Overhaulin'

You want jokes? Try these.?

Too Good to Be True Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Amish Humor Sign behind an Amish carriage: "Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats. CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!" R.I.P. When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there. I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen. I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening. I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation. When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years." Driving Test A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer. So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

Public Comments

1. thanx for sharing lol
2. Its 2:40 am. I cant sleep. You made me laugh. Thank you!!!
3. Enjoyed a light-hearted moment; thanks! My fav? R.I.P
4. lol lol lol - they are SMASHING :) I love the last two, especially, thanks for the laugh :)
5. Great! lol... Thanks for the laugh!!! One more: Four Europeans go hiking together, and get frightfully lost. First they run out of food, then they run out of water. I'm so thirsty, says the Englishman. I must have tea. I'm so thirsty, says the Frenchman. I must have wine. I'm so thirsty, says the German. I must have beer. I'm so thirsty,says the Jew. I must have diabetes...
6. These are good! Thanks :) Keep them coming.. Kismett: I love yours too... so true
7. thanks!