador Citation needed 1960 Edward Gossett Eddie Graham Citation needed 1963 Antonino Rocca Antonino Rocca Citation needed 1963 Buddy Rogers "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers Citation needed 1969 Ed Farhat The Sheik Citation needed 1970 Wahoo McDaniel Wahoo McDaniel Citation needed 1972 Karl Istaz Karl Gotch Citation needed 1972 Camille Tourville Tarzan Tyler Citation needed 1974 Fred Blassie "Classy" Freddie Blassie Retired from wrestling to focus on being a manager. Citation needed 1974 Miguel Feliciano Miguel Feliciano Citation needed 1975 James Dudley James Dudley Citation needed 1976 Kevin Sullivan Kevin Sullivan Citation needed 1977 Wladek Kowalski Killer Kowalski Citation needed 1978 Charles Kalani, Jr. Professor Toru Tanaka Citation needed 1978 George Stipich Stan "The Man" Stasiak Citation needed 1979 Scott Irwin Yukon Eric Citation needed 1979 Ivan Koloff Ivan Koloff Citation needed 1979 Vincent J. McMahon Vincent J. McMahon Retired as owner of the WWWF and sold it to his son, Vincent K. McMahon. Citation needed 1979 Jimmy Valen Jimmy Valiant Citation needed [edit] World Wrestling Federation era [edit] 1980's Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference 1980 Ernie Ladd "Big Cat" Ernie Ladd Citation needed 1980 Bill White Wild Bill White Citation needed 1981 Lawrence Whistler Larry Zbyszko Citation needed 1981 Ed White Moondog King Citation needed 1982 Eddie Gilbert "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert Citation needed 1982 Lanny Kean Moondog Cujo Citation needed 1982 Paul McWight Moondog Rover Citation needed 1983 Tatsumi Fujinami Tatsumi Fujinami Citation needed 1983 Masa Saito Masa Saito Citation needed 1983 Bill Smithson Moondog Spike Citation needed 1984 Stan Hansen Stan Hansen Citation needed 1984 Houston Harris Bobo Brazil Citation needed 1984 Buzz Sawyer "Bulldog" Buzz Sawyer Citation needed 1984 Mikel Scicluna "Baron" Mikel Scicluna Citation needed 1984 Ray Stevens Ray Stevens Citation needed 1985 Mad Maxine Mad Maxine Citation needed 1985 Dick Murdoch Dick Murdoch Citation needed 1985 Dewey Robertson The Missing Link Citation needed 1985 Johnny Rodz Johnny Rodz Citation needed 1985 Buddy Rose "Playboy" Buddy Rose Citation needed 1985 Wendy Savinovich Wendi Richter Citation needed 1985 David Schultz "Dr. D" David Schultz Released after incident with reporter John Stossel. Citation needed 1986 Dory Funk, Jr. Hoss Funk Citation needed 1986 Stan Frazier Uncle Elmer Citation needed 1987 Takeshi Akabane Little Tokyo Citation needed 1987 Josef Bednarski Ivan Putski Citation needed 1987 Randy Colley Moondog Rex Citation needed 1987 Lionel Giroux Little Beaver Ended career after he suffered a back injury in a match with King Kong Bundy. Citation needed 1987 Raymond Kessler The Haiti Kid Citation needed 1987 Michael Kirschner Corporal Kirschner He failed a drug test and was suspended. Afterwards, Kirschner decided not to return. [1] 1987 Larry Latham Moondog Spot Citation needed 1987 Pedro Morales Pedro Morales Citation needed 1987 Barry Orton Barry O Citation needed 1987 Debbie Szestecki Debbie Combs Citation needed 1987 Eric Tovey Lord Littlebrook Citation needed 1987 Robert Windham Blackjack Mulligan Citation needed June 1987 Tom Zenk Tom Zenk Contract dispute. Citation needed July 4, 1987 Keith Franke Adrian Adonis Citation needed 1988 Sika Anoai Sika Citation needed 1988 Tom Billington Dynamite Kid Citation needed 1988 Craig Minervini Craig DeGeorge Citation needed July 21 1988 Brian Blair B. Brian Blair Left due to unfulfilled promises to win the Tag Team titles never came to fruition. Citation needed September 22 1988 Conrad Efraim S.D. Jones Citation needed 1988 Sam Fatu Tama Citation needed 1988 William Haynes, Jr. Billy Jack Haynes Citation needed 1988 Oliver Humperdink Oliver Humperdink Citation needed 1988 Reginald Lisowski The Crusher Citation needed 1988 Velvet Mykietowich Velvet McIntyre Citation needed 1988 Paul Orndorff "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff Citation needed 1988 Ken Patera Ken Patera Citation needed 1988 James Raschke The Baron Citation needed 1988 Sylvester Ritter Junkyard Dog, JYD Citation needed 1988 Bruno Sammartino Bruno Sammartino Citation needed 1988 David Sammartino David Sammartino Citation needed 1988 Patricia Karisma-Schroeder Leilani Kai Citation needed 1988 Michael Smith Sam Houston Citation needed 1988 "Superstar" Billy Graham "Superstar" Billy Graham Citation needed 1988 Peter Stilsbury Outback Jack Citation needed 1988 Noriyo Tateno Noriyo Tateno Citation needed April 1988 Bruce Reed "The Natural" Butch Reed Citation needed August 1988 Don Muraco Don Muraco Citation needed 1989 Tully Blanchard Tully Blanchard Was fired after failing a random drug test. Citation needed 1989 Scott Casey Scott Casey Citation needed 1989 Jean Gagné Frenchy Martin Citation needed 1989 Ronald Herd "Outlaw" Ron Bass Citation needed 1989 Melissa Hiatt Missy Hyatt Citation needed 1989 John Minton Big John Studd Citation needed 1989 Masashi Ozawa Killer Kahn Citation needed 1989 Harley Race Harley Race Citation needed 1989 Robin Smith Rockin' Robin Citation needed 1989 Max Taogaga Siva Afi Citation needed December 1989 Tom Lister, Jr. Zeus Citation needed [edit] 1990's Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference 1990 Roger Barnes Ronnie Garvin Citation needed 1990 Allen Coage Bad News Brown Left due to claims that Vince McMahon failed to live up to promises. Citation needed 1990 Bill Eadie Ax Citation needed 1990 George Gray One Man Gang, Akeem Citation needed 1990 Hector Guerrero Gobbledygooker Citation needed 1990 James Janos Jesse Ventura Citation needed 1990 Al Perez Al Perez Citation needed 1990 Anthony White Tony Atlas, Saba Simba Citation needed 1990 Juanita Wright Sapphire Citation needed 1991 Brady Boone Battle Kat Citation needed 1991 Nick Busick Big Bully Busick Retired from wrestling. Citation needed 1991 Paul Centopani Paul Roma Citation needed 1991 Carly Colón Sr. Carly Colón Retired from wrestling. Citation needed 1991 Jim Barrell Boris Zhukov Citation needed 1991 Pete Doherty The Duke of Dorchester Citation needed 1991 Rick Harris Black Bart Citation needed 1991 Genichiro Tenryu Genichiro Tenryu Citation needed 1991 Koji Kitao Koji Kitao Citation needed 1991 André Rousimoff André the Giant Retired because he was too ill to continue wrestling. Citation needed 1991 John Tolos The Coach Citation needed 1992 Kerry Adkisson Texas Tornado Fired after failing random drug test. Citation needed 1992 Ray Fernandez Hercules Citation needed 1992 Elizabeth Hulette Miss Elizabeth Left the WWF shortly after her divorce from Randy Savage. Citation needed 1992 Adnan El Kassey General Adnan, Billy White Wolf Citation needed 1992 Andy Kindler Jamison Citation needed 1992 Mike McGuirk Mike McGuirk Citation needed 1992 James Reiher "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka Citation needed 1992 Terry Szopinski The Warlord Citation needed 1992 Pat Tanaka Pat Tanaka Citation needed 1992 John Wisniski, Jr. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine Citation needed January 1992 Adolfo Bresciano Dino Bravo Retired from wrestling. Citation needed December 1992 Kevin Wacholz Nailz Reportedly released after he attacked Vince McMahon over a dispute over money. Citation needed 1993 Charles Ashenoff Max Moon Citation needed 1993 Rob Bartlett Rob Bartlett [[Wikipedia:Citing sources}Citation needed]] 1993 Wayne Bloom Beau Beverly Citation needed 1993 Tom Boric Paul Diamond Citation needed 1993 James Brunzell "Jumpin'" Jim Brunzell Citation needed 1993 Barry Darsow Smash, Repo Man Citation needed 1993 Mike Enos Blake Beverly Citation needed 1993 Jorge Gonzales Giant Gonzales Citation needed 1993 Jimmy Hart Jimmy Hart Left after McMahon asked for him take a 50% pay cut. Citation needed 1993 Raymond Heenan Bobby Heenan Left after McMahon asked for him take a 50% pay cut. Citation needed 1993 Steve James Lance Cassidy Citation needed 1993 Ken Johnson Slick Left to concentrate on preaching in his church. Citation needed 1993 Ed Leslie Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake Citation needed 1993 Sean Mooney Sean Mooney Citation needed 1993 John Nord The Berzerker, The Viking Citation needed 1993 Matt Osborne Doink the Clown (#1), Matt Borne Citation needed 1993 Lanny Poffo The Genius, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo Citation needed 1993 Sherri Russell "Sensational" Sherri Martel Citation needed 1993 Jerome Saganovich Jerry Sags Citation needed 1993 Merced Solis Tito Santana Citation needed 1993 Philip Theis Damien Demento Citation needed 1993 Brian Yandrisovitz Brian Knobbs Citation needed 1994 Tony Halme Ludvig Borga Retired due to injury Citation needed 1994 Jim Harris Kamala Citation needed 1994 Bruce Hart Bruce Hart Citation needed 1994 Keith Hart Keith Hart Citation needed 1994 Heidi Lee Morgan Heidi Lee Morgan Citation needed 1994 Fred Ottman Typhoon/Tugboat Citation needed 1994 Robert Rechsteiner Rick Steiner Citation needed 1994 Mike Shaw Bastion Booger Citation needed 1994 James Ware Koko B. Ware Citation needed November 1994 Randy Poffo "Macho Man" Randy Savage Left to go to WCW Citation needed 1995 Afa Anoai Afa Citation needed 1995 Samula Anoai Samu Left due to excessive travel schedule. Citation needed 1995 Lou Albano "Captain" Lou Albano Citation needed 1995 Scott Bigelow Bam Bam Bigelow Left due to problems with the Klique. Citation needed 1995 Jeff Bradley Charlie Hunter Citation needed 1995 Steve Doll Steven Dunn Citation needed 1995 Harry Fujiwara Mr. Fuji Left due to excessive travel schedule and knee problems. Citation needed 1995 Claude Giroux Dink Citation needed 1995 Alfred Hayes Lord Alfred Hayes Left after getting in a car accident which resulted in him contracting gangrene and being confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Citation needed 1995 Robert Horne Mo Citation needed 1995 Mike Jones Virgil Citation needed 1995 Stan Lane Stan Lane Citation needed 1995 Ray Liccachelli Doink the Clown (#2) Citation needed 1995 Dan Marsh Dan Marsh, Danny Davis Citation needed 1995 Troy Martin Dean Douglas Quit after backstage problems with The Clique. Citation needed 1995 Debra Miceli Alundra Blayze Released after talking to WCW under contract. Citation needed 1995 Chris Pallies King Kong Bundy Citation needed 1995 Josip Peruzovic Nikolai Volkoff Citation needed 1995 Darryl Peterson Man Mountain Rock, Maxx Payne Citation needed 1995 James Richland Jimmy Del Ray Citation needed 1995 Gary Sabaugh The Italian Stallion Citation needed 1995 Akio Sato Akio Sato Citation needed 1995 Joe Scarpa Chief Jay Strongbow Citation needed 1995 Dan Spivey Waylon Mercy Retired after being injured in a match with Kevin Nash. Citation needed 1995 Jack Tunney Jack Tunney Citation needed 1995 Sione Vailahi The Barbarian, Sionne Citation needed 1995 Richard Vigneault "The Model" Rick Martel Citation needed 1995 Bill Watts Bill Watts Had many conflicts with Vince McMahon. Citation needed 1995 Timothy Well Timothy Well Citation needed September 1, 1995 Lawrence Pfohl Lex Luger, The Narcissist Jumped ship to WCW, breaking his promise to Vince McMahon that he would stay. Citation needed 1996 Chris Candido Skip Citation needed 1996 Wayne Cowan Uncle Zebekiah Citation needed 1996 Mike Droese Duke "The Dumpster" Droese Citation needed 1996 Chad Fortune Travis Citation needed 1996 Terry Gordy Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy Citation needed 1996 Robert Miller Bushwhacker Butch Citation needed 1996 Louis Mucciolo Rad Radford, Louie Spicolli Citation needed 1996 Jinsei Shinzaki Hakushi Citation needed 1996 Warrior Ultimate Warrior Contract was terminated after several no-shows. Citation needed 1996 Erik Watts Troy Citation needed 1996 Brian Wickens Bushwacker Luke Citation needed January 1996 Buddy Landel Buddy Landel Left after an injury sustained in a match with Bret Hart. Citation needed 1997 Tony Anthony TL Hopper, Uncle Cletus Citation needed 1997 Robert Bedard Rene Goulet Citation needed 1997 Scott Bednarski Scott Putski Citation needed 1997 Rick Bogner Fake Razor Ramon Citation needed 1997 Jamie Crookshanks J.C. Ice Citation needed 1997 Sid Eudy Sycho Sid, Sid Justice Citation needed 1997 Roy Wayne Farris The Honky Tonk Man Citation needed 1997 Doug Furnas Doug Furnas Citation needed 1997 James Hines Bobby Fulton Citation needed 1997 Barry Horowitz Barry Horowitz Citation needed 1997 Barney Irwin The Goon Citation needed 1997 Phil Lafleur Phil Lafon Citation needed 1997 Clarence Mason Clarence Mason Citation needed 1997 Masanori Murakawa The Great Sasuke Citation needed 1997 Todd Pettengill Todd Pettengill Citation needed 1997 Alex Porteau Alex "The Pug" Porteau Citation needed 1997 Jake Roberts Jake "The Snake" Roberts Released after failing drug tests. Citation needed 1997 Richard Rood "Ravishing" Rick Rude Left for WCW. Citation needed 1997 * Unknown The Commandant Citation needed 1997 Khosrow Vaziri Iron Sheik Citation needed 1997 Kelly Wolfe Wolfie D Citation needed January 1997 Jose Lothario Jose Lothario Citation needed November 1997 Bret Hart Bret "The Hitman" Hart Left after the incident at Survivor Series 1997 known as the Montreal Screwjob. [2] December 1997 Jim Neidhart Jim "the Anvil" Neidhart Left WWF a month after the Montreal Screwjob. Citation needed 1998 Achim Albrecht Brakkus Citation needed 1998 Theodore Annis Teddy Hart Released for having "attitude problems." Citation needed 1998 Rodney Anoa'i Yokozuna He was unable to pass a physical required for professional wrestlers and was released. Citation needed 1998 Tom Brandi Salvatore Sincere, Tom Brandi Citation needed 1998 Joseph Bruce Violent J Citation needed 1998 Don Callis The Jackyl Citation needed 1998 Robert Fuller Tennessee Lee Citation needed 1998 Mike Hallick The Mantaur, Tank Citation needed 1998 Michael Hegstrand Hawk Citation needed 1998 Brian Lee Chainz, Evil Undertaker Citation needed 1998 Pablo Marquez Babu Citation needed 1998 Anthony Norris Ahmed Johnson Released after his wrestling style had begun to cause injury to his opponents. Citation needed 1998 Takeo Otsuka Mens Teioh Citation needed 1998 Luc Poirier Sniper Citation needed 1998 Juan Rivera Savio Vega Citation needed 1998 Shigeki Sato Dick Togo Citation needed 1998 Joseph Utsler Shaggy 2 Dope Citation needed 1998 Wally Yamaguchi Yamaguchi-San Citation needed May 1998 Tammy Lynn Sytch Sunny Left the WWF for ECW. Citation needed July 1998 Ricky Morton Ricky Morton Citation needed August 1998 Del Wilkes The Patriot Citation needed September 1998 Shian-Li Tsang Mrs. Yamaguchi-San Citation needed October 1998 Jesus Castillo Jesus Castillo Citation needed October 1998 Jose Estrada, Jr. Jose Estrada, Jr. Citation needed October 1998 Miguel Perez Miguel Perez Citation needed October 25, 1998 Leon White Vader Left after contract expired. Citation needed 1999 Christopher Daniels Conquistador Dos Citation needed 1999 Michael Durham Johnny Grunge Citation needed 1999 Paul Ellering Paul Ellering Citation needed 1999 James Myers George "The Animal" Steele Citation needed 1999 Ted Petty "Flyboy" Rocco Rock Citation needed 1999 Mike Plotcheck Bart Gunn, Bodacious Bart Citation needed 1999 Alicia Webb Ryan Shamrock Citation needed February 1999 John Tenta Earthquake, Golga Citation needed April 1999 Don Harris Don Harris, Jared Grimm, Jacob Blu, 8-Ball Citation needed April 1999 Ron Harris Ron Harris, Jason Grimm, Eli Blu, Skull Citation needed April 1999 Dan Severn Dan "The Beast" Severn Citation needed May 1999 Marcus Merowitz Marc Mero Citation needed July 19, 1999 Nicole Bass Nicole Bass Left after claiming she was sexually harassed. Citation needed September 1999 Marianna Komlos Marianna, Mrs. Cleavage Citation needed September 1999 Paulo da Silva Giant Silva Citation needed October 5, 1999 Vince Russo Vince Russo Left after having a falling out with Vince McMahon over the increased workload placed upon him. Citation needed October 16, 1999 Jeff Jarrett Jeff Jarrett Contract expired. Citation needed November 1999 Robert Maillet Kurrgan, The Interrogator Citation needed November 1999 Ken Shamrock Ken Shamrock Left to go back to UFC. Citation needed [edit] Early 2000's Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference 2000 Robert Backlund Bob Backlund Citation needed 2000 Rebecca Budig Rebecca Budig Citation needed 2000 Duane Gill Gillberg Citation needed 2000 Glen Ruth Thrasher Citation needed 2000 Jason Traverse Jason Sensation Citation needed January 2000 Carl Ouellet Jean Pierre LaFitte/Pierre Citation needed January 2000 Jacques Rougeau The Mountie Citation needed February 2000 Gertrude Vachon Luna Vachon Released from her contract due to allegedly taping the mouth of a producer shut. Citation needed March 2000 Curtis Hughes Mr. Hughes Citation needed May 30, 2000 David Smith The British Bulldog Citation needed June 2000 Cathy Dingman Barbara Bush (B.B.) Citation needed July 2000 Vic Grimes Key Citation needed September 2000 Caryn Mower Muffy Mower Citation needed October 2000 Dennis Knight Mideon, Phineas I. Godwinn Citation needed November 3, 2000 Frostee Moore Mandy Citation needed December 2000 Brian Gerard James Road Dogg, Jesse James, Roadie Released after showing up for a Raw