Overhaulin' - Classic Chevy Car Parts Knowledge Base

Classic Chevy Car Parts Knowledge Base

Besides EBAY does anyone know of a good source o f classic chevy car parts for a 1970 Chevy Caprice or Impala Specifically I am looking for the wheel opening trim for the passenger rear wheel opening 1970 Chevy Caprice or Imapla 4 door

what is a website to buy classic car parts? what is a website that i can buy a 572 fender emblem for my 1968 Chevy Camaro SS with a 527 cubic inch motor witch originally came with a 350 and ive put a 572 in it within the last few months so Chevy does make a 572 motor it was a tight fit but i managed to get it into the engine bay for those of you who dont think chevy made a 572 here is a link saying all the motors chevy makes and they do make a 572 starting in the early 2000's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevrolet_Big-Block_engine

Good website for classic ('60s and '70s) Chevy parts? Can anyone recommend some good websites for finding parts for Chevy muscle cars? By good, I mean not a bunch of crap to sort through like on eBay, and no spam like craigslist. The ability to search for parts by area would be great, too. Please accept my thanks in advance :)

Someone stole and hotwired my 04 Chevy Classic, they took the part WHERE THE KEY GOES IN, and the radio.? Now my car has two red wires sticking up from the center console that I have to put together to start my car, I do not know what parts I need to make my key ignition work properly, please help!!!

I'm ordering car parts and I need some help!! It's a Chevy Cobalt. Please help! thank you! READ.? I need help with the following: I have a 05 Chevy Cobalt LS Coupe. I want to know if the 07-10 CD/Ipod adapter/Radio will fit in my car correctly. As well play music, and would It be able to function with my steering wheel audio controls? Will it actually work when pluged in, if it fits? With out reading a "LOCKED" code. I don't know if it fits, the backs kind of look diffrent, from pictures. Air filter which is better? AC DELCO or Purolator Classic? If you think purolator, could you give me a website to order from? I wanted to change out my lights to Xenon HID Headlight Bulbs, but do I have to get a conversion kit? Or can I just pop the bulbs in their. I hope I don't need to get a conversion kit. What would the best oil for my car be as well? It's a automatic by the way, if you needed that information. Okay, well PLEASE Help me so I can get stuff figured out today. Thank you for you help, I will gladly pick a best answer!!

I need body parts for a 73 Plymouth Duster, 62 BelAir, and 69 GTO. Where are the cheapest places to buy from? I am looking for quarters, floor pans, frame rails, etc as well as interior kits, carpet and chrome/aluminum dress up kits for classic and custom cars I'm in the process of building. If anyone has info on cheap places to find especially Plymouth Duster parts(frame rails, quarters, trunk extensions, interior parts) please let me know. I already use Goodmark, Paddock, Summitt, Sherman Industries, Harmon's, LMC, Classic Chevy, Hubbards, Eckler's, PAW, and of course eBay but if you have any other well-kept secrets I'd surely appreciate it. Anything American auto related would be a plus. Thanks so much for your help......I'm also very interested in finding salvage yards and anywhere that would have used parts for the antique and classic cars and trucks. Any state!!! I love to travel.

Trying to find a classic car clothing website (T-shirts). Help? My boyfriend restores old cars and is really into classic cars, 5o's Chevy's, etc.) His birthday is coming up and I'm putting together a bunch of things to give him as part of his gift. I'm trying to find a decent website with DECENT shirts. He's 30 so I don't want grandpa looking pastel colored tshirts. Something cool. Suggestions?

How much would it cost to repair a 1936 chevy? I was looking into buying a classic 1936 chevy but the body has rust everywhere and seems coroded, most the original parts are still in the car..how much would it cost for repair for the body??also how do u think it would b all together thanks

Where can I find online a guide to restoring a classic car? I am looking at a 1972 Chevy Nova for $1,600. As you probably guessed from the price, it needs a lot of work. Well I want to completely restore this Nova from the ground up. And yes, I know that it will take a lot of time, money, effort, and patience to do something like this. But I am very committed to it. Well honestly, I have never restored a car before. So I know hardly anything about what's involved. So can anyone tell me where online I can find a guide on how to, along with everything else included, restore a classic muscle car? And also, where can I find a website or catalog of complete restoration factory parts for a 1972 Chevrolet Nova ONLY? Thank You Very Much! 10 Points to Best Answer!

How hard is it to hook up a car subwoofer? I got an offer from a friend that i could have an old subwoofer she used before she had a kid, i don't know if she has the cable for it or not, but i was just wondering how hard it would be to hook it up, oh yeah the best part is the car i am putting it in is a 4 door 1989 chevy caprice classic. i already had to put in an after market radio that has out puts for a sub. oh yeah, do i need an amp or not? How does the amp get power? from the car battery, threw the stereo?

Help with classic muscle car pricing? Hello, i am seeking a car for around $5000. Do you think this is possible for a stick shift, full framed car with a running engine, The cars i would like: 1969 pontiac gto the judge, 1971 dodge charger, 1971 plymouth duster, 1968 chevy camaro, 1968 firebird 400, or 1970 chevelle ss. Also, if it would b 1 i have to restore (which i dnt mind) could u estimate the parts pricerange? Thx :P

im 17 and want to buy an classic american muscle car,? I want to buy a project muscle car from the late 60-early 70's era.. Any ideas on one that i could easily restore with abundance of reproduction parts and stuff.. Im a big chevy guy, but also like mopars.. please no fords.. they are ugly!

