Overhaulin'

Why is this person bragging so much & how should others react?

A few weeks ago someone new joined a classic car club I'm in. He's a very nice, outgoing person, but he has a habit that's causing everyone to talk about him in a way that's anything but flattering. He's in good shape and he brags about this every chance he gets. He can always find an opportunity to make a big production of popping his arm muscles and he also pulls up his shirt and makes boastful remarks about his abs at least once every time we all get together. Saturday evening one woman said to me and two others, "Has anyone seen ____ pull up his shirt and brag about his abs yet?" Another said, "Not yet but let's take bets on how long it'll be before he does." Within less than 5 minutes of these remarks, up went his shirt as he announced, "Ladies gather round, we're about to open the bidding!" He's making a total fool of himself and has become quite a laughing stock. What is your take on why this guy is doing this, and would you say anything to him about it?

Public Comments

1. I personally would just avoid him.But if you like this guy and think that he is ok other than that.Then it would be a nice thing to tell him that he is putting people off with this behavior.I think at least that's the best way to say it.I have no clue why there are so many people in the world who are like this.Maybe they are really insecure and that why they are like that.
2. He doesn't feel good about himself internally. He believes that external validation will make him feel better about himself. He needs people to agree with him to counter his negative internal feelings. The more overt someone is in seeking positive attention, the more negative they feel about themselves inside. What should you do? Well, if I were in this situation, I might take him aside and say something like we already think you are a good guy--do you realize that you might be making others feel uncomfortable by showing off your big muscles etc.? I know this is not your intention so I just wanted to make you aware of this. Or, you could just do nothing until he feels comfortable with the group enough to hopefully stop. He is trying very hard to gain acceptance is all.
3. I think mischief said it all spot on, except on what to do about it i find people like that would just ignore everything you said and it would make you fill as though you have wasted your time, If it really bothers you that much just try to ignore him or my way would be just to tell him to stop banging on about it and tell some one who cares, i have a friend like this who sounds abit like this guy i told him what i thought and he's never done it since!
4. He's a very insecure person. I'd probably ask him if he realizes how much of a fool he makes of himself by doing that. He'll stop...
5. sounds like it is a bad habit he developed because he is not calm enough to settle down - he needs to be the center of attraction even if he is a fool.