show in an "unfit work state" due to drug use. Citation needed December 2000 Cynthia Lynch Bobcat Released from her contract. Citation needed 2001 Sara Calaway Sara Storyline ended; made brief appearances for WWE later. Citation needed 2001 Jim Dotson Jim Dotson Left to pursue other interest. Citation needed February 27, 2001 Stacy Carter The Kat, Miss Kitty Released for behavior problems backstage. Citation needed June 2001 Jason Arhndt Joey Abs Citation needed June 2001 Peter Gasperino Pete Gas Citation needed June 2001 Ron Killings K-Kwik Mutually agreed on release due to lack of push. Citation needed June 2001 Rodney Leinhardt Rodney Citation needed July 2001 Joseph Hitchen Just Joe Citation needed July 9, 2001 Marcus Bagwell Buff Bagwell Released for unprofessional conduct. Citation needed August 2001 Charles Warrington Chaz, Mosh, Beaver Cleavage Released from his contract. Citation needed September 2001 Terri Poch Tori Was asked to train more but refused and was released. Citation needed September 2001 Jesús Guadalupe Delgado Seldaña Essa Rios Citation needed September 24, 2001 Brian Adams Brian Adams, Crush Left WWF when he was asked to go to a developmental territory. Citation needed September 24, 2001 Bryan Clark Bryan Clark, Adam Bomb Left WWF when he was asked to go to a developmental territory. Citation needed November 30, 2001 Joanie Laurer Chyna Laurer sat out her contract after negotiations stalled around May 2001; her WWF contract ended November of that year. Citation needed 2002 Raymond Rougeau Raymond Rougeau Citation needed 2002 Billy Silverman Billy Silverman Asked for release due to constant hazing. Citation needed April 2002 Takao Yoshida Taka Michinoku Citation needed [edit] World Wrestling Entertainment era [edit] 2002-2003 Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference 2002 Uliuli Fifita Haku, King Tonga, King Haku Citation needed 2002 Jerry Lynn Jerry Lynn Went To TNA Wrestling. Citation needed May 7, 2002 Scott Hall Scott Hall, Razor Ramon Released for obscene behavior on a plane trip and for drug and alcohol related issues. Citation needed May 8, 2002 Curt Hennig Mr. Perfect Released after reportedly becoming intoxicated and getting into a fight with Brock Lesnar on a return flight from the United Kingdom. Citation needed May 26, 2002 Raymond Traylor The Big Boss Man Citation needed July 2002 Gurjit Singh Tiger Ali Singh Citation needed August 25, 2002 Sean Waltman X-Pac, 1-2-3 Kid Left WWE in a mutual decision. Citation needed September 7, 2002 Michael Alfonso Mike Awesome Citation needed September 27, 2002 Sean Stipich Shawn Stasiak, Meat Citation needed October 2002 Steve Blackman Steve Blackman Retired due to injury. Citation needed October 2002 David Fliehr David Flair Released from developmental contract. Citation needed November 24, 2002 Page Falkinburg "Diamond" Dallas Page Left after a neck injury suffered in a match with Hardcore Holly. Citation needed November 24, 2002 Perry Satullo Perry Saturn Citation needed December 5, 2002 Charles Wright The Godfather, The Goodfather, Kama Mustafa, Kama, Papa Shango Citation needed January 2003 Barry Buchanan Bull Buchanan, Recon Citation needed January 2003 Scott Levy Raven, Johnny Polo Left After A Contract Dispute. Citation needed February 14, 2003 Accie C. Connor D'Lo Brown Left to wrestle in Japan. Citation needed March 2003 Kevin Kelly Kevin Kelly Left to pursue other ventures. Citation needed March 2003 Debra Marshall Debra Walked from WWE in 2002 following Stone Cold Steve Austin's departure, WWE did not announce this until 2003. Citation needed April 2003 Eric Angle Eric Angle Released from developmental contract. Citation needed May 2003 Wayde Bowles Rocky Johnson Citation needed June 2003 Terry Taylor Terry Taylor, Red Rooster Citation needed July 2003 Terry Bollea Hulk Hogan, Hollywood Hogan, Mr. America Contract Expired. Left To star in both TV and Movies. Citation needed July 1, 2003 Mike Lockwood Crash Holly, Crash Released on suspicion that he was using drugs. Citation needed December 6, 2003 Nathan Jones Nathan Jones Requested release due to heavy travel schedule. Citation needed December 31, 2003 Kevin Nash Kevin Nash, Diesel Left After Contract Expired. Citation needed [edit] 2004-2005 Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference February 4, 2004 Zach Gowen Zach Gowen Released due to alleged attitude problems. Citation needed February 9, 2004 Chris Klucsaritis Chris Kanyon Kanyon claims that he was released because he is a homosexual. Citation needed February 12, 2004 Ernest Miller Ernest "The Cat" Miller Retired Citation needed February 12, 2004 Desmond Thompson Lamont Citation needed March 15, 2004 Bill Goldberg Goldberg Contract expired, declined to re-sign. Citation needed March 15, 2004 Brock Lesnar Brock Lesnar Left to pursue career in the National Football League. Citation needed April 3, 2004 Sean O'Haire Sean O'Haire Released after he was involved in an altercation with a female and was charged with assault. Citation needed April 3, 2004 Terri Runnels Terri Runnels, Marlena Released Due To Budget Cuts. She Also Claims It Was Time For Her To Retire. Citation needed April 15, 2004 Yoshihiro Asai Ultimo Dragon Asked for release to go back to Japan. Citation needed June 2004 Rue DeBona Rue DeBona Asked for release. Citation needed June 2004 Brian Lawler Grandmaster Sexay, Brian Christopher Released for allegedly using muscle relaxers. Citation needed June 2004 Jacqueline Moore Jacqueline Released due to budget cuts. Citation needed June 15, 2004 Chavo Guerrero Chavo Classic Released for no-showing a SmackDown! house show two days earlier. Citation needed July 17, 2004 Solofa Fatu Rikishi, The Sultan, Fatu Released after refusing to lose weight. Citation needed August 5, 2004 Ryan Sakoda Sakoda Citation needed August 10, 2004 Rena Merowitz Sable Was released due to budget cuts. Citation needed August 17 2004 Scott Rechsteiner Scott Steiner He & WWE agreed on his release. Citation needed October 26, 2004 Carmella DeCesare Carmella DeCesare Was no longer needed and released. Citation needed November 1, 2004 Matthew Bloom A-Train, Albert, Prince Albert Budget cut; released while he was injured with a torn rotator cuff. Citation needed November 1, 2004 Monty Sopp Billy Gunn, Mr. Ass, Billy G, RockaBilly Left After Contract Expired. Citation needed November 2, 2004 Rico Constantino Rico Was released due to budget cuts; Retired from wrestling. Citation needed November 3, 2004 Nidia Guenard Nidia Was released along with Gail Kim and Chuck Palumbo. Citation needed November 3, 2004 Gail Kim Gail Kim Released due to budget cuts. Citation needed November 4, 2004 John Hugger Johnny Stamboli Citation needed November 12, 2004 Linda Miles Linda Miles, Shaniqua Released because of attitude problems. Citation needed December 31, 2004 Dwayne Johnson The Rock, Rocky Maivia Retired from wrestling to focus on his movie career. Citation needed February 2005 Amy Weber Amy Weber Left after hazing from other Superstars. Citation needed March 2005 Rochelle Loewen Rochelle Loewen Left because she felt she wasn't getting enough exposure. Citation needed April 11, 2005 Terry Gerin Rhyno Released for having a rather public argument with his wife in a hotel foyer, breaking a vase in the process. Citation needed April 11, 2005 William Moody Paul Bearer Citation needed April 12, 2005 Nora Greenwald Molly Holly, Mighty Molly, Molly Requested release for personal reasons. Citation needed April 12, 2005 Aaron Aguilera Jesús Aguilera, Jesús, Uno Citation needed April 18, 2005 Lance Evers Lance Storm Asked for his release due to the condition of his back. Citation needed May 11, 2005 Matt Wiese Luther Reigns Citation needed June 2005 Lauren Jones Lauren Jones Left to star in movies and TV shows, considers coming back. Citation needed June 30, 2005 Marc Lloyd Marc Lloyd One of the first release in WWE's major budget cuts in Late June/July of 2005. Citation needed July 5, 2005 Maven Huffman Maven Was released along with 20+ others in July 2005. [3] July 5, 2005 Matt Hyson Spike Dudley, Spike WWE decided not to renew his contract. Believed to be a cost-cutting measure by WWE. [3] July 5, 2005 Peter Gruner Billy Kidman, Kidman Was released due to budget cuts. [3] July 5, 2005 Mark Jindrak Mark Jindrak Is one of the 20+ superstars released in July 2005. [3] July 6, 2005 Jackie Gayda Miss Jackie Is one of the 20+ superstars released in July 2005. [3] July 6, 2005 Joy Giovanni Joy Giovanni Was released due to budget cuts. [3] July 6, 2005 Devon Hughes D-Von Dudley, Reverend D-Von WWE decided not to renew his contract. [3] July 6, 2005 Mark Lamonica Bubba Ray Dudley, Buh Buh Ray Dudley WWE decided not to renew his contract. [3] July 6, 2005 Matt Morgan Matt Morgan Was released along with 20+ others in July 2005. [3] July 6, 2005 Dawn Marie Psaltis Dawn Marie Was also released along with 20+ others in July 2005; she was pregnant at the time. [3] July 6, 2005 Hiroko Suzuki Hiroko Is one of the 20+ superstars released in July 2005. [3] July 6, 2005 Kenzo Suzuki Kenzo Suzuki Is one of the 20+ superstars released in July 2005. [3] July 8, 2005 Jim Cornette Jim Cornette Released after many backstage confrontations at OVW. [3] July 18, 2005 Earl Hebner Earl Hebner Released for selling WWE merchandise without permission. Citation needed July 19, 2005 Dave Hebner Dave Hebner Released in connection with Earl Hebner incident. Citation needed July 22, 2005 Lisa Moretti Ivory Is one of the 20+ superstars released in July 2005. Citation needed July 25, 2005 Brian Heffron The Blue Meanie Short-term contract expired Citation needed August 13, 2005 Frankie Kazarian Frankie Kazarian Asked for his release after WWE wanted him to cut his hair. Citation needed August 26, 2005 Christopher Irvine Chris Jericho Left wrestling to tour with Fozzy, do movies and spend time with family. Citation needed September 11, 2005 Daniel Puder Daniel Puder Was released due to budget cuts; offered a lower salary but refused. Citation needed September 21, 2005 Mark Copani Muhammad Hassan Taken off TV at request of UPN over a storyline. Quit shortly thereafter. [4] October 29, 2005 Brian Hebner Brian Hebner Released, shortly after his father Earl Hebner and uncle Dave Hebner, for behavior problems. Citation needed October 31, 2005 Jason Reso Christian Contract expired. Citation needed December 5, 2005 Christy Hemme Christy Hemme Released as a budget cut. Citation needed December 8, 2005 Yoshihiro Tajiri Tajiri Asked for his release so he could go back to Japan. [5] [edit] 2006-2007 Release date Real Name Ring Name(s) Notes Reference 2006 Terry Funk Terry Funk Was injured at One Night Stand and advised not to return. Citation needed January 2006 Elisabeth Rouffaer Elisabeth Left WWE because she didn't feel like wrestling was the right job for her. Citation needed January 6, 2006 Eduardo Aníbal González Hernández Juventud Guerrera, Juventud Released for poor behavior backstage. Citation needed January 17, 2006 Jon Heidenreich Heidenreich Released by WWE after taking time off for ear infection. Citation needed February 2006 Thea Vidale Momma Benjamin Gimmick had ended. Citation needed February 10, 2006 Tom Matera Antonio Budget Cut [6] February 10, 2006 John Roselli Romeo Budget Cut [6] February 13, 2006 "Cowboy" Bob Orton "Cowboy" Bob Orton budget cut [7] February 22, 2006 John Toland James Dick Released due to backstage incident with his tag team partner. Citation needed February 22, 2006 Chad Wicks Chad Dick Released due to backstage incident with his tag team partner. Citation needed March 9, 2006 José Alvarado Nieves Super Porky Was released with entire Juniors Division. [8] March 9, 2006 Unknown Octagoncito Was released with entire Juniors Division. [8] March 9, 2006 Unknown Piratita Morgan Was released with entire Juniors Division. [8] March 9, 2006 Unknown Tsuki Was released with entire Juniors Division. [8] March 9, 2006 Unknown Mascarita Sagrada, Max Mini Was released with entire Juniors Division. [8] March 9, 2006 Unknown Pequeño Violencia Was released with entire Juniors Division. [8] March 21, 2006 Matt Anoai Rosey Mutual decision, both parties thought it was a good idea for him to take time off. Citation needed April 4, 2006 Travis Tomko Tyson Tomko Asked for release due to lack of Matches. Citation needed April 27, 2006 Brian Mailhot Palmer Cannon Requested release after hazing by other superstars. Citation needed May 26, 2006 Orlando Jordan Orlando Jordan He was released for having an unauthorized person with him on the road and backstage at events. Citation needed June 6, 2006 Joseph Laurinaitis Road Warrior Animal, Animal, The Road Warrior Released after throwing a temper tantrum backstage because his character ideas were all turned down by management. Citation needed June 14, 2006 Virgil Runnels III Goldust, Dustin Rhodes Released because he missed a Raw show while attending to family problems. Citation needed June 29, 2006 Joseph Dorgan Johnny Parisi Citation needed July 2006 Stacy Keibler Stacy Keibler, Super Stacy Let contract expire to pursue an acting career. Citation needed August 25, 2006 Kurt Angle Kurt Angle Granted an early release from his contract for personal reasons. [9] September 17, 2006 Patricia Stratigias Trish Stratus Retired from wrestling. Citation needed September 27, 2006 David Cash Kid Kash Released due to "attitude problems" [10] September 28, 2006 Peter Polaco Justin Credible, Aldo Montoya, P.J.Walker Released after no-showing an ECW taping and for failing to contact WWE management afterwards. Citation needed September 29, 2006 Marty Jannetty Marty Jannetty Fired for going AWOL and not contacting the office afterwards. Citation needed October 12, 2006 Francine Fournier Francine Released from her contract. [11] October 12, 2006 Brent Albright Gunner Scott, Brent Albright Released from developmental contract [12] October 26, 2006 Ted DiBiase "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase [13] November 1, 2006 Dionicio Castellanos Psicosis He was released following an arrest for allegedly stealing a car in Mexico. [14] November 26, 2006 Amy Dumas Lita Retired to focus on acting and music career. Citation needed December 13, 2006 Amy Zidian Amy Zidian Released from her contract because of attitude problems. [15] December 15, 2006 Dan Morrison Danny Doring Released from his contract. [16] 2007 Todd Romero Steve Romero Citation needed January 18, 2007 Chris Anderson C.W. Anderson, Christopher W. Anderson Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Doug Basham Doug Basham Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Carlene Begnaud Jazz Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Rodney Begnaud Rodney Mack Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 David Heath Gangrel Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Danny Holly Danny Basham Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Mike Shane Jake Gymini Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Todd Shane Jesse Gymini Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Charles John Spencer Tony Mamaluke Budget cut. [17] January 18, 2007 Sylvester Terkay Sylvester Terkay Budget cut. [17] January 19, 2007 Chris Chavis Tatanka Budget cut. [18] January 20, 2007 Bill DeMott Bill DeMott, Hugh Morrus Budget cut. [18] February 2007 Paul Wight The Big Show Contract expired. [19] February 27, 2007 Andrew Martin Test Released from contract [20] March 22, 2007 Rebecca DiPietro Rebecca Released [edit] RAW Jillian Hall (Jillian Fletcher) Mickie James Maria (Maria Kanellis) - Backstage interviewer, occasional wrestler Melina (Melina Perez) - WWE Women's Champion Candice Michelle (Candice Beckman) Queen Sharmell (Sharmell Sullivan-Huffman) - Valet and wife of King Booker [edit] SmackDown! Cherry (Kara Drew) - Valet of Deuce 'N Domino Kristal (Kristal Marshall) - Backstage interviewer, occasional wrestler Maryse (Maryse Ouellet) - Hostess of SmackDown! Michelle McCool Victoria (Lisa Marie Varon) Torrie Wilson [edit] ECW Brooke (Brooke Adams) - Member of Extreme Exposé Kelly Kelly (Barbara Blank) - Member of Extreme Exposé Layla (Layla El) - 2006 WWE Diva Search winner, member of Extreme Exposé [edit] Inactive Divas Ashley (Ashley Massaro) - (kayfabe) Suspended indefinitely Lilian Garcia - RAW ring announcer, inactive due to injury [edit] WWE Developmental Divas [edit] Ohio Valley Wrestling Victoria Crawford Katie Lea (Katarina Waters) Beth Phoenix (Elizabeth Carolan) Roucka (Milena Roucka) - Valet of Mike Kruel [edit] Florida Championship Wrestling Nattie Neidhart Shantelle Taylor (Shantelle Malawski) Krissy Vaine (Kristin Eubanks) [edit] Unassigned Talent Beulah McGillicutty (Trisa Hayes Laughlin) [edit] Notable former WWE Divas Ariel (Shelly Martinez) Nicole Bass Chyna (Joanie Laurer) Debra (Debra Marshall) Christy Hemme Molly Holly (Nora Greenwald) Ivory (Lisa Moretti) Miss Jackie (Jackie Gayda) Jacqueline (Jacqueline Moore) Jazz (Carlene Begnaud) The Kat (Stacy Carter) Stacy Keibler Gail Kim Lita (Amy Dumas) Dawn Marie (Dawn Marie Psaltis) Nidia (Nidia Guenard) Terri Runnels Sable (Rena Mero) Trinity (Stephanie Finochio) Trish Stratus (Patricia Stratigias) Sunny (Tammy Lynn Sytch) Tori (Terri Poch) Luna Vachon (Gertrude Vachon)