Would it be a bad idea to have an older classic or muscle car as a first car? Bear with me. I'm 16, and I'll be getting my license in late october, and I am currently looking for a job. So, to the point. I absolutely LOVE older cars. I'm not so much worried about the size of the car, because I've driven a couple big cars, and those are easy for me. The next thing I'd have to worry about, is gas milage. So, here the next part of this. Depending on insurance, I don't know if I should drive any real muscle cars, because it would be classified as a sports car. (Maybe they wouldn't worry about it, because it'd be so old. But I don't know) So I was thinking of a 1971, 72, or 73 Monte Carlo. They are bigGER cars, but I've driven bigger, and they weren't a problem for me. How would the gas milage be for a 71-73 Monte Carlo with a turbocharged V6? I don't think a 4-cylinder would even MOVE a 71' Monte Carlo, and the turbocharger would actually save some gas. If the car had a turbocharged V6, would the insurance company bite me in the ass? Monte Carlos have never really been considered sports cars in the last 30 years anyways. They were just cars with 2 doors. (Apparently, if i car has only 2 doors, its considered a sports car; according to insurance companies) Like I said, I am looking for a job. Reason 1.) I want one. Reason 2.) I need one because my parents told me as soon as I got a car, I'd be paying for my own insurance. (And of course its gonna be high anyways because I'm 16) I asked both my mom and stepdad about those older Monte Carlos, and they said they were good, SAFE, solid cars, and they wouldn't have a problem with me driving one. My real dad wants me to get a really small car, like a Chevy Cavalier, or a Ford Ranger, or ANY small car that you can total just by hitting it anywhere with a baseball bat. And the SAFETY ratings on Cavaliers, Rangers, any small car, are Terrible. My real dad is more worried about insurance rather than my safety, and my dad wouldn't even be paying for the insurance!!!! Since I love older cars, I'm trying to make a compromise with myself about getting a 1971, 72', or 73' Monte Carlo. They're nothing compared to a 1969 z28 Chevy Camaro, or any 60's or 70's era Dodge Challenger, or 1972 Plymouth Barracudas, but Monte Carlos CAN have the potential to turn some heads if they look nice. (Since I'd might drive it to school, I'd probably make it look like a piece of shit. Probably put some scratches or small dents in the car, etc. But in reality, it'd have a hell of an engine, transmission, and other great parts. I wouldn't want anyone to want to steal it, but nobody my age is interested in older cars anyways, because they think they'd break down, even if they are completely restored......I think that's hilarious.....lol) Also, I CAN drive a manual transmission, so that's no big deal. Give me any advice. I appreciate your knowledge.

2005 Chevy Malibu CLASSIC? Hey, people. Here's the deal. I need to find a website ( or more!) that sells performance parts for this car. I don't mean JCWhitney.com, PartsTrain.com, car-stuff.com or the like. I need performance... mass air flow sensors, air intake and induction, throttle body spacers, etc.... anyone know any good sites that sell stuff for THIS car? THANKS!!

were is the horn relay on a 1993 chevy caprice classic? I need to get my car inspected but i need to add this horn relay. I have this part but i cannot find were is belongs. Some one told me in one of the boxes under the hood but i cant seem to figure out which one of them it is. PLEASE HELP!!!

Buying a classic for my first car? Okay....hear me out....... I'm 16, looking for a job, and getting things organized (as far as money) So.......I want to save at least $6000 before I buy a car......(because you get what you pay for)......For my first car, I'd LOVE to have a classic......I'm not getting my hopes up for my dream car which is a 69' Z28 Camaro, but I was thinking of something like a 71' Monte Carlo or a 73' Nova......(I want to stick with Chevy)......Now, I've done research......it costs about $6000 to buy a decent used classic with a halfway decent engine and transmission......I don't mind if its a bit beat up, because I want to restore it.....I know it will take time and money, but what else do I have to worry about?......I'll be putting away money for insurance, parts, and other miscellaneous things I'll need for it....(gas, plates, tags, etc..) I would have a job, therefore money, and I have plenty of time on my hands.....Right now, I'm a sophmore in high school.....I wouldn't even have $6000 until August or September of next year.....by then, I would be 17 (a junior).....so its not like I have anything more important to do, other than go to work......so....here are my calculations...... if found a job within next month.......I work 4 hours/day X 5 days a week = 20 hours/week i get paid about $7.50/hour X 20 = $150 - taxes = about $130 ? 4 weeks in a month? X $130 = about $520 $6000 divided by $520 = 11.5 months (plus, any money I'd be making on the side would make time go by faster) So it would be almost a whole year by the time I'd have the money I want to save up to.....and to be honest, I think 16 is too young to have a car anyways.....at least when I'm 17, I'll be another years worth repsonsible....... So then when I finally bought the car, I'd have plenty of time on my hands to work on it, and cash would be flowing into my bank account.....money to put into the car, and money for insurance...... So give me your opinion.....message me, and ask me what else is going through my mind about this

2005 Chevy Malibu Classic issues? On my 2005 Chevy Malibu,a little over a month ago I took the car into the Chevy dealership because the steering column would smoke while the car was on. The department determined that it was an issue between the multi through switch and the 4 way switch, cleaned some residue off the cables and called it good. Before I even signed for the service, they had to take apart the steering column, and part of the dash again, because it was smoking. They replaced both the multi-through and the 4 way switch, because according to them they were causing feedback to each other and it would have caused a fire eventually. The process had started with the blinkers not working, then spazzing out, and then the smoke coming. Just this morning, the blinkers quit working, AND started spazzing out again. I don't see any recall information on this online, but I'm unsure how to talk to the dealership about this, or if this is a known issue at all. My wife and I spent 400 dollars on this not even 2 months ago to fix, and now it seems to be happening again, I dont want to have to spend anymore money here. Anyone have any ideas as to what is going on, and how to fix it?

