Overhaulin'

Relationship is friendship based, but is he just keeping me on the back burner, or is he for real?

I really like this guy that I've known now for about 3 years. We have a working type relationship together, but I live in NY and he lives in NC. He's expressed to me through countless texts and phone calls that he was interested as well. But lately, he 's been pretty distant and not very communicative. He explained himself very well, and said that he is not very talkitive lately, and that he is like this. This person, sent me a picture of himself countless times, one of himself with his grandparents, and one from work. He is very direct and to the point, however, I feel that he should make more of an effort to want something more with me, especially since he explained that he would "love to come visit me in NYC"...but he hasn't mentioned it again for about 2 weeks...and he isn't as endearing as he used to be. Our lines of communication is primarily via text. He also, says that he "HATES TALKING ON THE PHONE"...and that he doesn't stay in touch even with his closest friends, sometimes for months at hand. Is this something that southern guys just do? Or just him? Because he's not the only person I know that acts that same way, and he's from the south too. He's not a bad man, or liar. He doesn't have anything to gain by telling me that he feels the same way about me, as I do him...meaning that we really like each other...but he is also very different from what I'm used to. And also, he says he's not ready for a serious relationship, and can't tell me when he will be. He got out of his last one in June of 09 and has gone on dates, but then told me back in Oct/Nov that he was going to stop because he didn't like the "getting to know you faze of the dates...and it was getting too expensive for him". So, then in December, I mentioned to him that if he was dating again, and he says that he isn't because he has no time. He is very busy on his days off, but doesn't get into detail either. Sometimes, he'll tell me, but I don't like to pry. We aren't a couple, so he doesn't owe me anything...but he knows my sentiments, and I now his. His focus right now, as he's explained to me is, financing a new car, buying a new home, and making more money. So am I crazy for thinking that he's stringing me along, or is he just taking care of his life, and I should give him his space; maintain our friendship, be there for him when he needs me, and hopefully he'll come around to making a more obvious relationship move? Oh, yeah, and by the way, my company is relocating me to NC-the very site of where he works, and we may actually be working together...so what do you think about that? And what advice can you give me in dealing with him face to face. Yeah, we haven't met each other face to face yet. Funny, huh?

Public Comments

1. Is HE keeping you on the "back burner"...NO you've put yourself there! Do you really want a guy who doesn't communicate much? Probably not! Otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question. Move on--find someone who can care and communicate with you.