Read this crappy short story I found on some website.? post-28 weeks later, post fantastic 4: rise of the silver surfer. i'm beyond all that now. a fun-filled evil day at the theatre can be more fun than a case of beer and and a very aroused ex girlfriend, who you randomly bumped into in the middle of new york city. alas, the former is what i delved into today. with me now are three others, i'd like to mention. all three all small seedlings of the cannabis sativa plant. germinated, planted and miracle grown. they are coming in fairly nice. we worried about the properly lighting, temperatures, etc. neither one of us had any expierence in growing things. horticulture, is quite possibly an art. those artists, who grow the grapes, and make an amount of wine to be called delicious, they deserve special racognition. here's to you guys. at the wave pool the other day, i left my keys on the driver's side door. and henceforth locked them into my car. another careless mistake in the same vein as leaving my lights on. this event marks notch number four into the dialed triple a genre, and the score is now tied between leaving my lights on and locking my keys inside the vehicle. it's a serious game, dangerous and serious. who will win? it comes down, in the end, to whatever stupidity i feel like being involved in that day. last night at the bar. the hofbrau, located in the luxourious and wealthy east end canonsburg. east end has been home to some of the greats over the past few years. these selective few, they are awaiting admission into the rock n roll hame of fame. these elite, they are waiting for their stars on that street in hollywood, that highlights the stars. the hofbrau, the center of the heart of canonburg. the streets connecting to it, they are arteries. deeply clogged arteries that require economic properity and renewed interest to continue flowing blood at perfect level. the horbrau was a bar i would never go into by myself, or with a group of people for that matter. in any case, i went last night. external forces were acting on my and strange and mysterious ways. despite myths and legends that still haunt the woods of canonsburg the hofbrau was a fairly ordinary bar. the patrons were different, but the bar resembled the classic slapshots of dormont. sitting there i felt out of place, but at the same time i felt at home. there's a pool table at the hofbrau. my brother, friend, colleuage, and associate, and our wacky neighbor Alan were playing the table. working their balls in magical ways. after a few games of who fucked who first, a former co-worker of all of ours came into the bar. placing fifty cents on the side of the table, she signaled that she would want to play next. name changed for legal reasons, we shall call her female #1. her shirt was worn slighty above the top of the jeans. strange how the 360 degree piece of skin can draw so much eye, and banter. strange how every time she was cueing on my side of the table, the universe would suddenly become euphoric. strange how i still remember that, 24 hours later and sober now. but not that strange at all. first place girls are everywhere. always drawing my attention from the road i should be watching. or the ice cream cone i should be eating. poor, poor ryan connelly. perhaps his first time to stage. perhaps his first time delivering material, in front of a live studio audicence. poor, poor ryan connelly. at an amateur stand-up contest, ryan connelly was the first to stage. among the nice contestants, ryan went on first. the weight of the entire evening in his hands, ryan forgot his material. ryan couldn't remember the even slightest inkling of his observations. he puttered at the microphone. stumbling for his words. a second viewing of 28 weeks later, revealed some overly novice acting. but what can one expect from a horror film. most of the budget is spent on make-up and with a meager stock pile of money, acting is usually the least of a horror films worries. 28 weeks later is of course a sequel to the intensely popular 28 days later. the two compared are very different films. recently deceased cannibals have been a favorite genre of mine for as long as i can remember. night of the living dead(remake) was the first i can remember seeing. from there i went down of road of return of the living dead 2, dawn of the dead, day of the dead, return of the living dead, return of the living dead part 3, land of the dead, 28 days later, dawn of the dead, shaun of the dead, grindhouse, 28 weeks later. plus an even or odd number of less popular zombie films. perhaps its the post-devestation, or the struggle for survival, the valuable insight on the human condition or dilema, however i love zombie movies. the casino opened this week. ha, and on the same day west virginia counties began passing laws to allow card games. wheeling is expected to have them as early as labor day. pennsylvanians feeble minded plan to draw more interest and money to the state has been outwitted by the back woods bumpkins of w.v. i can't help but think of scooby doo. west virginia serves as scooby doo, and pennsylvania acts as a random masked man dressed up as some creature. we would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for those darn west virginians. in any case, scott and i sleazed our way down there, to get first hand expierience in the post modern pennsylvania life. many were worried that crime and drugs would come to western pa, if we allowed such triffel machines in our precious corner of the world. i saw no crime while i was there. there were however one dozen grade a, pastuerized cop vehicles sprawled all along race track road. waiting for some depressed, and broke drunk to pick a fight with the wrong cocktail waitress. every police guy in the building had one hand firmly placed on their night stick, their other gently stroking their man sized manhood. excited masturbation is all they would see this night. forty dollars, folded neatly into twenties were in my wallet. ready to win, win big. casinos are truly the meaning of america. the possibilty of winning. i don't understand why there needs to be any laws prohibiting or allowing them. the outlawing of gambling is outlawing our entire way of life. my first eleven dollars is blown real quick, with a blue moon, a heinken, and a cold shot of citron. the remaining twenty nine is lost among the hungry slots. ready for their first truly blood thirsty appetite. and these beast will not stop taking your money, even after they've mugged and raped you, they still thirst for more penetrating your entire soul, and causing some to take the great final plunge from a commercialized, xbox filthy planet to the big beyond below. on a lighter note, scott did leave the casino with more than he brought in. that bastard. i recommend going to anyone who is not currently perscribed to any mao inhibitors. the big finish to that fun time, was scott's acquisition of the attractive female bartenders number. now among the list of the many such phone numbers, the future of course in air. her name for legal reasons will also be omitted. only now known as female #2. fanatastic four 2. slightly better than the original, but still hasty on the eyes. tonight brought back memories of nancy callahan. the pole dancing alba from sin city. jessica is my one true love. and bill pullman is my dad. bill paxton my even less popular uncle. next up of course the much anticipated live free or die hard. i'm a bruce willis wannabe. he's is seriously the man. a diverse portfolio of work, and a pretty cool dude in general. from here on out, everything's going be ok. i can feel like everything that needed to fall into place has fallen. the casino has great carpet, a dump truck load of movies are coming out this summer. the pools are open and the out door barbeque pits are fired up. it's certainly not happiness or fulfillment, but summer break students are getting all the nourishment they need for this year.