WHERE CAN I BUY ANTIQUE OR VINTAGE BODY PANELS AND PARTS? I AM LOOKING FOR AUTO BODY PARTS: I HAVE A NASCAR OPEN WHEELED MODIFIED STOCK CAR. WHEN IT WAS FIRST BUILT BACK IN 1984 THEY USED AN OLDSMOBILE FIRENZA 2 DOOR COUPE BODY OR SKIN. ON OPEN WHEELED MODIFIEDS THEY ONLY USE THE BODY PANELS FROM THE FIRE WALL BACK, AND ONLY THE OUTER SKIN. SO I NEED THE ROOF, RIGHT AND LEFT DOOR SKINS, R AND L QUARTER PANELS, TRUNK LID ECT......... DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN BUY THESE BODY PARTS? DON'T SAY A SALVAGE YARD, I JUST NEED THE SKINS, THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH WORK IN SEPARATING THE OUT SKIN AND MAKING IT FIT RIGHT. FOR EXAMPLE; IF I BUY AN ENTIRE DOOR, I WOULD HAVE TO CUT THE OUT SKIN OFF. BACK IN 1984 YOU COULD BY JUST THE SKINS. FROM THE MID 1960'S UP UNTIL THE LATE 70'S MY FATHER BUILT NASCAR MODIFIED STOCK / RACE CARS. THE LAST CAR HE BUILT WAS IN THE LATE 70'S AND HE USED THE SKIN OF A FORD PINTO. BACK THEN YOU COULD BUY JUST THE OUTER BODY SKINS. WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND A COMPANY THAT SELLS REPLICA OR SURPLUS BODY PARTS FOR ANTIQUE OR CLASSIC CARS. I HAVE ANOTHER VINTAGE OPEN WHEELED MODIFIED AND THIS ONE HAS A 59 ANGLIA BODY ON IT NOW, I WANT TO PUT A DIFFERENT BODY ON IT, FOR EXAMPLE A 1934 CHEVY 5 WINDOW COUPLE OR MAYBE EVEN A 1970'S PINTO BODY. SO IF ANYONE KNOWS OF A COMPANY THAT SELLS REPLICA OR SURPLUS BODY SKINS OR PANELS PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I DID A SEARCH FOR PINTO BODY PARTS AND I ONLY FOUND FRONT FENDERS. THANKS FOR YOU HELP. AGAIN, I DON'T WANT TO BUY AN ENTIRE CAR AND HAVE TO CUT IT UP. THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH WORK INVOLVED IN DOING IT THAT WAY. TO GET A BETTER IDEA OF THE TYPE BODY PARTS I AM LOOKING FOR GOT TO DAARARACING.COM OR GOOGLE THE ATLANTIC CITY SPEEDWAY. OR NORTHEASTERN VINTAGE STOCK CAR ASSOCIATION. THANKS AGAIN ALREADY KNOW ABOUT NORTHEAST VINTAGE STOCK CAR ASSOCIATION. I AM LOOKING FOR A COMPANY THAT MAKES OR SELLS VINTAGE BODY PARTS, EITHER SURPLUS OR REPLICAS, ECT......

How do I go about getting started with buying/restoring a 1957 Chevy Bel Air? I've been searching the internet for months trying to find any info I can specifically about this model of car. I've learned a lot, but there are some major topics I haven't been able to learn ANYTHING about. I'm starting to get quite frustrated as it seems that nearly every resource out there is geared towards people who already know what they're doing and/or have had one of these cars for years already. For example, on general guides I've read over and over that I need to research what typical problem areas are for the model of car I'm interested in. Do they have problems with fuel gauges breaking often, wiring problems, etc... But anytime I try to research this for the 57 Bel Air all I ever get is advertisements for replacement parts, cars for sale, or toys/models. None of the forums I've looked at have any stickies for novices, either. There is a local car club, but it seems to consist entirely of much older men who couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day. Would anyone mind answering these questions for me in regards of what I need to get started, what to look out for, etc? 1. Assuming I plan to farm out complicated stuff like bodywork, paint, mechanics, etc... and only plan to do minor restoration myself/maintenance, what sort of tools would I need? Assuming I get average entry-level grade tools/hobby grade tools (as opposed to professional grade), about how much will this cost? 2. What are problem areas for a 57 Bel Air? As in, what should I look for when purchasing one, and what kind of problems often occur as far as maintenance for this particular model? (IE: what, if anything, requires the most frequent repairs on one of these cars?) 3. What kind of places would I want to check out in my local area if I wanted to get a look at one of these up close? (scrapyard, body shops, etc?) I can find these cars easily enough on the internet, but I'd like to get a better look in person so I can better understand/apply what I've read so far. 4. How often are these cars stolen? I've seen a few threads on car forums where owners report their cars being stolen, but I can't find any info in regards to how often this happens. My main concern is that I was considering getting this as a daily driver, but if I have a significantly higher risk of it getting stolen anytime I park it in public than I would with any other classic car (yes, I realize a classic car is more likely to get nabbed than a nondescript modern one) then I may have to rethink my plans... 5. Assuming I only want to do minor bodywork/restoration myself and leave the major stuff to professionals, about what kind of condition car (IE: price range) should I want to be looking at? I'm hoping to spend no more than $10k on the car itself and an additional $5-$15 on restoration. Is this even possible, or am I in fantasy land? Sorry for being so verbose, but I'm sick and tired of fruitless internet searches. Edit: This is a long term thing. I don't plan on buying anything for quite some time (10 or so years from now.)

