Overhaulin'

Do you like my story so far?

I started writting it and already posted some, but people wanted it to be updated so here is all i have so far. English, A. Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Those are all the important grades. But of course, just to be safe, A in home economics, gym, and French. Just to be safe. That is Heather Romero’s motto. Everything had to be perfect. If risks were involved it was out of the question. If something sounds like fun, there is probably a chance of getting hurt or having a bad reputation. And that was unacceptable. As always because her grades were so amazing, she is being aloud to go on a special trip this winter. She really didn’t want to go because this time she was going alone and was even thinking about flunking on purpose. But how would that look? She can never keep a secret much less flunk on purpose if it made her feel guilty. Heather looked around her room. A wooden desk matched the wooden bookshelf beside it. Her bookshelf is her only vacation she feels she needs away from life. Books on adventures, tragedies, romance, school, drama, suspense, illness, fairytales, cooking, animals, space, classic novels, and more. All take her to a world that works her way, even though she didn’t write the story. Beside her wooden shelf of joy was a window cracked open with curtains stressing to grasp the center of the room as the wind blew. The smell of rain entered the room. Heather took a deep breath, stood up from her bed and walked over to her dresser. Her suit case sat on top of an open drawer which held neatly folded clothes and other organized necessities. She released the air and looked into the mirror. Her red blotchy cheeks contrasted with her blue and green speckled eyes. She brushed back her dark blonde hair. Had she really been crying? Over something as silly as leaving for the winter? Over something as stupid as not seeing her annoying big brother for 5 weeks? Not possible. “Heather? Are you ready yet? Tallia will be here soon.” “Coming!” she called back to her mom. She zipped up her suitcase and closed her window then walked out into the front room. Her cousin Tallia was going to drive her up to Tallia’s cousins parents house where she was staying for her vacation. At least she was staying in the mountains, she’s always wanted to do that. As she walked through the hallway, she noticed Tallia had already arrived. In the room, was her mom, dad, brother, Tallia, and some other boy she’s never seen before. Linda noticed her daughter starring at the stranger trying to remember ever seeing him before. “This is Victor, Tallia’s friend. He is also going to be on the trip.” Victor grabbed Heathers limp hand and shook it. “I hope you don’t mind me. Tallia is giving me a ride up there too.” Heather blinked twice then stuttered back, “Um, yea, I-I mean, no I won’t mind, n-not like …um, I forgot something.” She skipped to her room to avoid him seeing her blush. Of course she wouldn’t mind. He was cute. His dark hair and tanned skin looked great with his stylish surfer clothes. He is probably from California. But how does Tallia have a friend from California, and what is he doing on this trip? It’s a long drive from California to Iowa. Then again he could be from Iowa too, and just naturally have that look. Heather shook her head to clear her mind and grabbed her sunglasses. “Did you get what you forgot?” Victor asked. “Um, yea…I needed sunglasses.” Gavin laughed, “What for?! Gosh Heather I swear, I should have never dropped you on your head when you were a baby.” Dale sighed and shook his head. Linda laughed. “What?,” Gavin demanded. “Snow blind,” Victor said. He grabbed the sunglasses from her hand and put them on. Even though they were girls, he looked good in them. ‘Is he flirting with me?’, Heather thought, ‘Or is he always like this?’. “Victor! Your always weird like this, give it back.” Tallia scolded. Well, there’s the answer. “You kids better get going if you want to make it, before it gets too late.” Tallia nodded and grabbed Heather’s bags to take to the car, Victor followed. “By squirt,” Dale hugged Heather. Linda grabbed Heathers arm and hugged her, “Have fun, sweaty! We’ll miss you!” Her mom let her go and glared at Gavin. “What? I wasn’t doing anything!” Linda sighed. Tallia peeked around the door, “All ready Heather?” “Yea.”, she waved one last time then went to Tallia’s car. She stopped on the porch. Parked in her driveway was a 2008 Chevrolet Camaro SS. “Whoa! Tallia how did you afford this?” She closed the trunk and smiled, “My job pays well.” Well at 24, she does have a lot of potential, but what job could she possibly have? "BTW IM 15!" happy?

Public Comments

1. Are you one of those 12 year olds who later put. "BTW IM 12!" If you are then this writing is average for your age.
2. Readers tend to not like perfect students- because no one is perfect, and its really hard to imagine a top student. Everyone has to have defults to them. And some readers tend to stay away from school stories such as this. Is there a conflict? Although, its a good start. Writing stories like this tends to expand writers' minds a bit. Good luck :D
3. I think its really good.idk what the first person its talking about. Can you put more??