FIRST JEEP...What do i need to take it off road? I recently purchase a 1998 jeep cherokee sports classic for 2,000. I had the brakes replaced. I put in a new muffler. It runs like a champ. What do i need to do to take it off road? I know i need a lift or suspension kit. I just don't know where to even start. Can someone help me out and throw a site my way with a list of parts i should look at? I don't have to much money because i'm going to school, i'm 17. this car has to last me 2 years to drive to and home from school and work. What should i change first? Go with a lift? Link? Brand?

Please offer an honest opinion of the prologue for my novel...? The sky always cries when a good man is buried. At least, that's what Grandpa whispered close to Momma's ear as the first drops of rain hit the tent we were seated under in the tiny cemetery. Momma just closed her eyes, nodding her head like she did when the preacher spoke some profound truth on Sunday mornings. I'd heard Grandpa say these words before, on that day last year as we watched President John F. Kennedy buried on the little television set Momma kept in the kitchen. I wondered if it had rained when they buried my father eight years ago, only hours before I was born. I thought about whispering the question to Momma, but the preacher started praying, so I bowed my head with the rest of them and tried to concentrate on the prayer. I once asked Grandpa if God wouldn't like it better if we talked to him with regular words instead of all those fancy ones the preacher used from the Bible. Grandpa said he reckoned God must like the fancy ones just fine since he put them in his Holy Word, but Momma said God liked plain talk just as much and long as I talked to God, she didn't think he minded that I wasn't so fancy as the Bible. This made me feel a little better, since I couldn't remember how to do all the "thee's" and "thou's". A few minutes after the preacher finished his prayer, it was time to walk past Uncle Lester's coffin and say goodbye one last time. I was glad none of the women were bawling and throwing themselves across the dead man, as I'd seen one of them do when we buried Grandpa's other brother, Mervin, two years ago. The sky hadn't cried that day, I thought to myself as Momma tugged me out of the tent. Wonder what Grandpa would say about that? I decided not to bring it up as the three of us walked to the car, with Grandpa's jacket held over our heads to protect us from the rain coming down harder and harder. In the distance, I heard the first rumblings of thunder, and I felt Momma speed up just a little. Momma hated storms for as long as I could remember, often locking herself in her bedroom and hiding under the blanket until it was over. On these days, Grandpa told me to leave her alone since storms brought bad things to Momma's mind. We'd play checkers at the big table in the dining room until Momma reemerged from the room, smiling in a sad way through swollen eyes that told us she'd been crying. I didn't know what kinds of bad things came to Momma when the sky turned dark with rain, but anything bad enough to make my Momma cry that long was too scary to ask about. We made it home from Uncle Lester's funeral just moments before the storm really broke, but this time Momma didn't go to bed to hide from the weather. She went straight into the kitchen and started putting cheese on crackers. When I looked at her questioningly, she said, "Lord knows everybody will still show up here, bringing their casseroles and tears for Uncle Lester, even though the wind's now blowing so hard I can hear the windows shake. No, not even this weather would keep them away, though I wish it would." I hated the way her hands shook everytime the sky rumbled, and I hated the people who would show up at our home and keep Momma from hiding herself from the storm she was so afraid of. I wanted to go to her, like I saw Grandpa do sometimes when that sad look would come into her eyes, and hold her and tell her in a soft voice that it would pass. I don't know why I didn't, except I wasn't sure my little eight year old arms would be enough to comfort a fear as big as the one I could see etched in every part of her face. She must have sensed something in me, because she smiled and put her arms around me. I buried my face in her blouse that smelled like the vanilla perfume I'd bought for her birthday. Knowing she was wearing it made me smile. "That's better," she said, lifting my face to look into hers. The fear had relaxed some, and I marveled at how beautiful she was. Momma was what Grandpa called a classic beauty, never needing any of the other makeup other women wore. Though sometimes, like today, she wore a bit of pink on her lips and cheeks. "Momma, did the sky cry when you buried Daddy?" I regretted asking at once, as I saw the tears come up in her brown eyes and felt her whole body stiffen again. She let go of me and turned back to the cheese and crackers. I reached out to touch her hair, the same color as her eyes, but drew my hand short. I'd hurt her with my question, and I didn't want to do anything to make that wound deeper. "I'm sorry, Momma. I just thought... because Grandpa said at Uncle Lester's funeral... " I turned to leave the kitchen, wanting to repair the damage I'd done and bring back the woman who'd held me so tight only seconds before. "Bishop," she said, and I spun quickly to look at her. "Go paint me a sky, Bishop Ryder. Paint me a blue sky to look at when I can't hide from the dark one outside. Paint sunshine to help me forget about all the dark skies I've ever seen." At that moment, the doorbell rung. Momma was right, the weather hadn't kept the mourners away. I could hear Grandpa walking down the hallway from the little room he and I shared. I heard him greet the people at the door, and I heard them murmmering all the words people say when somebody dies. I heard all this, but I was looking into Momma's eyes. She'd not looked away since she'd spoken, and I realized she was begging me. Pleading with her eyes to do as she'd asked, and make her memories of dark skies go away. "Paint me a sky, Bishop," she whispered softly one last time. Putting a soft smile on her face, she walked past me to help Grandpa greet our company. In my bedroom later that evening, after the storm had finished and all the people had left and Grandpa and Momma were outside smoking their cigarettes, I pulled out the watercolors I'd gotten for Christmas the year before. Momma told me she was tired of looking at my dark pencil drawings, so she'd bought me a whole set of paint with a little book showing how to mix and blend to get any color I wanted. It wasn't long before I began creating full canvases of landscapes that Momma insisted we hang in the living room. That night, I began to mix colors to paint Momma's sky. I knew just the blue I wanted to create, it was the same color as my eyes. Momma told me once she loved my eyes because they were blue like my Daddy's had been, and not dark like hers. It was one of those rare times when she talked about my father, and I sat quietly beside her, hoping she'd say more. She didn't, though, instead getting very still until Grandpa changed the subject. As I painted, I made the sky the same light blue as my eyes, as the eyes of a Daddy I'd never seen. I painted for hours, finishing just as Grandpa came in and began dressing for bed. When he saw the picture, he told me to take it to Momma's room right then instead of waiting until morning. "If anything will cheer her up, Bishop, it'll be that painting," he said, crawling under the blankets of his twin bed. I wanted to ask him so many questions, like why does Momma need cheering up when it was his brother we'd just buried and he seemed to be doing fine. I wanted to ask him why the sky hadn't cried when we buried Uncle Mervin, and why Momma hated storms so much. So many things I needed answers for, but he was already snoring softly, so I left him to his dreams and took Momma her blue sky. Of course, she loved the painting, declaring it the best I'd done so far and giving it a place of honor on the wall opposite her bed. "That way, there will always be a blue sky when I wake up in the mornings, "she said, hugging me to her. I smelled the vanilla again, mixed with cigarette smoke. It was the best thing I'd ever smelled, and I wanted to lay there with my head against her chest all night. It wasn't long, however, before she let go and told me to go on back to my own room with Grandpa. She looked again at the sky I'd painted for her, and smiled. I felt good inside knowing I made that smile happen. Momma's Sky hung in the same spot for several years, and I'd often see her looking at it when the clouds would roll over outside, threatening us with the storms she despised. I like to think my painting kept the sky blue for Momma no matter what, and perhaps it did for a while. Then a storm rolled in that changed our lives forever. The dark skies Momma always hid from finally found her, and no amount of blue paint would make them leave, though God knows I tried.

