Overhaulin'

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Cow For Sale The farmer had been taken in so many times by the local car dealer that when the dealer came to him and wanted to buy a cow, the farmer priced it as follows… Sale Invoice Basic top of the line cow$3,879.87 Two-tone plush exterior (optional)$2,197.08 Deluxe Dual Horns (Weather durable)$1,747.92 Genuine Cowhide upholstery$2,346.73 Arial Sonar$4,462.92 Lawn mower Includes a lifetime of free top of the line gas.$2,474.58 Automatic composter (guaranteed to never wear out)$6,483.87 Automatic grain mill (guaranteed to never wear out)$4,126.93 Automatic compost shredder (guaranteed to never wear out)$4,873.23 Heavy duty straw shredder (guaranteed to never wear out)$5,862.29 Deluxe automatic fly swatter (guaranteed to never wear out)$2,892.61 Produce storage unit (guaranteed to never wear out)$7,999.34 Extra stomachs - 3-extra, standard equipment Lifetime guaranteed to never rust or wear out, but must be filled with organic matter a minimum of twice daily, more is better for optimum performance. $8,492.81 Deluxe, commercial grade, 4-spigot, huge volume, easy flow dispensers Guaranteed to never rust or never wear out. Must be serviced 2x's a day.$12,817.72 4-hoof (quad) drive Guaranteed to never wear out, and will never need oil.$4,736.33 Accessories included: Operating equipment without them will void all guarantees.$21,239.22 Deluxe stainless steel spigot extractor Authentic Cow heart rubberized coveralls Original Cowgard cap-with bonus kick guard face shield For those times when the composter is in full operation Top of the line Cowpii boots with virgin calf hyde lining To keep out what you don't want in and keep those tootsies warm. Cow heart rubberized (full length, hand to shoulder) gloves Genuine Cowpii compost scooper Industrial strength, pooper scooper, NEVER leave home without it. Sub total $100,919.56 *Other Fees Pre-showroom detailing$994.11 Road ready$1,092.39 Stock trailer delivery$1,963.10 Optional extended 30-day service plan$999.99 Excess paperwork$1,602.01 Filing fees$901.01 Handling fees $974.92 Non-refundable credit check$1,286.42 Authenticity of ownership papers$5,684.92 Registration fee$8,697.34 Total$24,309.12 Sub total $127,288.99 Tax Uncle Sam wants his cut. $26,728.99 Total$191,019.97 Returned checks$995.00 **Bonus!!!** Free lifetime of aromatherapy and organic matter to keep your garden well fed and as lush as plants in a rain forest. ~~~Disclaimer~~~ Once it leaves the farm, seller will not be held responsible or liable for anything. Buyer takes full responsibility and agrees to clean up any and all messes and be held accountable and liable for any and all damages that may occur. Owner is responsible for all repairs, damages and losses after leaving the seller’s possession since seller can not guarantee the upkeep and care of such a valuable item. Seller is not responsible for any typos or errors in adding totals, it is the responsibility of the educated car salesman, who does these things on his job daily, to make sure the contract and all figures are accurate. Remember the seller is just an uneducated farmer. If the owner decides to put such a prized possession on his table, ownership will revert back to the original owner after all processing, packaging have been completed and all fee’s has been paid for by the purchaser. Author: unknown Revision Author: Cora Grody Copyright ©2006, 2007 Cora Grody

Public Comments

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2. I'm still laughing 10 minutes later