Overhaulin'

Everyone is doing their City/State why not me??!!?

Tips for non-natives visiting Chicago: > > First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Chi-caw-go, or > Cha-ca-ga depending on if you live north or South of Roosevelt Rd. > > Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and > buy a new one. If in Naperville and your map is one day old, then it is > already obsolete. > > Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chicago has its own > version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." > > There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. We > all drive like that. > > All directions start with, "I-94" ... which has no beginning and no end. > > The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11. The evening rush hour is from 2 > to 8. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. > > If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed > out and possibly shot. > > When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the > light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers > running the red light in cross-traffic. > > Construction on Northwest Tollway is a way of life and a permanent form > of entertainment. We had sooooo much fun with that we have added the > Elgin-O'Hare and the I-355 to the mix. (Incidentally the 'Elgin-O'Hare' > does NOT go to either Elgin or O'Hare). > > All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in > Cicero!" > > If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory > defect. > > Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. > > All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period. > > First Ave, LaGrange Rd, NW Highway, all mysteriously change names as > you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). > > A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, > although many North/South freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. > > The minimum acceptable speed on the Dan Ryan is 85...anything less is > considered downright sissy. > > The Congress expressway (Ike) is our daily version of "NASCAR". > > The Dan Ryan is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and > "trap." > > If it's 100 degrees, it's Taste of Chicago. If it's 10 Degrees and > sleeting/snowing, it's opening day at Comisky Park. If it's rained 6 > inches in the last hour, the Western open Golf Classic is in the second round. > > Chicago, there's no place like it! > > You might be from Chicago if.... > > You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. > You become irate at people who do. > You measure distance in minutes. (SO?) > You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines" > Your school classes were canceled because of the cold. > Your school classes were canceled because of the heat. > You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. > > Stores don't have sacks, they have bags. (DUH!) > > You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. > Example: > "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the Jewel I wanna go with," > (is there something wrong with these)? > > You can locate Illinois on the United States map. > You carry jumper cables in your car. > You drink "pop." Not Soda! (Exactly) > You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads. > You refer to any interstate highway as "the Tollway." > You know the names of the interstate: > Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan. > > You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois." > You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake." > You refer to Chicago as "The City." > > No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown" you > immediately assume they're talking about Downtown Chicago. > > You have two favorite football teams: > The Bears and anyone who beats the Packers. > > You buy "The Trib." > You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog. > You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is. > You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City." > You understand what "lake-effect" means. > You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which > station they end up at. > You have ridden the "L." > You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, > 773, 708, 312, & 815. (and now 224). > > You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet: (588-2300 > EMPIRE)

Public Comments

1. Damn.That got me thirsty for some Old Style beer. You are from Chicago if you automatically say the words "maybe next year" at the end of baseball season.
2. TWO THUMBS UP from fellow Chicagoan! and as 2nd poster pointed out... (I'm a Cubs fan)... there's always next year ;)
3. I moved to chicago, in July of 1999 and I can RELATE to just about 95% of the statements in the above "question"!
4. Excellent! More things about the expressways....I-88...the road to Naperville, Aurora, and DeKalb is now the Reagan Memorial. The tollway continues to Iowa but few take it because of the high tolls. Also, some old timers still call I-290 the Congress Expy. I don't think the Republican names catch on easily. The first expressway isn't one...Lake Shore Drive. The real first expressway was the Edens, but it started at the edge of the city to the end of Cook County where a stoplight and intersection wakes people up...sometimes.