I posted this last week, but I'd like some more opinions. This is the prologue for my first novel...? The sky always cries when a good man is buried. At least, that's what Grandpa whispered close to Momma's ear as the first drops of rain hit the tent we were seated under in the tiny cemetery. Momma just closed her eyes, nodding her head like she did when the preacher spoke some profound truth on Sunday mornings. I'd heard Grandpa say these words before, on that day last year as we watched President John F. Kennedy buried on the little television set Momma kept in the kitchen. I wondered if it had rained when they buried my father eight years ago, only hours before I was born. I thought about whispering the question to Momma, but the preacher started praying, so I bowed my head with the rest of them and tried to concentrate on the prayer. I once asked Grandpa if God wouldn't like it better if we talked to him with regular words instead of all those fancy ones the preacher used from the Bible. Grandpa said he reckoned God must like the fancy ones just fine since he put them in his Holy Word, but Momma said God liked plain talk just as much and long as I talked to God, she didn't think he minded that I wasn't so fancy as the Bible. This made me feel a little better, since I couldn't remember how to do all the "thee's" and "thou's". A few minutes after the preacher finished his prayer, it was time to walk past Uncle Lester's coffin and say goodbye one last time. I was glad none of the women were bawling and throwing themselves across the dead man, as I'd seen one of them do when we buried Grandpa's other brother, Mervin, two years ago. The sky hadn't cried that day, I thought to myself as Momma tugged me out of the tent. Wonder what Grandpa would say about that? I decided not to bring it up as the three of us walked to the car, with Grandpa's jacket held over our heads to protect us from the rain coming down harder and harder. In the distance, I heard the first rumblings of thunder, and I felt Momma speed up just a little. Momma hated storms for as long as I could remember, often locking herself in her bedroom and hiding under the blanket until it was over. On these days, Grandpa told me to leave her alone since storms brought bad things to Momma's mind. We'd play checkers at the big table in the dining room until Momma reemerged from the room, smiling in a sad way through swollen eyes that told us she'd been crying. I didn't know what kinds of bad things came to Momma when the sky turned dark with rain, but anything bad enough to make my Momma cry that long was too scary to ask about. We made it home from Uncle Lester's funeral just moments before the storm really broke, but this time Momma didn't go to bed to hide from the weather. She went straight into the kitchen and started putting cheese on crackers. When I looked at her questioningly, she said, "Lord knows everybody will still show up here, bringing their casseroles and tears for Uncle Lester, even though the wind's now blowing so hard I can hear the windows shake. No, not even this weather would keep them away, though I wish it would." I hated the way her hands shook everytime the sky rumbled, and I hated the people who would show up at our home and keep Momma from hiding herself from the storm she was so afraid of. I wanted to go to her, like I saw Grandpa do sometimes when that sad look would come into her eyes, and hold her and tell her in a soft voice that it would pass. I don't know why I didn't, except I wasn't sure my little eight year old arms would be enough to comfort a fear as big as the one I could see etched in every part of her face. She must have sensed something in me, because she smiled and put her arms around me. I buried my face in her blouse that smelled like the vanilla perfume I'd bought for her birthday. Knowing she was wearing it made me smile. "That's better," she said, lifting my face to look into hers. The fear had relaxed some, and I marveled at how beautiful she was. Momma was what Grandpa called a classic beauty, never needing any of the other makeup other women wore. Though sometimes, like today, she wore a bit of pink on her lips and cheeks. "Momma, did the sky cry when you buried Daddy?" I regretted asking at once, as I saw the tears come up in her brown eyes and felt her whole body stiffen again. She let go of me and turned back to the cheese and crackers. I reached out to touch her hair, the same color as her eyes, but drew my hand short. I'd hurt her with my question, and I didn't want to do anything to make that wound deeper. "I'm sorry, Momma. I just thought... because Grandpa said at Uncle Lester's funeral... " I turned to leave the kitchen, wanting to repair the damage I'd done and bring back the woman who'd held me so tight only seconds before. "Bishop," she said, and I spun quickly to look at her. "Go paint me a sky, Bishop Ryder. Paint me a blue sky to look at when I can't hide from the dark one outside. Paint sunshine to help me forget about all the dark skies I've ever seen." At that moment, the doorbell rung. Momma was right, the weather hadn't kept the mourners away. I could hear Grandpa walking down the hallway from the little room he and I shared. I heard him greet the people at the door, and I heard them murmmering all the words people say when somebody dies. I heard all this, but I was looking into Momma's eyes. She'd not looked away since she'd spoken, and I realized she was begging me. Pleading with her eyes to do as she'd asked, and make her memories of dark skies go away. "Paint me a sky, Bishop," she whispered softly one last time. Putting a soft smile on her face, she walked past me to help Grandpa greet our company. In my bedroom later that evening, after the storm had finished and all the people had left and Grandpa and Momma were outside smoking their cigarettes, I pulled out the watercolors I'd gotten for Christmas the year before. Momma told me she was tired of looking at my dark pencil drawings, so she'd bought me a whole set of paint with a little book showing how to mix and blend to get any color I wanted. It wasn't long before I began creating full canvases of landscapes that Momma insisted we hang in the living room. That night, I began to mix colors to paint Momma's sky. I knew just the blue I wanted to create, it was the same color as my eyes. Momma told me once she loved my eyes because they were blue like my Daddy's had been, and not dark like hers. It was one of those rare times when she talked about my father, and I sat quietly beside her, hoping she'd say more. She didn't, though, instead getting very still until Grandpa changed the subject. As I painted, I made the sky the same light blue as my eyes, as the eyes of a Daddy I'd never seen. I painted for hours, finishing just as Grandpa came in and began dressing for bed. When he saw the picture, he told me to take it to Momma's room right then instead of waiting until morning. "If anything will cheer her up, Bishop, it'll be that painting," he said, crawling under the blankets of his twin bed. I wanted to ask him so many questions, like why does Momma need cheering up when it was his brother we'd just buried and he seemed to be doing fine. I wanted to ask him why the sky hadn't cried when we buried Uncle Mervin, and why Momma hated storms so much. So many things I needed answers for, but he was already snoring softly, so I left him to his dreams and took Momma her blue sky. Of course, she loved the painting, declaring it the best I'd done so far and giving it a place of honor on the wall opposite her bed. "That way, there will always be a blue sky when I wake up in the mornings, "she said, hugging me to her. I smelled the vanilla again, mixed with cigarette smoke. It was the best thing I'd ever smelled, and I wanted to lay there with my head against her chest all night. It wasn't long, however, before she let go and told me to go on back to my own room with Grandpa. She looked again at the sky I'd painted for her, and smiled. I felt good inside knowing I made that smile happen. Momma's Sky hung in the same spot for several years, and I'd often see her looking at it when the clouds would roll over outside, threatening us with the storms she despised. I like to think my painting kept the sky blue for Momma no matter what, and perhaps it did for a while. Then a storm rolled in that changed our lives forever. The dark skies Momma always hid from finally found her, and no amount of blue paint would make them leave, though God knows I tried. The working title is "Paint Me A Sky, Bishop Ryder" It might change later, but for now that one works for me.