Help a useless car lover out boys.? Well, here is the deal fellas. I am infact a useless car lover. You name a part on the motor, and tell me to fix it, I think you are speaking alien. Yep, the only thing I know how to do is change the wiper blades, pump in gas, and change the oil. Here is the main point.. A guy like me, that knows nothing of cars, and lives a meager lifestyle(don't have alot of money to blow). Should I be buying classic cars with power?? - The car I have my heart set on, his the American classic 1996/1997 Chevy Impala SS. You know the big boat with the LT1? I want that beast so bad, and I found one for 8000$ with low mileage. I researched the vehicle and apparently.. this thing was built like cr@p. It breaks down alot, regardless of all the normal tune ups(changing fluids etc. - stop laughing). I don't know if there is any truth to this as it was only a few reviews, and there was 10's of thousands of these built. Anyways.. if this thing is going to break down on me alot, and for the size of the car.. should I even be getting it? I want it bad, but the fact I am so ill-educated on fixing cars and the fact this thing was built like cr@p makes me nervous. What do you guys think? Then what are you details on the 97 Cadillac STS?

2004 Chevy Malibu Classic Transmission Issues? My car started shifting hard suddenly today. I called my auto mechanic immediately who said, shut it off and back on. I did and it stopped doing it. He called back and said, "bad news, I called the tranny shop and they said that was a sign it was going bad and it's a matter of time now." So, because I am a single Mom with a special needs child, I don't have the money and don't want to get ripped off. My car would sit and I would be walking a long way to and from work every day and that isn't good with a special needs child waiting on me. So, I am researching this. I found on the Internet: 1) get more than one opinion from tranny shops and 2) have the sensors checked at an Auto parts store because it could be something simple. Any other advice? Anything to look for or ask? Anything, please help. I may be driving on borrowed time. Thanks so much! :-)

Fix ups on a '96 Chevy Caprice classic wagon? so i inherited this caprice from my uncle and i have to say, i wasn't to excited. But a car is a car and me being the optimist, I'm stoked about repairing and jump starting this baby into gear. I have the technical parts bought, delivered and installed, but i refuse to drive this around like it is.....except in emergencies. So anyone know any sites that give me a preview of body kits, bumpers and fenders, anything to keep me from winging the entire body with cans of paint and mixed parts? nah, i completely see your point, and i understand about the engine. All of its mechs are fine by me. I'm just in turmoil about what do with the exterior for style. I'm an american muscle lover so i wish they had kits to fit that help em look big block instead of just hiding it.

How would you fix/find the correct part an oil leak coming from deep up into the engine of 04 Chevy Classic? I've narrowed it down to coming from the rear of the engine near the Trans axle/transmission. The only reason I know it leaks is because there were no oil leaks on drive way and now there is and I noticed them dripping from my car. It doesn't drip a whole lot, but after sitting a while it does make a hand sized puddle. I need to know if this is a common problem, or if it needs to be fixed right away. I'm very handy with car mechanics. But if it needs the engine removed, I'll just take it to a mechanic. Thanks For The Help... Okay I should have thought of that. I have been pretty good about checking it in the morning before i leave the house.

question about classic cars? if i were to get a 67 chevy impala but the parts to actually keep it running were too hard to find now, could i just rip everything out and put updated parts in it? *i know that it is a horrible thing to even ask, trust me its the last thing i want to do to such a beautiful car but i'm talking about worst case scenario*

Do classic/muscle cars cost more to insure? Im 16 years old with my driving permit going to be g2 in a few months (can drive alone with g2) Im looking to get a classic or muscle car so cars such as late 60's camaro or mustangs to something later such as late 80's monte carlos the car will likely be a project (im up for a small to medium restoration) so id try to get antique insurance? my cousin has antique insurance on his '81 camaro thats almost mint and its been appraised and everything and he can drive it on weekends and theres a set km's that he can drive according to his insurance im fully able to do a restoration as ive worked in an auto shop and I know a bunch of parts suppliers & garages (including one of my cousins) basically ive got the place, the tools, the know-how (im an auto student) and a parts suppliers anyways what I want to do is have it on my dads insurance, his record has been clean since started driving which around 30 years do insurance companies charge more for say cars that have options such as "SS" or other things that make is look sporty or make the car faster (bigger & better engine) say car with a 267 chevy v8 would be less insurance than one with a 350 v8? is it cheaper to say my dads the primary driver while I drive it? do older cars generally have cheaper insurance? is there such a thing as project car insurance? (do I even have to have insurance on a project if im not driving it say for a month?) im just so confused with all the insurance talk like premiums and deductibles etc etc.

1950 chevy sport coupe trunk lid, where can I find one? also need an opinion!? I'm currently rebuilding my 1950 chevy sport coupe, I have most of the body parts required except the trunk lid. I have searched EVERYWHERE, and cant find one! Does anybody know if there's a website that will have one? If you need the body number its 50-1227. Ive tried bobs classic chevy, chevsofthe40s, and all of those. I also need an opinion. I have a ramjet fuel injected 454, and I have a 400 small block fuel injected as well, which should I use for this car?

Good first car or a piece of junk? Ok, so I'm gonna be 16 next month, and want a car. I was looking in this month's Classic Autos & Parts issue, and saw this 1979 Chevy El Camino. 305 V8, auto. Runs good, drives good, needs brake work, rusty in corner panel, but still very restorable. $1000. The color is kind of a blue/grey, but doesn't look too bad. Just wondering what you people think, if it's worth buying, or not even worth going to look at. The seller is like 2 hours away from me, but I could just have my uncle go look at it for me. Yes? No? Piece of crap? I just don't know D: Ok, so I'm gonna be 16 next month, and want a car. I was looking in this month's Classic Autos & Parts issue, and saw this 1979 Chevy El Camino. 305 V8, auto. Runs good, drives good, needs brake work, rusty in corner panel, but still very restorable. $1000. The color is kind of a blue/grey, but doesn't look too bad. Just wondering what you people think, if it's worth buying, or not even worth going to look at. The seller is like 2 hours away from me, but I could just have my uncle go look at it for me. Yes? No? Piece of crap? I just don't know D: P.S., I'm not buying it to trick it out and stuff, just to drive to work and other places. Making it look good is something I'd do later on.

What does it mean when a vehicle description says it is a clone? I was looking at classic cars and some of them say "clone". For example: 1967 Chevy Camaro SS, Clone. Does it mean that the engines numbers don't match? That it is made from scratch? (No original chasis) Or that it is a restored vehicle with modern parts? Any other information relating to this would help.

I need to know the name of a part of a car under the hood!!! Please help?!? I am an owner of a 2004 Chevy Malibu Classic. No extra specs or anything. I recently went to get my car checked just to make sure that everything was running good. The mechanic told me that I needed a transmission flush and some other part repaired too. Now I forgot the name of it but it started with an "A" or an "O"... It sounded like "orthomider"... Or something like that... But it is not called odometer for that I believe is found in bikes and motorcycles. Well anyways, he said it had something to do with the cars acceleration... Like being able to catch speed.. I feel really dumb because I do not understand what he means...and I feel really dumb that I did not write it down.. I already called his shop back and it rings continuously. I need to know what that part is. I did not get it fixed on the spot because you need an appointment for maintenance. Anyone a good mechanic or knows about cars please help. Serious answers only. I do not have time. I need to know what this part is called so I can order it and take it to the mechanic. It is cheaper that way. I just pay him for labor.

can you help me with my car? i live in houston texas i have a 1983 chevy caprice classic wagon it needs tranny work either rebuilt or parts replaced the motor will not fire as of now it has a 305 it has a turbo 350 tranny it is my moms car she is disabled and i am trying to find work we are a low income family so all work will be paid in computer services if youn can help in any way let me know ASAP email me at bmoturtleco@yahoo.com call me at 713 946 0332 leave a message and i will ethier pickup or call you back

Car does not accelerate well, sputters when trying to start, does not start? I've got a 94 chevy lumina that i took in and got a lot of maintenance work done on a few months back, it's been running better than it ever has...until just the other day, and then today. First thing I noticed was that it wasn't getting nearly the same gas mileage before, in fact I thought i may be leaking gas. That wasn't such a big deal, probably just my imagination. Anyways, the other day it started really fighting me when I tried to accelerate. I'd let up and press down again and it would do better for a second, then start sucking again. I managed to get home though. Unfortunately, I forgot my car was sucking so I drove it to work this morning...whoops. I could get it up to 30 after maybe 10 seconds, and it was fighting me the whole way. On my last turn it died on me, power steering and all that went out (classic stuff my car used to do). The dying part not a big deal, this time. After work though, it was idling really bad, super bumpy/shaky/ you know, like your car is dying. And it did die. I tried to give it some gas and it kind of badmouthed me for it :\ So eventually, I get to the point (still where I parked it at work) where it won't turn over, instead it just goes BABABABABABUMPBUMPshockalockashake-die while I'm turning the key. Any help would be great, at this point I just want to get it home (a few miles, driving in town). Thanks (yes I real question too).

What is a rear end and how much does it cost to repair ? chevy caprice? I have a 1992 chevy caprice classic that a guy said i need a rear end after realizing some thic fluid was leaking near my muffler how much will part and labor cost to fix this if its even the problem. My car will now move into any gears. while i was drivin it turned off i restarted it then tried move into drive but wouldnt move it squealed or roarin sound. i pushed it over the road then had to put the emercency break down because it wouldnt stay in park. chekd my transmission fluid it was normal and clear no burn smell frm my car

How to replace this part? I recently had the torque control cylinoid replaced on my car. Can someone just give a brief summary on how this part is generally replaced. I don't think the dealership is being very honest with me on what they are doing to my car. (simply because I am a girl). And I'm going to set up a meeting with the service department manager because I have returned my car to them 3 time since christmas with a new problem and I'd like to go in there knowing a little bit about the parts and why they replaced it so they wont think that I am a complete idiot and start fixing things right so I don't have to keep taking me car to them. Its a 2005 chevy classic, 4 cylinder

Chrome Plated Rods?!? (Engine Rods)? okay, I saw the movie Grease recently on TV, not the first time (I'm 25 years-old, I watched it like 5 times IN school before for whatever reason) that being all stated, in the song "Go Grease Lightening, you're tearing up the Quarter Mile"...John Travolta sings the Lyrics "...& Chrome Plated Rods, Oh Yeah!!" now, I was raised helping my dad restore & then work on and fix classic cars, my mom's '55 Chevy, that was the 1st one, his 1968 Plymouth Road Runner which has a 426 Hemi (NOT a 426 Wedge...a '426 Wedge' Has Wedge Shaped Combustion Chambers, not Hemispherical Combustion Chambers; Hence "Hemi", but now I'm getting off topic).....What could POSSIBLY be the use for Chrome Plate Rods, OF COURSE UNDERSTANDING, That Rods are what Connect the Pistons to the Crankshaft of an internal combustion engine....The only thing I could think of would be to show wear more easily...but if you're running a motor in such a way that you need to have the piston rods show where the stress is affecting them most...then you should probably switch to a car with a Rotary Engine...in a Rotary Engine, there's no Pistons to do stuff like that & there's no Moving Parts that change direction in a Rotary Engine...