Basic English (The Age of Realism)? Dead Men Tell No Tales THEY say that dead men tell no tales! Except of barges with red sails And sailors mad for nightingales; Except of jongleurs stretched at ease Beside old highways through the trees; 5 Except of dying moons that break The hearts of lads who lie awake; Except of fortresses in shade, The hearts of lads who lie awake; Except of fortresses in shade, And heroes crumbled and betrayed. But dead men tell no tales, they say! 10 Except old tales that burn away The stifling tapestries of day: Old tales of life, of love and hate, Of time and space, and will, and fate. —Haniel Long 14. Why is the poem ironic? because the title and refrain contradict the meaning because the speaker displays verbal irony because the tone of the poem is wry because readers are aware of information that the speaker does not know 15. What is the relationship of the title to the theme of the poem? The title expresses the theme. The title contradicts the theme. The title is unrelated to the theme. The title illuminates an aspect of the theme. 16. What is the best summary of the theme of the poem? Dead people have no place in the memory of the living. The dead are more imaginative than the living. The dead live on in history. The dead are best forgotten. 17. What kind of rhyme did Haniel Long use in this poem? exact slant internal blank verse 18. What is the most reasonable interpretation of the meaning of this line from the poem? The stifling tapestries of day: cares and worries of the working day difficulties of weaving tapestries polluted atmosphere created by factories oppressive everyday reality 19. On what should a reader depend when responding to a poem such as this one? vocabulary and usage the emotions the poem evokes the reader's ability to intellectualize logic and reason 20. Which word best describes the tone of the poem? humorous angry celebratory grim 21. What type of rhyme does the word pair good and food demonstrate? exact slant end internal 22. Which of the following creates tone? word choice figures of speech length sentence structure Vocabulary 23. Based on your knowledge of Freek prefix mono- and the meaning of the word travelogue, what does monologue mean? unvarying one topic single destination speech by one person 24. Based on your knowledge of the words rebellion and belligerent, to what concept does the Latin word part -bel- relate? beauty truth war speech 25. In which of these sentences is the Latin term terra firma used correctly? The police officer requested a writ of terra firma from the judge. After a month at sea, I was grateful to be on terra firma. We demonstrated terra firma when we all voted for the same candidate. Explorers needed terra firma to circumnavigate the globe. 26. Based on your knowledge of the meaning of the Latin root -ject- , what does the verb subject mean? complain act as a role model demonstrate proficiency cause to experience 27. Based on your knowledge of the meaning of the Anglo-Saxon prefix fore-, what does the noun forebear mean? ancestor minister winner hunter Grammar 28. Which sentence has a double negative? Under no circumstances can he attend this year's conference. According to the log, he was never in the building on Wednesday. You told me not to, so I didn't leave home. He couldn't never make a soufflé that didn't fall. 29. Which of these is a properly punctuated compound sentence? You may feel certain that you are right but still be completely wrong. Look carefully in the upper branches, or you will miss the nuthatch. For health reasons, Jorge never eats meat. Under the direction of an expert, anyone can repair a car engine. 30. Which of these is a sentence fragment? The most elaborate head covering interlaced with turquoise ribbons. Watch for cars! Reese woke early that fateful morning. Tana rarely studies, but she has never failed a test. 31. Which word does the adverb clause in this sentence modify? When the alarm blasted and the peacocks screeched, I knew this wouldn't be an ordinary day in paradise. blasted screeched knew ordinary 32. In the sentences below, which appositive phrase is punctuated correctly? The classic song, "Stairway to Heaven," is a genuine masterpiece. Many of the most satisfying Russian novels War and Peace for example are the most satisfying. Mr. McIntosh, an elegant dresser, was the first to rent a tuxedo. Bill met his first wife Helen Hobbes at a doctor's office. 33. In the sentences below, which interjection is punctuated correctly? Eek, a mouse! Oh, I don't know what I want to do tonight. Sure! I'll baby sit on Saturday. Uh! Where's the dish soap?

DO you like or love zack efront or jesse mccartney plz tell me why?

i love this movie? trains planes and automobiles it is so f***ing funny its not right i laughed my self off the chair i was siting on the first time i saw it about 7 years or so ago i like the part where they are in bed and john candy (dal grifath)says to steve martin (neil page)my hand is between two pillows and steve says THOSE ARET PILLOWS and the part where steve has to walk back to the airport rent a car place and he swears every second word p.s if you have not seen it go rent it or somthing cause its a timeless classic

How many receipt-less voting machines are used nation-wide?

How many receipt-less voting machines are used nation-wide?

How many receipt-less voting machines are used nation-wide?

Just started this story, rough, rough draft, looking for opinions? Part 1 of 4 – How this all came to be… 1. Wednesday’s are notorious for being the slowest day of the week. Every tick of the clock seems to move backward, and watching it only makes those movements backwards a hell of a lot slower. And as those ticks clicked backwards, Johnny could feel his pulse and temperature rising ever so slightly. The back of his neck felt like sun burn after being slapped, and his blood pressure bumped and thumped like the blood was trying to break loose. He’d look back at the clock, waiting, and waiting, and waiting for 3:15. 3:15 was the book of Revelation to him. It meant the day was over, at least for a couple more hours. It meant he could back home, relax, take a shower, masturbate, discuss the meaning of everything. But 3:15 was still a ways a way. He yawned and positioned himself in as many awkward positions as time would allow. Any awkward position would keep him awake, but only for a moment. Soon his inner body would adjust, and start falling asleep again. He felt mechanical. Two sides of him were competing for attention. Neither one was really winning, except whoever was making the more rationale argument. I could leave. Leave early, say I have a doctor’s appointment. (You would miss the rest of the lecture) I’m missing it anyway. I can barely stay awake. (You’re parent’s aren’t paying for you to sleep) Shut up. (You’ve got a child on the way) Those words woke him up more than any awkward position was ever going to. It made him breath deep breaths and sweat big sweats. He wasn’t even sure who he was, and now he was going to have to direct someone else’s life. It didn’t help that the professor was talking in somewhat hypnotic speech. Eerily soothing, and causing those eyelids to become perhaps a dozen times heavier than they already were. Johnny stuck it out. Just like he did every Wednesday. 2. Across campus, Timothy was already deeply engrossed in another afternoon film. It was the second film he had watched today. This semester he cleared most of his schedule for watching movies. He got a job at the campus library checking in and out books. Occasionally, he’d push the rack all over the library placing books in their respective places. He mother fucked the Dewey Decimal System to high heaven, claiming their had to be an easy way to catalog books. He always assumed someone else could do it. This afternoon’s selection was the 1948 Orson Welles version of Macbeth. Timothy was on a Shakespeare kick for the past two weeks. He’d brought home just about every version of Hamlet from the library last week. Bragnah and Zeffirelli and Olivier and Burton, not to mention the half dozen or so stage productions with names no one would ever recogonize. He said he saw something about himself in the character of Hamlet. Something about the madness, and the way Hamlet carried himself. The library was the perfect place for him to work. The campus library housed nearly every film ever made. The rows and rows of cinema, past and present, screamed “watch me.” Timothy was just the person to do that. 3. Concluding her fourth week teaching was Jocelyn. She was just finishing a lecture on neurons and how they worked. “Remember there is to be a test on Monday. This is going to be on. I’m going to ask you some tough stuff.” Her voice was drowned out by the sound of zippers and notebooks closing. You wouldn’t think of a notebook closing, making any noise at all. But given the onslaught of three hundred notebooks, and it was a symphony of whooshes and wishes. The semester was just getting started. She had settled in nicely, to the student teaching position. It curbed most of the cost of her graduate education. Her parents were happy about this. They weren’t so happy about the seven month unborn child she was carrying around. Unmarried. Still in school. Oh yes, her parents were plenty worried about that situation to even fully appreciate the tuition waiver for her graduate work. She had refused to tell her parents who the father was. At least up until now. Her parent’s patience was running thin, and she soon would. But first she had some thing of her own to clear up. She was constantly pondering her graduate degree, wondering and wondering if any of it was worth it. She wondered if she only enrolled to quell the fact that this child was the end of her young life. No condoms, how could I be so stupid. She thought this constantly, and consistently. She felt like the girl in the sex ed video, who stayed home on Friday, when her friends went out, just so she could watch her baby. Her friends, all of them, were so supportive, but their eyes fed her that thank-god—that’s-not-my-child look. She could feel their eyes move up and down her body, the same way a guy does to a girl he sees coming his way. But there eyes were not with with lust, or love, but complete relief. No fucking condoms, you stupid piece of shit. The last of the students headed out the door, just as she was gathering up her things. Just a lonely pregnant women in the middle of the auditorium, all alone. That’s how things for her had felt lately. 4. “The ending is more pronounced because of the change that Ching Fong goes through.” Johnny professors says, to a mostly interested class. Johnny’s arousal level is less than willing to continue. Who would have thought 18th century Japanese literature could be so boring? Johnny wondered if all literature was so boring. He even went as far to wonder if culture in general and everything about it was this boring. All the films, books, and paintings. Every poem, paragraph and page every written and typed, was it all bullshit. “What do you think, Johnny?” his professor asked. He realized his wandering eyes, and heavy yawns had attracted the attention of his teacher. “Uh, yeah.” He answered. The class giggled in unison. He had no clue what the lecture was about, hadn’t even paid attention in the last week. Johnny wasn’t even entirely sure he was reading from the same book as everyone else. “Mr. Walsh, part of your grade is participation. So I am asking for your opinion.” The professor was dead serious, in your face. The class’ eyes were all on him, waiting for his opinion. “I’m going to be honest, I have no clue what you’re talking about.” He answered. The laughs came back, but there were fewer this time around, like an inside joke that only a few are apart of. “Looks like that will be an F for participation today, Mr. Walsh.” The professor stared at him, half expecting a reply but continued right on with what he was talking about. Johnny wondered what this guy was like in middle or high school. Probably the kid who got quarters thrown at him in study hall. Johnny laughed on the inside at the thought of flying George Washingtons hitting him on the head. His gazed returned to the outside, where the weather was becoming more and more brilliant by the moment. The clouds were turning a light gray, not the kind that bring rain, but the kind that make Johnny feel complete. There was a slight breeze, he could discern from the swaying trees. Some kids were playing soccer on the lawn. Kicking the black and white ball back and forth. It didn’t appear there were any defined goals. There didn’t need to be, the whole point was just to be outside. Some other kids were just sitting under trees text or fictional books sprawled across their laps, ingesting the whole sum of human knowledge. Johnny’s deep blue eyes slightly watered at the thought that this was it. This room would be the end of him, and he knew it. His mood was in a downward spiral since the start of the summer. When she told him. When she told him, that within her, his seed had reached her egg, and together they were creating a child. She hadn’t quite put it like that, but he always preferred the most defined definition he could reach. I gave it to her. I gave it to her too damn good. (Better watch your mouth, round that newborn) My parents swore around me, and look, I’m fine. (Yeah you conceived a child that you have no clue how to care for) He remembered an idea from Introductory Psych. Objective Self Awareness. Whenever the focus shifts inward, you enter this state of subject awareness. When your self and self image don’t align, it produces negative feelings. His teacher then suggested this is why we see so many IPODS and ZUNES. So people can drown out their own thoughts and remain focused outward. Johnny sighed and succumbed himself to the last fifteen minutes of class. The outside was not much farther away. 5. “This is terrible.” Timothy said out loud to the walls and the carpet, and the stack of recently viewed movies on the floor. Among them such classics as the Campbell Scott version of Hamlet, the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally, and the fifth Star Trek film. The odd assortment of films was the way Timothy liked to watch them. He never liked to watch the same genre twice in a row. The past two weeks had been a rare exception to the rule. Consistency was key, as he examined the various productions of Hamlet. Timothy was looking for the differences between each production. The smallest of details, such as camera or lighting, and he jotted them down in a notebook. With his copy of Hamlet to his side, Johnny would here him all the way down the hall. Quoting Shakespeare four hundred years after the Bard had suffered the deep dark plunge we all go to. “Oh all you, host o heaven! O Earth! What else?” Timothy would recite. It would seem the voice were coming from the walls, or that Johnny was schizophrenic. But no, not at all. It was the sounds of the Globe Theatre traveling through time, and space to America. To Pennsylvania. To Pittsburgh. It was being absorbed in the hearts of the young, being prepared for passage to another generation. Timothy was not enjoying this version of Macbeth at all. Maybe it was the black and white of it all, but Timothy could not even stand to finish it. He turned it off and returned it to it’s proper case. His afternoon was carefully planned to have enough time to watch this, then the Roman Polanski version, then study for the up and coming “exam of the semester, quite possibly my life” is what he was calling it. The change in plans gave him some extra free time. So he stared at the wall, working on the story waiting to be poured onto paper. 5. Johnny quickly left the lecture hall, not wanting to be stopped by Professor Asshole on the way out. For the obvious and not so obvious reasons. The first of course being he was afraid he might actually slip and call him professor ASSHOLE! And the second being, he didn’t feel like getting the paying attention will help you do better lecture. Or the I’m not standing up here for my health lecture. He’d heard them before, or some version of them. He had pretty much been uninterested in anything but philosophy since he took his first class all those years ago. The ideas and thoughts and logic of the past four thousand years was constantly bouncing around in his mind, and his pure undivided attention was constantly on that. Pondering and wondering. Thinking and reasoning. 6. Timothy had a notebook where he kept pictures and comments. Little shreds and bits of information that he eventually thought would help him in the screenwriting process. His whole view of Planet Earth changed when he would doodle away at the notebook. The cries for help from Africa, the depleting ozone layer, the pollution and over population, the whole world just went away. His friends, mostly Johnny, often wondered if there was a screw or two loose. Something just never made sense with Timothy. In all actuality, that is just the way he presented himself. One step behind the rest. He scrawled a few shapes and figures into the notebook. Hoping that some ultimately amazing wonderful tidbit of dialogue would come pouring outward onto the paper. Some great quote that college kids, and adults alike would continue saying for years afterwards. Something inspirational, and spine tingling. His getting longer by the day black hair was at his eyes right now. He loved the way it blew in the wind, even if everyone he knows did not. He was slightly chubby, but nothing a doctor would recommend a safer diet over. Most of the clothes he wears are two sizes too big, and he only shaves when he absolutely has to. Yet he cannot grow a full beard at this point. More like sporadic spots of hairs. A “chin strap” is what some up tight sorority girl had called it last semester. His school nurse, and his eye doctor all decided he should wear corrective lenses. He never does, except when he’s behind the wheel of a car. The glasses he has now are the same ones he got in junior high. He writes in his notebook: The fate of your life is directly affected by the fate of those around you. “That’s the worst quote in the history of quoting.” He says to himself. He ponders lighting up the old bubbler. Let rip a few quick hits of the wacky tobaccy before he sails off to watch the other version of Macbeth. He draws a man drowning at sea with a bubble above it screaming help. Next to that he draws a big boat and writes TITANTIC along the side. The guy in the tower has a bubble now too. It says “sorry pal, can’t stop for nothing.” He laughs to himself and closes the notebook. Another day at the office he assures himself. 7. Jocelyn is walking down the aisle of the auditorium, the weight of her bag to her side. If someone was observing her from the backside, they would think she was having a seizure the way she was walking. She could truly care less though. Abortion was an idea that she hadn’t really thought about at all. She remembered in the weeks after she told Johnny she was pregnant, she could see it in his eyes. Those eyes that were begging for an abortion chit chat. It seemed to her that he was just waiting for her to bring it up.She had wanted to talk about it, but every time she saw that he was eager and willing to get rid of this child, it angered her, and made her want it that much more. And now, she insisted it was too late. She remembered when she was an undergrad, and walking along Forbes Ave, some old lady was holding a great big poster, depicting an abortion at twenty-three weeks. The picture was disturbing but effective in one aspect. She stopped and yelled at the old woman, declaring it was a women’s right to choose. She even attended a march for Female’s Rights a few years back. She had always argued in favor of it, but now, when it was her child, she couldn’t help but cradle her belly and imagine the life she planned to give her child. Whether or not Johnny was going to be apart of it, was debatable. 8. In the last ten minutes of each hour, the hallways filled up with students from every area of the globe. Johnny had come from a suburban white man’s paradise. Coming to Pitt was the biggest culture shock he had ever received. A lifetime of one type of person, and suddenly inserted into the throbbing heart of the idea of America. He had savored every moment, unlearning everything K through 12 taught him. Public Education, he declared in an essay, was flawed. It was one dimensional. He considered the pledge of Allegiance. Writing about the pledge, he realized he couldn’t even remember it. We spend thirteen years, reciting the Pledge daily, to leave it behind once we leave high school. He had not said it once since then. And it was a system of control. Implemented by men in suits far away trying to curb individualism. Or so he had wrote. “Hey.” A voice called from behind him. It was Justine. He turned to see her smiling and eager to talk. “Hiya.” He replied, smiling. Justine was a nice break from the going to be a father routine. “Boring class.” She said, slugging her book bag over her shoulder. “Is it ever exciting?” he questioned. “You damn philosophers, always asking questions but never coming up with any real answers.” She laughed. Johnny leaned in real close to her, almost directly next to her ear. “That’s what makes us so attractive.” He laughed, and so did she. It was a I-Want-You laugh. But both of them knew the reality of Johnny’s situation. Both of them knew that on it’s way was a boy or girl, and for the next eighteen years or so, Johnny would be busy cradling, raising, and sending off to college a child. “You wanna go get a cup of coffee?” She asked. He shook his head. He wondered what they were brewing down at the French Press. “Alright, but I insist on you buying.” He laughed again and they took to the steps. Johnny this is masturbation. (Dude) Well, you’re a child, and this is the big boy’s menu. (Touche) 8. Jocelyn stopped to talk to one of her students waiting outside the auditorium. Her name was Tammy, and she nearly waited everyday outside the door. Tammy always asked the most interesting questions about psychology. She seemed generally interested in it, and Jocelyn assumed this girl would eventually declare psych as a major. She just hated the idea of her waiting till after class to ask the question. Tammy was obviously shy. But the questions she was asking were ones the whole class could benefit from. “Ms. Everett, hey, how are you.” Tammy said. She was still holding her notebook, and glancing at it as she walked up. “I’m pregnant.” She replied, solemnly. She hoped the question would be simple. She wanted to go lie down and eat a half pint of ice cream. “Oh, really, I hadn’t noticed.” Tammy smile, nervously. “Anyway, I just have a quick question.” “Concerning neurons?” “Ummm, not quite. I was looking through your page on the school’s website.” She started. Jocelyn felt suddenly violated. You looked at my website, for what? “I saw that you were a part of a undergraduate research project.” Christ, this is going to take forever. “And I was curious how one gets involved in such things.” She was just a curious student, curious like she was when she started school. Interested in how the great big gray matter could produce feelings of love, hate, and complete and utter dissatisfaction with life. “Tammy, I have to head to a OB appointment. Can you stop by my office tomorrow around 11. I’ll give you all the details, and introduce you to the researcher involved in that.” “Oh, yeah, sure.” She laughed, but it was filled with anxiety, and embarrassment. Jocelyn didn’t really have an appointment, at least not today. But she was exhausted, lugging her bag of education all around campus. She never envisioned doing this while pregnant. She suddenly was jealous of her friends from high school. They were either engaged or married to men who were going to take care of them for the rest of their lives. Till death or divorce do them part. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Tammy hurried off. Jocelyn watched as she walked away and headed out the door. Was Tammy so much different then her three years ago? She wondered if she had just shattered a girl’s dreams of making a difference. She always said the biggest problem with the youth was no one wanted to make a difference. Perhaps it was because there were so many problems that the aspect of making a difference was such a loaded issue. Global warming, overpopulation, health care, mental health. There were more problems than solutions associated with those. And now it was her generation’s responsibility to correct all this. The past fifty years of American Hedonism and unilaterialism had pretty much destroyed any prospect of America in the future. And now, when her generation failed there would be nothing but cynicism towards her. She imagined her child, starving to death, or dying of an uninsured illness saying “Thanks a lot, Mom. Thanks for letting me die.” She felt like crying. And maybe as she was watching t.v. and eating Ben and Jerry’s she would. She would let a small river, or creek of tears stream down her face and try and be optimistic. 9. Timothy burnt his thumb lighting up his bubbler. He usually did, especially when trying to take a big hit. Smoke billowed up from the marijuana, and he held in the lung-full hit he had taken. He could feel it lingering in his lungs. A little longer. He could see the gray color sinking into his lungs, and the smaller molecules journeying to his brain. He could see the smaller molecules binding to his neurons, and completely fucking him up. Joceyln had explained it all to him one time. One day when the two of them were stoned, she told him exactly what happened upstairs. He always liked getting stoned with Jocelyn, but she hadn’t smoked in a long, long time. Ever since she decided she wanted to be a doctor. But only lately had she become the uptight chick she was. At this point, he just felt bad for Johnny. He could see the way Johnny looked at her and knew his friend didn’t want that. But the two of them were far past breaking up at this point. Even if they wanted to, they had been brought up to respect the idea of the American family. Raised in a house with a mom and dad. The sad part was that neither of them were completely sure of it. Johnny had never said anything, but it was the way he acted around her, or didn’t act around her. He did not respond to her like he used to. It used to be she said jump, and he was in the air. But now, it seemed it was all Jocelyn could do to keep him around. He remembered one night he’d come home from class, and there was a note one the table saying he was going away for a little bit, to clear his head. Johnny had just up and left. But he was back by the next day. When Timothy asked him what was wrong, he just said he was stressed and left it at that. Another big hit, and he could feel the drug kick in. Everything became heavy and light. It felt like his conscious was trying to keep up with reality.