1964 or 1963 Chevy Impala? Both convertible, both SS. Why? Regardless of which one I pick, I will fix them up to the max. The best performance parts under the hood for the classic, best visual upgrades (gold D's and hydraulics) and just make it an all out good looking car. If I do this will it matter which one I pick?

I wss in a auto collision. I was not at fault. Other driver did not yield the right-of-way from a stop sign...? on a side street and crossed in front of me. I have Progressive and they are repairing the damage (over $4,706.00. My car is appraised at: $5,890.00. 2004 Chevy Classic (Malibu). HER insurance is Farmers and they paid for my deductable. My question is. even though it's being repaired (I insisted on OEM PARTS, since it's what my car has in the 1st place before SHE hit me) ....can I still be compensated for the diminished value? I know even if it LOOKS repaired and all...it will never be the same...and I have to report it's been in a collision if I decide to sell it or trade it in. What should I do? Progressive won't compensate (I didnt' think so anyway). Should I put in a seperate claim for this? Forgot to add..I"m in the State of California. blob....no kidding! I was SURPRISED they didn't just total it.

Rebuild or replace for a 1979 ford bronco? i have a 1979 Ford Bronco, im a big chevy man, but i love all classic cars and trucks, i would like to rebuild the original block but there is alot i would have to do to get the horse power i want out of it, so first question what would yall recommend on rebuild parts/performance parts, then if i was to replace what is a good website or company to go to thats not to expensive to get a engine and transmission from, mind you this truck will be a off road truck and i have a lift and tires on it as is so please help me out the best yall can.

Should I Sell My 88 caprice? Hey. I have an 88 chevy caprice classic brouham edition. I love that car and have had it since I was 17 and I am now 24. So about 7 years. It's been broken for about 2 years. Needs a new transmission and flywheel. And now the electrical system is shot. I have so many memories in that car. When it worked it was a dream to drive. Smooth, powerful and damn roomy. I have been thing of selling it. It needs about 1600 for the tranny and 200 for the flywheel and new tires too. I would like upgraded tires. I would have to go to a mechanic because I dont know how to fix cars and I dont trust my friends who supposively know cars. They all say that. A mechainic would charge 3000-5000 to get it fully running again. I know I can get a rebuilt cheap at like kragen or autozone or any other parts store. I know its alot of money but so is a down payment on a new car. And insurance and monthly payments. I have been thing of the Kia forte because of it's warrenty and the fact that it's a new car. It's cheap and good on gas. It's ok to drive but some bodyrool. My car just sits in my driveway which is damn small cause I live in a mobile home and our driveways not that big. Everyone tells me to sell it and I'm like idk. A guy offered me 700 for it. I think that's an ok deal considering it's condition. What are your thoughts on that please. I have a baby on the way. Due in July. Plus I'm not working rite now. Waiting for my second interview with a job. Should I keep it or sell it. It's my first car. Am I gonna be sad to see it go. Will I regret it with this car. I usually drive my gf imported Toyota and it's ok and maintaince free. My car is a boat that takes up the whole street and is loud as hell. It did piss me off during my drive but now that it's dead I can't let it go. What do you think should I sell it or keep?

What is a good starter car for a restoration? Classic Pre-1980's? I'd like to restore a classic car, but I don't know much about the availability of such cars or their parts. For instance, I'm sure there are some classic cars that have parts that are more available than others (maybe the 57 Chevy). I know I'd be hard-up to find parts for a 1937 Bugatti Type 57. I'm just looking to get my feet wet. Any advice is helpful. Thx.