Hollywood Squares Classics? Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver (aka Clifford Arquette ): Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie : You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde : Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie : Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen : Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde : Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

A new contract for 2008? A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209

christmas jokes!!! check it out? new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies.However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however,there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!"And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be playedon all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be:Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It. "Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209

The new southern santa? A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209

Follow the Global Warming Money? Follow the Global Warming Money Interesting global warming story. Oh. I've got actually two interesting global warming stories. The first one here from JunkScience.com, Steve Milloy. "Should conservatives give up the fight just as the tide is turning in their favor in the debate over global warming? "In the cover story of the June 25 National Review, software company CEO Jim Manzi wrote that conservatives should stop 'denying' that humans are warming the planet and instead figure out how to use global warming to 'peel off' 1 percent of the vote in the 2008 presidential election. Manzi claims that this strategy could represent a 'principled stand' for a 'clever candidate.' But Manzi’s strategy, in fact, represents the snatching of defeat from the jaws of victory -- and all for relatively few votes of uncertain, if any, political value. "Manzi says conservatives should believe in global warming, not because of 'liberal scaremongering ... but because of the underlying physics' -- which he apparently doesn’t grasp in the least. 'All else being equal, the more carbon dioxide molecules we have in the atmosphere, the hotter it gets,' writes Manzi." Wrong! More carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is not likely to significantly contribute to the greenhouse effect. It's just all part of the hoax. But here's the money quote in this story. "For all its alleged concerns about catastrophic global warming, what is the alarmist-friendly Democratic Congress doing about it? The answer is nothing. Though the Senate passed an energy bill last week, it didn’t dare approach the question of mandatory reductions in greenhouse gas emissions. It seems that burdening the economy because of Al Gore’s dubious science may, after all, be bad politics." Now, the House of Representatives Wednesday did pass a piece of legislation or a statement affirming the existence of global warming, but nobody is establishing policy to do anything about it. We're not joining Kyoto, people that live in areas that are supposed to be destroyed by global warming are still raising property values in those areas by creating a mad dash to buy there. My idea earlier in the week of setting up betting lines, take every proposition that Gore makes in this propaganda movie of his and make a betting line out of it. "New York City under water in 20 years," whatever it is. Then watch and see how many of the proponents actually put money on their own predictions so that they can triple their money, double, whatever, and get rich. And none of them would. None of them would risk their fortunes putting money behind their own predictions. We can all get rich fast because we wouldn't lose. We would win, because these predictions are not going to happen as Gore and others lay them out. Finally, ladies and gentlemen, the subject of our morning update today, classic. "A top Dallas law firm Thompson & Knight formed a dedicated practice of 26 lawyers to handle 'climate-change' litigation. Not to be outdone, Vinson & Elkins, another Dallas firm, launched a 41-lawyer climate-change battalion. The lawyers anticipate lawsuits brought by plaintiffs claiming damages due to global warming. Not to mention all the coming legal activity surrounding 'caps' on emissions. Already, lawyers are talking with Inuits -- a tribe of Canadian Eskimos -- who claim their island paradise has been harmed by global warming and are out to sue somebody. American. Houston lawyer Steve Susman says melting glaciers won't make big legal waves, 'but wait until the first big ski area closes because it has no snow. Or wait until portions of Manhattan and San Francisco are under water.'" So you got a bunch of lawyers gearing up here, folks. Who they going to sue? If Manhattan ends up under water, who are they going to sue? Who are they going to sue? They're going to sue somebody. Think John Edwards on this. So here's how this works. First, liberals invent a problem based on junk science, in this case global warming, and then they promote it via their Drive-By Media allies. Then liberal politicians make laws to protect the supposed aggrieved victims, the little guys. Then a bunch of John Edwards types descend on American companies. The lawyers get wealthy, and then from their wealth they donate some money back to liberal politicians, and they keep the cycle going. This is what's at stake here. When lawyers start getting in the game, start trolling for lawsuits -- they expect this to produce more money, folks, than those giant tobacco settlements. Keep a sharp eye. Follow the money and understand what's really going on. This is a hoax. It's junk science. It's being portrayed as something to make you scared to death we're all going to die. You're supposed to vote liberal for this; supposed to make some sacrifices; pay higher taxes; drive a car you don't want to drive; live in a house you don't want to live; live where you don't want to live; detergent you don't want to use, all this rotgut stuff, and then at the end of the day even after doing all that you're still going to get sued or you're going to pay a price. Or maybe you'll be a turncoat and hire one of these lawyers. Big rainstorm comes, floods your house, that's global warming, who can I sue? Well, a lawyer will find somebody to sue for you. Hello, if big tobacco thought that they were in the crosshairs -- I don't know who's in the crosshairs on this, the US government, but it's going to be various industries who are said to be polluting and Big Oil will probably be the big target here, Big Oil, Big Natural Gas, electricity, utilities, this sort of thing, it's coming, you have been warned.