Is this a good short story? I don't think it will take it all at once, so I'll post it piece by piece if I need to. As a trucker, you have to be ready for almost any size load, at any time of day (or night), and any driving length, depending on who you work for. As I crawled from my bed at 2 in the morning, I wondered what ever made me want this job. I found some jeans, put them on, and dug a shirt out of the dryer. I grabbed a jacket, and headed to the pickup. I started it. I put my Classic Country CD set in my jacket pocket, and turned on the heater. I put the truck in first, and took off. I pulled up to the parking lot where my rig was, about 10 blocks from my trailer house, and parked. I looked at the huge load of appliances that was in the trailer, and walked over to the rig. I hopped in, and got everything ready. As I took off, I put a CD in. I skipped to track two. Hello Walls came on. I turned up the volume, and drove off. It went on to Welcome to my World, then Sea of Heartbreak, and Abilene, Detroit City, then Six Days on the Road. I cranked up the volume, and before I knew it I was singin’ along, happy as could be for someone who woke up at 2 AM. Then it went on throughout the tracks, and after it played El Paso, I took it out and went on to the next CD. After several CDs, and a few rest stops on the highway that I don’t remember driving onto, it was 5 in the mornin.’ I checked at how much further I had to go, and I was about three hours in to a 24 hour(without resting time) trip. I was to drop off these appliances at a Sears, and then go get some kind of pipes to take to a construction company in Texas. I pulled over at a Love’s, and got some cappuccino. I never got over my dislike of coffee, so I drink this stuff. It keeps me awake, right? I put the humongous Styrofoam cup into the cup holder and turned on the radio. Nothin’ good. I turned it off. I drove up to a scale. Everything went well, and I was sent on my way. I had a relative waiting for me in California, and he was gonna come along on the way home. He had rented an apartment, and had no furniture of his own, and recently got evicted because the landowner sold the building, and they were makin’ it into an office or somethin.’ I took a gulp from my cappuccino, and continued driving. I finished the huge cup within an hour. One thing about cappuccino, though, it makes you pee. Quickly. After being in the rest stop for 5 minutes, I came out. I hopped in the truck and drove off. It was noon, and I was starvin.’ I went to the nearest Burger King, but passed about 10 different McDonalds on the way there. Everyone knows they do not serve actual food at McDonalds. Five PM. Sleepiness was setting in, but I couldn’t stop or else I would not be able to get there on time. I picked up my emergency air horn (the kind they have at Wal-Mart that you carry around when hiking, etc.) and pointed it towards the passenger seat. I pressed the button. Now I was awake. Ten PM. After 32 air horn blasts, 6 rest stops, and two fast food places, I was almost there. So, I pulled into another rest area, covered my windows, and went into my sleeper. I laid on the bed, turned on the TV, and set it to turn off in two hours. I watched the monologue of Jay Leno, and dosed off about 5 minutes after the guest came on. My wind up alarm clock buzzed a good loud ring, and woke me up. It was 6, so I ate some Pop-Tarts, and hit the road. They’re supposed to be there by noon, so I was hurryin’ up to get there. After four hours, I made it there. I still had about two hours left, so I sat there watchin’ TV, and I relaxed and kicked back. We got the appliances unloaded. We, as in me working, and about 5 Sears employees sittin’ on the loading bay sayin’ they didn’t like the way I moved the stove. I hollered, “Well get up off your rear, and get over here!” “Right away, Captain Seuss!” He retorted. None of them moved. So anyway, after an hour of unloading a trailer full of large appliances by myself, I went to my cousin’s apartment. Sam opened the door. “You ready to help move pipes?” “Yeah,” he said. He was about 5’7, maybe 20 years old, wearing a medium blue t-shirt and blue jeans. He was kinda skinny, with short, black hair. He picked up a black duffel bag and came out. We headed for the truck and he tells me of the plans they had for the building. We hopped in, and I said, “Well, I got you a house real cheap. It has wheels, though.” “That’s ok,” he said, “As long as it’s a house.” There were no cars in the parking lot except my rig and a red Chevy Cavalier, with several dents in it, and faded paint. Rust covered parts of the hood and roof. I pulled out onto the street, looking at the huge buildings, billboards and palm trees. I pulled up onto the highway, and accelerated to about 80 mph. I held this speed. At about 5 PM, there were no cars on the highway. I pulled over at a rest stop. After I finished, I came out and sat in the truck to wait for Sam to come out. I noticed the Cavalier nearby, and thought it was odd. I picked up my binoculars, and read the plate. 5J7 814. I wrote it down. Sam came out, and got in the truck. I gave him the plate number. “What’s this, Joe?” “It’s a plate number. See that car?” “Yeah,” he answered. “Well it was in the parking lot of your old apartment when we left.” “Yeah, I kinda remember seeing it.” “Well,” I said, “Let’s go.” I pulled out of the lot and went on the highway. The car followed. I changed lanes. So did it. I thought about calling the police, but what would they do? At 10 PM, after several worried conversations between us, the car pulled up beside us. The window rolled down, and something poked out of it. Before I could do anything, I felt a sharp pain in my leg. A tire blew, and the truck flew over to the left, and smashed into the Cavalier. It flew over the guardrail, and flipped into the other side of the highway. The truck swerved over to the right as both me and Sam tried to hold the steering wheel. As I attempted to stop the truck, it flew into the right guardrail. It went over, and started to tip. Glass broke everywhere, and I felt a pain in my other leg. I fell toward the passenger door, and slammed against Sam, and then the both of us flew toward the roof. I attempted to stop my head from hitting. I fell toward the driver door, and everything went black. I woke up to Sam nudging me. It had been only one minute. Something about the truck seemed weird to me. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Everything was upside down. “Are you ok?” He asked. “I don’t know. Let’s call for help.” I saw blood on me and Sam. I tried to move. I reached for the CB. It was gone. I looked over to my right. It laid there, smashed to pieces. I reached for my cell phone. I opened it, and the screen was smashed. I thought it might still work. I dialed 911. No response from the phone. “Hey, you got a phone?” I asked. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s gone!” I pushed on the door. It didn’t open. I could hardly see, so for all I know that could’ve been the dashboard. I reached for a light. The cover was broken, but I found the button was intact. I pushed it. The small light illuminated the cab. I found the door. I pushed on it. It still wouldn’t move. I turned around in the crushed in cab and kicked at the door. It popped open with a good bit of resistance. I looked at Sam. He had a broken nose, and was pretty much fine except for that and a few scratches. I had been shot, and had hit my leg on the shifter when I fell. I crawled out of the cab, and helped Sam out. We looked around. The pipes were everywhere, and the rig’s roof had been crushed under the bottom half of the truck. The rig was crushed to about 3 feet tall. I lifted my pants leg up, and looked at my gunshot wound. The bullet had just barely scraped the skin of my leg. I stood. I climbed up the embankment, where the grass was torn up, and saw the highway. The little car sat there, 40 feet from me, flipped over, caved in, and generally destroyed. There were several small packages all around it. I pulled Sam up. I still had the plate number in my pocket. We walked over to the little car, and grabbed the gun from the hands of the passenger. I made sure to leave no fingerprints on it by using a clean spot of my shirt. . I threw the gun across the highway, into the ditch we just crawled from. I attempted to take the pulse from the passenger. Barely anything. I pulled him out of the car, and checked his wounds. He had cuts all over him, and his arm was bent at an odd angle. His face was cut badly. I shook him. He started to groan. “HEY!” I yelled. “You ok?” No response. I searched the car for a phone. There wasn’t one. Sam and I walked around to the driver. His side of the car was caved in the most. I found a crowbar lying a few feet from the car, near the rear, and pried the door open with it. I looked at the driver. He was badly cut, with several broken bones. I looked up at his face. Right above his left eye was a hole. He’d been shot. I heard a loud pop from the distance, and blood spattered up into my face. Me and Sam ran over to the ditch we crawled from, and I grabbed the AK-47. I looked around. I didn’t see anyone. I heard several more shots, and 7 people emerged from the ditch across the highway. They ran across the highway firing the biggest rifles I had ever seen. And they were firing at the car. They stormed it, stealing everything of value. Then they got a package from around the car. They squeezed it, and it shaped. They opened it, and it appeared to be Play-Doh. Then they took all of the packages, and took them back to where they were hiding. One of them did something to the first one, and then ran. He seemed to be laying some kind of wire behind him. They got down into the ditch, and the car exploded. I was terrified. I looked around. There was a blue Ford Explorer pulling out of the ditch. I heard them yelling. “HURRY UP!!” One said. “The truck won’t start!” “Screw the truck! Put the C4 in here and come on!” They loaded up the Explorer with all the packages they found, and sped off. When I didn’t see or hear them, we ran across the highway. There was no question- the occupants of the car were dead. We ran into the ditch, and saw a white two door Ford Explorer. We got in. Sure enough, it wouldn’t even try to start. I popped the hood. I looked around at the engine, and immediately found the problem. The battery terminal had come loose and got knocked off the battery. I plugged it back in, and we started the truck. I drove it out of the ditch, and we went on in silence. I noted the nearest mile marker, and we found an exit ramp. I went into the closest police station I found, and told them the whole story. “Well,” the officer at the front desk said, “We don’t like practical jokers around here. Now just because I’m in a good mood, I’ll let you go.” “I’m not joking!!!” I yelled. “GO HOME, PUNKS!” the officer yelled. “I’m not lying!” I paid mine and Sam’s bail, and we left the police station. I conveniently left out where we parked, so we still had a vehicle. We drove down the highway at top speed, and soon we caught up to the blue SUV. We kept our distance, and I noted the plate number. I stayed behind them, and after an hour, they pulled off the highway. They drove up to an old building, and parked. They all got out, and I turned off the road a block behind them so they wouldn’t see their truck that we were driving. I went around that block, where I could see them, and pulled over. It was 11 at night. I was wide awake. They walked out of the building, and a garage door opened. They drove the Explorer in, and they came out driving a black GMC Yukon. We followed them. I asked Sam to check the clip in the AK-47. He said it was almost full. He started to look around in the truck. In the glove box he found the title to the truck, the insurance, a cell phone, the owner’s manual, and a bunch of bullets for the AK, and some shotgun bullets, and bullets for a 9mm pistol. After looking around more, three 9mm pistols were located. I took one, and the AK, and Sam took the other two. Sam got the phone. I wrote down the number, and put it in my pocket. We followed the SUV to another building just a couple blocks down the street. I pulled over and they sat for a while. They jumped out, and got some of the C4. They jammed it into a crack in the sidewalk. They put some in the front window frames, and they put some in the truck. That’s not good at all. They wired it up to a timer, and hid the timer in the truck. They got into a taxi, and left. Sam took the truck and followed. . I ran over, found the timer. Ten minutes. I took all the C4 and put it in the truck, and drove it away, mindin’ the timer. I took it to a deserted place, far from the buildings, and parked it. I ran. I found a phone, and called Sam. He gave me the address that they were at, a house this time, and I told him that I moved the truck. Right after I got off the phone, the truck blew up. And blow up it did. It shot a door about 4 blocks, but did not hurt anyone. I ran. Four blocks away, I called a taxi. I went to the address, and found our Explorer. Sam was there, and said they were in a house just up the street. We drove over, and got all our guns. I called the police, and told them the whole story. It turns out that these people have been on the loose for years, and are responsible for numerous murders, bombings, and several hundred unpaid parking tickets. I told them where we’d be, and asked for a little reward in helping them find these fugitives. I told them we would help out in the raid, but they refused. Ten minutes later, S.W.A.T. pulled up in an armored van. They raided the house, and came out with every one of the fugitives. Once they were locked up, I discussed my reward with the S.W.A.T. As me and Sam drove off in our 1998 Ford Explorer, with our new pistols (they can’t let us have assault weapons), and our $10,000 reward, and we drove home. Me and Sam split the cash 50/50. I fixed up my mobile home, paid my hospital bills, and got a different job. Well, that was it. I guess it's not a short story, I have to admit it's not one of my best. I got an idea, and then lost it. It was hard to come up with the rest of the story. I'm not good with descriptions, either.

The new southern santa? A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209

A new contract for 2008? A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209

christmas jokes!!! check it out? new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies.However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however,there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!"And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be playedon all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be:Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It. "Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209